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I looked exactly like I’d lied to him about taking a shower, while Liam was dressed in worn jeans that hugged his muscular thighs and an olive-green, long-sleeved, waffle-patterned shirt that his biceps managed to flex through.He definitely looked showered.
He stepped inside and took off his navy-blue Coal Haven Drillers ball cap and hung it on the welded “The Barrons” sign that he’d made for Derek and me as a wedding gift.
“Gonna tell me what you’re really doing?”
I huffed a hunk of hair out of my face.It barely moved.“How did you—?Never mind.Fine,” I stressed the word around a playful scowl.
I considered making up something, telling him I was finally working in the basement after it had needed to be gutted last year, and staying away from my bedroom, but this was Liam.He didn’t plow into my life and take over.I trusted him.
Before I lost my nerve, I spun and went to the bedroom.He stayed on my heels through the small living room and the narrow hallway.The house was over fifty years old, built by a couple who’d moved in after decades on their farm.The style reflected it.Small rooms crammed into minimal square footage.The master bedroom was master only in that it had a few more square feet than the other one on the main level.
I entered my bedroom and stood by the bed.I went to cross my arms but ended up hugging myself.“I thought it was time.”
Liam’s chiseled jaw flexed.He ran a hand through his hat hair and ruffled it enough to give his hard edges a boyish softness.He took a moment to inhale and slowly let it out.Moments like these reminded me that he was mourning the loss of his best friend, not just helping me cope with the loss of my husband.“Are you sure?”
“A few tips I learned from my online support group were to give myself permission to keep whatever I want.I have a tote bin.”I nodded toward the blue Rubbermaid on the bed.“I also gave myself permission to quit if it was too much.”
“What else did… What is your group’s name again?”
“Sexy, Young, and Widowed.”I was young and widowed.Didn’t exactly feel the sexy part, but reading experiences from others my age was critical.“But I also talked to my therapist during our last session.Both really just say that nothing’s abnormal and I can’t do it wrong.”Which meant I had to do something, and after way too long of doing nothing, I was ready to prove myself, mostly to myself.
Liam and I stared at the pile of shirts and pants on the floor.I’d opened the folding doors, taken a huge armful, and dumped it on the floor.It was easier than undoing the meticulous job Derek had done when he’d hung one article at a time.
I bit my lip.Should I have asked Liam if he wanted to help?Should I ask if he wanted to keep anything?He and Derek had been like brothers.
Liam planted his hands on his lean hips.The stance made his shoulders appear even wider.“I told Grandma Gin I’d get there by four, so I got a couple of hours.What can I do to help?”
Liam
I pushedthe lid down on the blue tote.It wasn’t half full.Kennedy had kept a pair of Derek’s cargo shorts.They were the ones he’d proposed in when they were walking along the Missouri River after a romantic date.Same with the white-collared shirt that sported the logo for the pesticide supplier he’d worked for as a salesman.She’d also kept a pair of his boxers that they’d bought during their honeymoon in the Black Hills—I didn’t want to know what those had signified, a Drillers ball cap he favored, his unused cologne, and a pocket watch that he’d gotten from one of his great-grandfathers.It was probably the Grandpa Barron that had started the town—also my grandpa, but I didn’t care.I considered Bob Pewter my only grandfather.
I hefted the tote.“Want this downstairs?”
She was staring into the empty half of the closet.With my help, she’d been efficient, almost ruthless.I didn’t want to rush her, and if she wanted everything hung back up and put in its spot, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
She worried her plump lower lip with her thumb and forefinger.“I should move my stuff over.”
“There’s no rush.”There was a time I hadn’t thought she’d make it this far in her grief.She’d been lost to all of us.Me.Her mom and sister.Her in-laws.I hadn’t been able to talk to anyone but Grandma Gin about how worried I was.My uncle Bruce liked me less than he had when Derek was alive.He probably hated that he couldn’t blame Derek’s death on me.At first, we’d all thought Derek had had a car accident.He did—after he’d had an aneurysm on some country road where he was going to meet a farmer to talk about pesticide.
All the trouble Derek and I used to get into, and he’d been taken out by a tiny broken blood vessel in his brain while he was working a job we would’ve laughed at as kids.But when two twelve-year-old boys were riding horses through a river that could have and should have swallowed us alive, it wasn’t like we’d thought he’d be a salesman and I’d be a single dad by the time we were each twenty-two.Or that he’d be dead by the time he was twenty-five and I’d be making sure his widow took care of herself so I didn’t have to bury another friend.
I drank in the sight of Kenny.She had always been attractive.When she’d shown up as a new junior on the first day of my senior year, I’d plotted my approach.But Derek had swooped in, and I’d been friend-zoned ever since.
Her creamy skin was regaining a healthy glow.Her face could summon a blush now instead of remaining perma-pale.And her hips—those were good to see again.For months, she had wasted away.Short of sitting on her and forcing donuts past her lips, I hadn’t known what to do.She had barely talked, but I was grateful she’d at least answered the door.
Today was a big deal.She knew it.I knew it.And when I had called home, Grandma Gin had known it.She’d told me to come home when I thought Kenny was okay.The boys had earned a movie for picking up their room and sweeping the kitchen.I missed them.I wanted to get home to them.But for Kenny, I’d wait a little longer.
“Yeah,” Kenny finally said.“I think I did enough for the day.”
“I think you earned dinner out.With me.You’re a lucky lady.”
She laughed, her head dipping back and baring her slender throat.“I would be the envy of all the single women in the county, but I don’t feel like peopling right now.”
I wasn’t interested in any single women in the county.Those who knew about my past and that I was the mighty Cameron Barron’s greatest shame either wanted to fuck me because of it or wanted to fuck me and ditch me.I didn’t come with the Cameron Barron bank accounts.None of the oil money he’d inherited from his parents or that he had accumulated as the CEO of the refinery would come to me, nor would any of the profits from the large ranches he and his siblings ran.And that was okay.I wanted nothing to do with Cameron Barron or any of the rest of the family.
Derek had been the only one worth my time, and he was gone.“I can pick up some pizza.”
She slanted her gaze to me, her warm brown eyes questioning.“You need to get home.”
