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Chapter 3
Kennedy
I flopped backon the couch.The ring from the phone call I was making echoed through my earbuds as I crossed my ankles over the armrest and cradled the phone on my chest.
Liam answered.“Did you shower today?”
Laughter burst out of me.“I just did.Want to know why?”
“Because your water heater’s working.”
I grimaced, but my smile didn’t fade.“Too soon.”
The water heater was brand new.Bruce had replaced it last year after I had ignored having no hot water—thus not taking showers—and then conveniently ignored the musty smell rising from the basement, thanks to the leaky water heater.
“Umm…” His rumble through the earbuds was more intimate than when I cradled the phone against my ear.“As long as the answer isn’t because you haven’t showered since I left for Williston, hit me.”
He’d been gone for two and a half weeks.My conversation could wait until he got home.Should wait.But messaging back and forth with him was making me antsy.I wanted to hear his voice.
I grinned at the popcorn ceiling.“I started cleaning out the garage.”
“You never use the garage.Why would you clean it?”The curiosity in his tone was nicer than the abject surprise I’d expected when he found out that I had chosen to tackle a big project.I wished I could explain this concept to Bruce, that I wanted him to be a part of my life, not take it over, but it was easier to ignore his attempts than to risk hurt feelings from a misunderstanding.Bruce and Willow were grieving, and I didn’t want to add to their stress.
But I had to deal with the stress of their “helpful” advice, and the garage was my target.It was a stand-alone building behind the house that opened to the alley and was more a shelter than a usable building.It was full of items discarded by all the previous owners.An old lawn mower.Half-busted garden gnomes.Rakes, shovels, hoes, all with broken handles.Barely wide enough to fit a car decently, it was too uncomfortable to park in it and then wrestle with the heavy door.
“I’m cleaning because there’s probably nothing in it that I need to fix.”Mostly true.“It’s a dump and it’s going to stay a dump.But I’ll start there and move to the house, and maybe do some of the repairs in here myself.”
He whistled.“Kenny gonna get herself an HGTV show.”
“You might be surprised.”I giggled.I didn’t plan to tell anyone else.Derek’s parents would offer to do the work themselves.In addition to the water heater and the consequential carpet removal in the basement, replacing the garbage disposal, and lawn care, Bruce had put in a new ceiling fan in the living room and snaked out the bathtub drain in the last year.Not to mention how he’d swooped in to arrange my finances when I’d let a few too many bill payments slip at the worst of my breakdown.He’d have no problem letting himself in while I was at work to fix whatever I mentioned was broken; it was what he’d been doing all along.
My mom would tell me not to do too much too soon.She had a hard time seeing me as anything more than the sick teenager that had turned into a mourning widow.My sister was over me and my drama.And my coworkers didn’t understand.They were either single and already doing it all themselves, or married and had at least moral support.
I’d been with Derek since I was a junior in high school.He’d been a year older than me and had gone to college an hour away in Bismarck during my senior year, but he’d spent every free moment with me.I’d gone to the same college and stayed in the dorms.We married right after I got my degree.The world would witness me moving on, going back to work, and—maybe someday—dating again.It didn’t need to see me trying to live on my own for the first time in my life.
“Nah,” Liam drawled.“I won’t be surprised by what you can do.”
Warmth, like a cozy fire on a cold night, spread through my gut, but it kept going until I was flushed.Heat pooled in my belly and I squirmed, trying to find a more comfortable position.
Was it that time of the month?My periods were always sporadic.I didn’t know if it was from my illness as a kid or another problem.I fanned my face.I had called Liam for more than compliments.“Hey, I was hanging out with Grandma Gin and the boys while you were gone.”
His deep laugh stoked the heat.“They told me, believe me.I think you’re a superhero in their eyes.”
Easter was weeks ago, but we had colored eggs and did an egg hunt anyway.I put money and candy in the eggs and didn’t hide them in any gimme spots.The kids had had tosearch.“I had as much fun as them.”
I tried to be at peace with the quiet nights at home.But I was torn.Sometimes it felt like I was using Liam’s kids to get me through my healing process until I could cope on my own.I was pretty sure it was more than that, though.I loved being around them, and they didn’t feel the need to do anything more than spend time with me.
I’d grown up with Mom fluttering around me, worrying about the constant pain I was in from chronic Lyme disease, how tired I was.Fretting over whether the next doctor we saw would believe I was more than a drama-prone young lady.I had slept while my older sister did my share of our chores.
I’d met Derek shortly after I started treatment.He’d given me massages.He’d carried my backpack in high school, and then had carried in the groceries after we were married.I’d been coddled by everyone in my life.
I hadn’t realized how dependent I was until I wanted to do a project by myself and faced well-intentioned concern from my mother or found that Bruce had already done it.
The last thing I wanted was to seem ungrateful.At least, that was until I thought about the phone call with Willow and the way she expressed her concern that Liam wasn’t a stable presence in my life.To top it off, I’d been brave enough to mention to Bruce that I’d like to mow my lawn, only to come home from work last Friday to find it done.My chest was heavy, like I was getting smothered, a feeling I wasn’t used to.
I was capable, dammit.Which was why I called Liam.“I’m actually calling for a reason.”
“Aw, Kenny.You never need a reason to call.”
