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Carter knowing the truth makes everything so much worse for Nathan. Every stray touch from Nathan's men is a betrayal. Every smack of his ass broken trust. Every comment cruel. Nathan isn't the cold-hearted slave owner anymore. He isn't sir. He'sTravis. Carter knows the truth behind every word, every act, every look. He knows Nathan is calculating. He knows he's weighing the risks with the benefits. He knows he sees Carter as a human, not as a slave, but treats him like a slave anyway.
It shouldn’t be that big of a difference, but it is. It fucking changeseverythingfor Nathan.
By the time Nathan is seated for breakfast, Carter kneeling between his legs, Nathan feels sick to his stomach. He avoids looking the boy in the eye as he tries - twice - to give him the order to warm his cock. After failing - twice - and still avoiding all eye contact, Nathan finally jerks his belt open and collects his soft cock from his pants.
Something flashes across Carter's face, but it doesn't last long enough for Nathan to place the emotion. The boy starts to lean forward, following the silent order, but he flinches away when Nathan puts a hand on the back of his head to guide him. Nathan lets it go for now, making a note to remind Carter next time they're alone that he can't do things like that.
A familiar warmth surrounds Nathan's cock. It's even worse than he expected. It feels like acid in his chest. He's dizzy within seconds. He hates it. Hates himself. Hates the entire fucking world for ever putting the two of them in this position.
Hates that he missed Carter’s mouth so fucking much.
Hates that even though he feels sick, he’s also fighting the urge to grip the boy’s hair in his fist and fuck his throat.
“Coffee, Master Roarke?” a house slave asks softly.
“Yes.” Nathan clears his throat when he hears the sound of his voice, hoping everyone will blame the early hour for how roughly the word came out. "Water as well."
The slave nods before slipping away toward the kitchens. A hand squeezes Nathan's shoulder a moment later. He looks up to find Mica grinning down at him, looking far too chipper for an early breakfast. Looking far too chipper for Mica, period.
“You’re happy this morning,” Nathan points out, keeping his tone teasing. “Did you get to kill someone last night?”
“Without permission? I would never.” He winks at Nathan, his smile devilish. “But Ididenjoy breaking in the new slave last night.”
Fuck.
How did Nathan forget about the new slave they bought?Well, heknowshow. He's been too wrapped up in everything going on with Carter. One of the slaves needed to be replaced - number 12, a position that had been vacant since before Carter's arrival. He looks to Benny, raising an eyebrow at him. Since he's just walking in and didn't hear Mica's comment, he puts his hands up in question. "What's that look for?"
“We have a new 12?” Nathan asks, trying to keep his voice even.
“Yes.” Benny sits down carefully, like he's expecting his chair to be rigged with a bomb. "I authorized it. The buy was clean.I have a profile worked up for you. Put it on your desk last night. Would you like me to retrieve it?"
“It can wait." Nathan turns his focus back to Mica, seeing that he looks uneasy now. Nathan can't exactly blame him. It's rare Nathan and Benny aren't on the same page. He can imagine his men must feel like children whose parents with a perfect marriage are suddenly fighting. But they're not fighting. They're not even really on different pages. Nathan has just been distracted.
It’s good that Benny didn't let things fall to the wayside. It's important for his men to know that. "My slave has clearly preoccupied me as of late when it comes to the other slaves in the house. They're mostly insignificant now that my needs are being met so regularly by him. My apologies for not keeping your needs in mind, gentlemen. I appreciate that Benny was able to help out."
His men relax and smile and jab at each other, assuring him that they didn't mind being down a fucktoy. Then Mica dives into a very detailed description of the new 12's first night here and all the things he spent the last 12 hours doing to him - 12 hours exactly, of course. Mica enjoys irony.
Nathan doesn't have to look down at Carter to know he's upset by the words, but he does anyway, finding the boy with his head turned just enough to fix a glare on Mica through the table. Nathan twists his fingers in Carter's hair, catching him by surprise. Thankfully the boy only gasps, a sound that goes unnoticed.When did he stop warming Nathan's cock?Nathan needs to get back on his fucking game.
He holds his soft cock between his fingers and lifts an eyebrow at Carter. The boy flashes him a glare that rivals the one he was giving Mica, but then he leans forward and takes Nathan back in his mouth. Nathan cards his fingers through Carter's hair, hoping to comfort him, but Carter shakes him off and scoots over a bit on his knees to gain distance between himself and the hand. Nathan curls his fingers into fists and forces himself to let it go. When he looks up again, he notices Benny watching. He gives his friend a false smile and prays he's the only one who saw.
By lunch, Benny has made a comment to Nathan in the privacy of his office while Carter was using the restroom that the boy needs to behave himself better.
By dinner, Mica has asked if his slave is having a bad day - mockingly, of course, because slaves don't actuallygetto have bad days - and Jason has muttered something about Nathan going soft when he thought Nathan couldn't hear.
By after dinner drinks in the entertainment room, where the men have the new 12 kneeling naked in the center of the room for all to see, one of the slaves has discreetly whispered to Carter, "Watch your attitude, idiot." It’s 7. The one Carter has made a fragile sort of friendship with since the night with Henley. He’s a smart slave. Carter should listen.
But Carter is stubborn and hurt. He's heartbroken. Angry. Devastated. Betrayed. Nathan knows the boy is a ticking time bomb. He tells himself he'll finish his drink, jeer at the new slave a bit, and then retire for the evening. Then he'll give Carter a very important talk about playing pretend and the consequences of not succeeding. Or Benny will give it to him, if the boy refuses to be with Nathan again.Should Nathan be letting him refuse? Is that part of the problem? Would Maison support him if he put his foot down?
The slave in the center of the room has begun to cry. Nathan sighs into his glass, hating this whole fucking ritual. His men love tormenting the new ones, and this is only made worse because 12 is a fresh slave, barely used and not at all trained like some of the more recent purchases had been. The sadists in them love that. A shiny new toy to mold. Tobreak.
“Nooo,” Mica tsks, playfully tapping the tip of a cane against the slave's bare hip. "That's not the right position. Do you need to see it again?"
“Y-yes, please,” the slave cries.
The cane whips through the air fast enough to whistle. Carter jumps on Nathan’s lap before the stick even hits skin, then turns away when the boy shrieks.
“How do you address us?” Mica barks.
