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And everyone knew being a spinster was a fate worse than death for a young lady.
Marianne’s face tightened. She could argue with her mother that sometimes she simply didn’t care if she remained a spinster forever, but that would only further distress the older lady. And Mama really was trying to do the best by her.
A widow for many years, her mother wanted to see her well settled. Also, it was a promise she had made to Marianne’s father on his deathbed that their beloved only child would find the ultimate happiness, and that she would do her very best to secure it.
I wonder what it would have been like married to the one who left me, she thought suddenly. I wonder where he is now.
As soon as the thought entered her mind, she banished it. It had been years. There was no point in thinking this way any longer, ruminating over the past, remembering what it had been like to be young and in love, delirious with happiness. She had tried so hard to put it behind her and was still trying.
“I am very well aware of it all, Mama,” she said, in a voice sharper than she intended. “Fanny, shall we go? We do need to get your aunt along the way.”
Fanny nodded, looking relieved. She stood up. “Yes, let us go, dearest. I have decided I do want to purchase that new bonnet in Collin’s millinery shop window. Perhaps Aunt Petunia and I could go there while you are at your fitting?”
Marianne smiled. “Perfect. Let us away. We shall see you very soon, Mama.”
She walked over to her mother, pecking her on the cheek. Her mother would have loved to play chaperone on this outing, of course, but her rheumatism was playing up today, as it often did in the colder weather, so Fanny’s aunt was filling in.
Miss Petunia Harding only lived a street away in Acton-on-Rye and enjoyed outings with her niece and friends. They were planning to walk the short distance into town and pick up Fanny’s Aunt Petunia along the way.
Her mother rested a hand lovingly on her daughter’s face, gazing up at her. “Take your time, my darling. Have some tea and scones in the tearooms after your fitting, if time allows.”
Marianne frowned slightly. “We cannot afford such luxuries, Mama. The gown is costing more than I would prefer already …”
Mrs Windham sighed. “Tea and scones are not going to break the budget, Marianne. Please, enjoy your outing.”
Marianne bit her lip but didn’t contradict her. There was no point. Her mother was still determined that she act the part of the affluent young lady around town, so no one would suspect the somewhat dire financial situation they were in since her father’s passing. A charade, of course, but it made Mama happy.
Her heart shifted slightly. She knew she should be pragmatic and try to secure this match with Mr Russell for her mother’s sake and her own. Richard Russell was very wealthy. He owned a sprawling country property on the outskirts of Acton-on-Rye. He would make sure her mother was well taken care of.
It might not be such a hardship, she thought. She liked Richard very much. He was clever, well-read, a very good conversationalist. Being married to him would not be odious at all. They might have a very pleasant life together.
But you do not love him, Marianne. Not in the way you loved the one who is gone.
She ignored the small, insistent voice in her head. She no longer trusted it. It had led her astray too many times. It had made her reject three suitors in the five years since. It had made her heart bleed too much.
Yes, she would encourage Richard Russell. She simply must. He was far and away the best suitor. He was a charming man, and it truly would be no hardship. And she needed to look after her mother. Many people married for convenience, after all. Why couldn’t she?
***
Marianne linked arms with Fanny as they meandered into town, just behind Aunt Petunia, who insisted upon striding ahead. Fanny’s aunt was very sprightly for just shy of sixty.
“I am sorry about Mama,” she mumbled. “Her talk of marriage for me is relentless.”
Fanny laughed. “You do not need to apologise my sweet friend. She is only trying to do the best by you, as my mother does for me also. They start to get alarmed when their daughters are not safely matched by our age.”
Marianne sighed. “I know. And the Lord knows I realise the precarious financial situation we have been in since Papa passed two years ago. Even though we have the house for perpetuity, the annual income he left us was small. Idoneed to secure a good match for her sake.”
Fanny turned to gaze at her solemnly. “But what about you, Marianne? Could you marry Mr Russell and be happy?” She hesitated. “After all that has happened in the past?”
Marianne bit her lip. Fanny knew all about her misguided love affair five years ago. She had cried on Fanny’s shoulder about it for months afterwards. And Fanny loathed the gentleman responsible for her broken heart even more than she did.
They rarely talked about it now, though. As if by mutual agreement, they didn’t speak of thatgentlemanat all. But that had become easier as she hadn’t seen him for years now. He was no longer on the local social circuit; she didn’t bump into him at all. A blessing, for it would only have ripped open her heart anew every time she saw him.
“I think I could be happy,” she replied in a hesitant voice. “Mr Russell is amiable. He is clever. He reads widely, and we can talk for a long time about books. In short, he is everything that I need to be happy. As well as being so financially secure, of course.”
Fanny frowned slightly. “You sound as if you are discussing the merits of a new parasol, dearest. It does not sound like he makes your heart sing.”
“Many people marry for convenience, Fanny,” she sighed. “You know it. Love matches are rare in our world. And we are not getting any younger. My mother is my responsibility now.” She paused. “You know Edmund does not give a deuce about our lives anymore. His wife makes very sure of that.” She couldn’t keep the note of bitterness out of her voice as she thought about her older brother and his wife, Helena.
