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“We aren’t hiding.”We’d gone to the lake.Her mom and Benji had come over.And we’d pretended to be platonic.No hand-holding.No public kisses.We didn’t even hug.We might not be hiding, but we were acting like something we weren’t, which wasn’t how I lived my life.
“It’s complicated,” I finally said.
“Never claimed it wasn’t.”She finished one last stir and pushed the bowl away.“I want you happy, Liam.You’ve worked really hard these last few years.You’re providing for two kids, for me—don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing there—and you’ve built a second business based on word of mouth about your talent.A partner would see that.A real partner, who cares about you, wouldn’t want to hide you.She’d want to show you off.You shouldn’t be a secret.”
My mouth went dry.My mom had been a secret, and what happened to her was directly related to that.Grandma Gin was scared for me.Worried.“This isn’t like Mom and Cameron.”
“No,” Grandma Gin huffed.“I’d have a lot more opinions about that.I know Kenny’s on a journey not many of us have weathered, and she’s doing it so young.But, Liam, this isn’t like you and Derek either.That kid didn’t care what anyone said.You were family.He didn’t care who knew it.I respected him for it.But he also let you take the blame when the stupid shit you both did was his idea.When you being Liam Barron was convenient, he was okay with it.I don’t want that for you again.”
Defensiveness for my friend rose.“It wouldn’t have done any good to tell anyone any different.”
“You can let others do what’s best for them, but when it comes at the cost of hurting you?Just remember, it’s okay to do what’s best for you too.All right?”
“All right.”I wasn’t going to argue with her.She’d said what she needed to say, and maybe she could feel better.Lighter.
As for me, I thought about myself all the time, and it was hard not to see how much it cost the ones I loved to be associated with me.
Kennedy
After two anda half agonizingly long weeks of painting and job searching, I had finally gotten my week away.Laney had given me a ride to Dickinson.Liam had picked me up from there and driven back to Williston.Dickinson was too close to Coal Haven for us to be comfortable.We’d gotten a hotel with a restaurant attached in Williston and spent our time there.He’d even coaxed me into the hot tub.
The next two days had flown by.He’d taken me out to the site where he’d worked.The countryside was dotted with wells, but other than getting a tour of town and where he worked and going out to eat, we’d stayed at the hotel.Stayed lost in each other’s bodies.
And we’d celebrated.
Last week, Hattie’s friend from the mine near Washburn had called Liam.They’d talked for almost an hour, and by the time the call was over, the job had been offered to Liam.It’d be a commute, but regular shifts and steady pay.
Now we were driving back to reality.We’d lingered until checkout, had a quick lunch, and hit the road.He had an arm casually draped over the wheel and the lock of hair that fell over his brow gave him a devil-may-care appeal.
Everything was falling into place for him, and it made me beam brighter than the sun to witness it.Being with him for three full days only cemented how I felt about him.I hadn’t brought myself to tell him.Doing it in Williston hadn’t been personal enough since it was a place where we were getting away from it all.
I’d do it.Soon.At his place.Telling him how I felt at his house had a sense of rightness I couldn’t shake.My nerves liked the delay.I couldn’t lie to myself about that.I hadn’t been an instigator in my last relationship, but things were different with Liam.I was different with Liam, and I liked myself this way.
I watched the scenery scroll by.Softly rolling hills interrupted by random buttes so much taller.Some were flatter on top than others.I could imagine Eli and Owen scaling the sides, determined to get to the highest spot.We passed fields.If the crop wasn’t corn or sunflowers, I had to ask Liam.He’d name canola or soybeans or barley.Pastures interspersed the fields.Cattle grazed.
So peaceful.
I’d been lulled into thinking that since there wasn’t much going on in my life, I didn’t deserve time to myself.Three days, and I felt like I knew who this Kennedy Barron was.I’d been with Liam the whole time, but that’d always been the lure of him.I could be myself around him.
My phone buzzed and kept going.“Must be Mom.”I glanced at the screen and froze.It was Bruce.It buzzed as I stared.
Liam glanced over.His brow lifted when he saw who it was, but he turned his gaze to the road.
The ringing stopped.“Shit.I should’ve answered.”
My phone vibrated again, and I hit answer before I froze again.“Hey, Bruce.Sorry I didn’t answer in time earlier.”
“Kennedy, where are you?Are you okay?”
A sense of déjà vu hit me, and Liam gave me the same look he’d given me when my mom had called in a panic while I was at the lake.“Everything’s fine.Why?”
“You’re not answering, and I talked to your neighbor.She said your car’s been parked in the same spot for days.I didn’t want to worry your mom again.Where are you?Are you at home?”
I stared out the windshield in front of me.“I went out of town.”
“Without your car?”
“I’m with a friend.”
