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“I am sure that they would, but for me, the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks,” Daisy admitted with a shrug. She reached out to a flower overhanging the arm of the bench and proceeded to lift it to her nose, pretending to be far more interested in sniffing the rose than she was in their conversation. “After all, how many men do you know who would be willing to allow me to continue educating myself?”
She did not need to look to know that her best friend had rolled her eyes the moment she spoke. It was all too clear to Daisy that those around her were becoming more and more frustrated with her constant desire never to fall into the same routines as others.What is wrong with wishing to be my own person?she asked herself, angry whenever she thought of just how small and silly everybody had been making her feel recently, everybody but the earl’s son.
“Then your tutoring sessions are going well?” Jennifer asked, and Daisy was all too pleased to pick up such a thread of conversation, anything to get off the subject of weddings and marriage.
She turned with an all too happy smile on her face and began to nod. “Oh, yes, they are going splendidly.”
“I seem to remember when you first learned of them, you were adamant that you would put an end to such silly things,” Jennifer reminded her. Though Daisy wasn’t entirely sure how it was possible, Jennifer’s eyebrow rose even further than before, and she looked at Daisy with obvious suspicion. “What has changed? You were adamant that you would frighten Mr Radcliffe off at the earliest chance.”
Daisy’s chest tightened at the mere thought of chasing Mr Radcliffe off. Having got to know him, she was well aware that nobody would ever be able to tutor her better, that was unless her father actually allowed her to attend university.It isn’t Papa’s fault,she reminded herself with a little frustration. It wasn’t her father’s fault that it was law that only men were able to attend such public and notable schools.
“I will admit I may have been a little hasty on my judgement of the situation,” Daisy said with a deep sigh. The moment that Jennifer brought him back to mind, Daisy could see his face every time she blinked. He seemed to smile at her from the darkness of the insides of her eyelids, almost as if he were drawn right onto her skin. It made her heart race to think of him still, even after several days had passed since their last tutoring session.
Nothing of note had really happened during said session, but Daisy had enjoyed it immensely. And when Mr Radcliffe had got up to leave, she’d had to fight the urge to reach out and stop him. She could still imagine how it felt to glance towards the maid, to debate whether she could get away with touching the nobleman without the young woman seeing, to watch him walk away when all she wanted to do was pull him near.
No, this has nothing to do with him,she snapped at herself firmly, pushing all desire-filled thoughts of Mr Radcliffe from her mind. It was not his handsomeness or his athletic figure that interested her; it was his mind and his intellect and how he made her heart race when he was talking about even the most simple things, things that had absolutely nothing to do with romance or lust or anything else of the sort.
“Then he is a good tutor?” Jennifer asked; her suspicion seemed to have turned to open curiosity, and Daisy watched her friend as she too turned her gaze away, pretending to admire the flowers. They both knew each other well enough that they were somehow beating around the bush.
Daisy couldn’t quite decide exactly where her friend was trying to go with their conversation, though she knew very well she had to be careful not to fall into whatever trap Jennifer was trying to set.
Biting the inside of her lip for a moment, Daisy quickly decided that it was best not to be too enthusiastic, and so she responded, “He is quite knowledgeable, and he does not treat me as if I am a child.”
As she spoke, she could see the way her friend’s eyes lit up. As soon as she finished, Jennifer sucked in a huge breath, looking like she was about to burst into song. Instead, she said, “You are attracted to him, aren’t you?”
A lump formed in Daisy’s throat, and she quickly shoved her hands into the folds of her pale green gown so that her friend would not see the way they had begun to shake.It’s not true,she told herself, even though she realised that her reaction was one that definitely suggested her friend was right.I could never be attracted to my tutor.
Though the truth was that from the moment Mr Radcliffe had first walked into the parlour, he had been so much more than that. Perhaps it was his age, so much closer to her own than the usual men her father employed to try and keep her out of trouble, or maybe even the fact that he was devilishly handsome, but it couldn’t be anything more than that.
He … he is merely a friend,Daisy told herself firmly, pinching her leg through the thick material of her skirt. She could never allow herself to believe that their relationship was anything more than that.
Determined to keep her cool, knowing that if she blurted her response quickly, her friend would only see that she was lying to her and herself, she said carefully, “Mr Radcliffe is quite attractive, and as I have said, intelligent, though I merely admire him for those things. It does not mean that I wish to marry him.”
The moment those final words left her mouth, Daisy realised she had made a terrible mistake. Even mentioning Mr Radcliffe and the word marriage in the same sentence had given Jennifer all the ammunition she needed to start up a conversation that would be excruciatingly painful for Daisy. A look of surprise flashed across Jennifer’s face before her lips began to purse, and she seemed to be trying to hold back a delighted smile.
“You truly are smitten with him!” she exclaimed, her lips pursing all over again as if there was much more she wished to say but did not dare to say it.
“No, no, I merely believe it would be unwise to risk losing such a good tutor just because I am frightened of what everything believes it will become,” Daisy insisted, her cheeks growing hotter and hotter as she began to feel like she was digging herself into a much deeper hole.
The knowing, excited expression on Jennifer’s face only deepened until she looked like she was fit to burst. Finally, she remonstrated, “You cannot lie to me, Daisy Lockhart. You have spoken of nothing but Philip this morning.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Daisy responded with a shake of her head, though as she said the words, she began to realise that her friend was right. Even when she had not mentioned him directly, she had somehow been dropping him and her experiences with him into their conversation all morning, and whenever she wasn’t actually talking about him, she was thinking about him.
Jennifer’s face darkened then, and she scowled deeply at Daisy. Her eyes darkened still further as she warned, “Do not try to fool me, Daisy. We both know that you are struggling to fool even yourself at this point.”
Daisy opened her mouth to protest before quickly shutting it once more, realizing there was practically nothing she could say to defend herself. Her friend was right.
To her relief, she was saved from having to explain herself by the sound of someone calling, “Lady Jennifer! Lady Daisy!”
Daisy followed her friend’s gaze across the lawn to see that her best friend’s betrothed was hurrying towards them with a delighted expression on his face. He was waving energetically as if he believed they might not be able to see him otherwise. He was silly, and even a little clumsy, and Daisy couldn’t help laughing, relieved that at least her friend had found somebody she wished to spend the rest of her life with.
Reaching out with her hand, she squeezed her friend’s knee and whispered into her ear as he approached, “I do hope the two of you will be so very happy together.”
The blond-haired, round-faced gentleman approached with a smile and eyes only for Jennifer as he bowed and said, “Good morning, ladies. I do hope I am not interrupting.”
“On the contrary, Lord Eccles. You have come at the perfect moment. I was just about to make my apologies as I am needed at home,” Daisy responded, pushing herself to her feet. Having see the affection between them many times before, Daisy did not wish to get in the way and was well aware she was not needed as a chaperone with Jennifer’s maid standing close by. “I would most appreciate it if you would escort Lady Jennifer home for me, My Lord.”
Daisy was most relieved at being able to make a quick exit as soon as Jennifer’s fiancé arrived, knowing that her best friend would be unwilling to talk all things men with him around. She greeted him warmly before making her excuses to leave, and Jennifer looked all too pleased to be left practically alone save for her maid, with her soon-to-be husband, though there was a glint in her eye that suggested their conversation was far from over.
