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With that, he leaned down and kissed her passionately yet measuredly, uncertain whether he could hold himself back for a second time. The way she pressed herself against him told him that she wanted him to leave as little as he wanted to, and it took everything he had in him to pull away from her again.
Gripping hold of her hand, he gazed deeply into her eyes as he bowed and kissed her knuckles with a promise upon his lips. Then he straightened up and swept a stray strand of hair from her face before promising again, “Tomorrow I shall call upon your father, and then we shall see where this goes, but for now, we must return to the ball separately.”
“I do not wish to.” Lady Daisy's voice was little more than a breath, and Philip barely heard her, though he saw her meaning clear enough in the tears that brimmed in her gaze. “I do not wish to dance with anybody but you.”
“After tonight, you will not have to,” he told her gently, leaning forward to kiss her gently upon her forehead, “but for now, you must go. I shall not have scandal brought upon your good name.”
Barely touching her hip, he urged her towards the patio steps knowing that if she remained there a moment longer, he would be unable to stop himself from continuing where they had left off.
He was relieved when she finally listened to him, and he watched, a little disappointed as she turned and made her way back up the steps. His eyes never left her and her gaze caught his as soon as she turned at the top of the steps to look at him again.
Pulling back into the shadows so that anyone watching her would not see him also, he continued to gaze at her from the darkness, hoping that his affection for her would follow her and shield her from all that she wished to avoid inside the ballroom.
Waiting for what he believed to be an acceptable amount of time, he finally adjusted his clothing, ensuring he did not look as if he had been dragged through a hedge backwards, and then he finally began to follow, hoping that Jessica would be agreeable to the idea of another dance after a short break because he couldn't think of any other way to keep himself away from Lady Daisy for the rest of the evening.
What am I doing?he thought with some anxiety as the realisation of what had just happened finally hit him. He had all but just proposed to the woman who had been the centre of his thoughts ever since he had first laid eyes upon her sitting upon a bench outside his classroom window. And he couldn't help chuckling as he thought,if someone had told me then that I would marry her one day, I would have laughed in their face.
And in the next breath, he thought,what if her father denies me?Suddenly his father's laughing at him for wishing to go into medicine instead of business seemed much more logical. Would a duke really accept a man who wished to be a doctor as his son-in-law? The alternative didn't bear thinking about, and he quickly tried to push all anxious thoughts away as he headed back inside alone, fighting the urge to look for Lady Daisy once more.
Chapter 23
The next morning, although the ball had run quite late, Daisy found herself up well before dawn. Too excited at the prospect of Philip coming to speak to her father, likely proposing to her directly after, she found it next to impossible to sleep.
By the time her maid arrived to help her dress, she was already halfway there, and with a little help to tie the lacings of her favourite lemon-yellow day gown, she was prepared for whatever might come. Or at least, that was what she thought.
Barely able to eat for excitement, she forced her breakfast down and then spent most of the morning in the front drawing room, reading and sewing and even writing a few letters of correspondence, all the while glancing out of the Oxford townhouse windows to look upon the street and see Philip coming.
Yet he never did. By the time luncheon came around and Daisy was forced to share refreshments with her stepmother and Bertha, she was struggling to sit still. A part of her wanted to go to Philip’s house, concerned that something terrible might have happened to him. Instead, she remained where she was, feeling her stepmother watching her more and more closely with every hour passing hour.
“Are you well, daughter?” Lady Balfour asked during luncheon, her teacup clinking on the saucer she held delicately in her hand. She gazed over the lip of her cup, looking quite concerned. Daisy cringed at her words and forced a smile.
“Yes, sister, you are awfully quiet today,” Bertha said, nibbling on a ginger biscuit.
“I am well,” Daisy assured them, and for the rest of luncheon, she remained quiet, returning to the drawing room shortly after to write a letter to Philip, hoping he might respond on why he had not yet come. She sat there having written it, wondering whether she ought even to send it.Will it make me look desperate?she wondered, debating what was worse, looking desperate or never figuring out what had happened.
It was then, as she stood up from the desk and moved to the window to look out for him again, that Bertha arrived. The younger girl glanced over her shoulder as she entered, looking as though she wished for a moment alone. Daisy held her breath; perhaps Bertha had just witnessed Philip’s arrival. Perhaps she had come to tell her that he had been taken directly before their father.
Instead, Bertha clicked the drawing room door carefully closed and joined her at the window. “Daisy, who are you looking for? I was not aware you had a study session today.”
“I do not,” Daisy admitted, averting her gaze because she could not bear the way her little stepsister looked at her with such concern.
“Then why are you at this window pining like a golden retriever?” Bertha asked, her arms folding over her chest and her eyebrow raised as if she meant to remain right where she was until she got some answers. “Has something happened with Philip?”
You might say that,Daisy thought, remembering the night before when she had practically been ready to lift her skirts and allow him to claim her as his own in both body and soul. Yet Philip’s lack of showing up left Daisy feeling quite uneasy, and she quickly decided it was best not to look foolish.
Whether she trusted Bertha or not, she wasn’t sure she could tell her stepsister anything, not after the way Lady Balfour had been watching her at luncheon. Even now, she felt as though the walls had eyes. Though she knew she was probably being paranoid, she couldn’t bring herself to admit the truth out loud, and so instead, she lied, “I was just debating going for a walk.”
Bertha did not look entirely convinced, but she did not argue. Instead, she smiled and suggested, “I could do with getting out of this stuffy old house too. Might we go together?”
And so they did, and so they returned, still with no sign that Philip had been while they were gone. Nor did he materialise later that day, and by dinner time, Daisy felt as though she could barely sit still with anticipation. By the time she crawled into bed that night, she was so wound up that she knew she would not be able to sleep a wink.
For three days after the ball, everything remained the same. Daisy grew more and more determined that Philip had abandoned her. Though she sent letters and even passed by his father’s residence during her afternoon walks with Bertha, she did not see hide nor hair of the earl’s handsome second son.
By the fourth day, Daisy was so exhausted and devastated that she could barely bring herself to do anything. After all that had happened the night of the ball, after all they had promised each other, she would never have imagined that Philip could change his mind so quickly.
She thought that he might have at least arrived the morning after the ball to see her, to tell her that he still wished to marry her, but he wished to court her properly and in public beforehand. That, she could have dealt with; that, she would have accepted. But this was beyond understanding. This was painful and mind numbing, and no matter how she tried to spin it in her head, nothing felt quite right.
Philip would not abandon me,she told herself firmly, though with each passing day, she found it harder and harder to continue to believe.He will come!
