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Eleven
Laney
“Holy shi-it, you’ve started something, girl.” Ma tossed the bag of cattle mineral onto the pallet in the shed. I’d backed the pickup to the door so we could unload. She took a drag off her vape pen and blew out a gusty cloud of strawberry-scented smoke. “Jocelyn at the diner asked if Archer quit talking to his daddy like his daddy did to his siblings. Then old Earl, you know, Elsie’s grandpa?” She described Earl each time by referencing an old high school frenemy. Elsie had left for college and came back once every five years with her three kids. She might have been a delightful adult, but it wasn’t like Elsie and I talked any more.
“Yes, I know who Earl is.” The drone of the riding lawn mower was muffled as Archer rumbled behind the house. Papa had commented on how he was missing good fishing weather. Archer had hopped on the John Deere, and Papa had grabbed his pole and tackle box and sped away.
“Well, he says that Stetson and Cameron are having some kind of standoff. That Stetson’s all buddy-buddy with your hubby, and his daddy ain’t having it.”
It’d been two days since Stetson had stopped by our table at Rattler’s. “No one knows anything, Ma.”
“They know you and Archer are married, but he’s staying at the motel. Imagine all the reasons they’re coming up with.” She shrugged. “Whatever. Kane never had the town gossiping about him like that.”
She knew full well Kane had given the town enough gossip. She might have wanted to forget the attempted suicide, but that didn’t change reality.
I yanked a bag of mineral from the back of the pickup and hauled it to the pallet. I’d gone to town early to load up. I hadn’t expected Ma to help me. Did she want to talk to me about something other than what Earl had said?
Did I want her to talk to me about something? By the time Ma chewed over a topic, she’d lost her patience and her tact.
“When are you moving back to Dallas?”
I stayed at the edge of the pallet, thankful I had dropped my load before she sprang that question on me. I might’ve stumbled and twisted an ankle. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you and your hubby seem to be getting on just fine. It’s not like he can move into the house with you.”
I folded my arms and braced my legs. Those were not the reasons why Ma had asked.
Ma took a drag off her pen. “Kane told me yesterday that he wants to move.”
“Oh.” He hadn’t mentioned when he was going to tell her. I had planned on going with him to his next therapy appointment, but he’d messaged me and said he wanted to get used to going alone. Had he gotten a job sooner than expected?
I shook my head. He was doing what he needed to do for himself, and he didn’t need me to do it. Good for him. “What does me going back to Dallas have to do with Kane moving?”
Ma swung her arm out to where Archer was on the mower. “With you and him here, what’s Kane got to do?”
“Kane doesn’t wantto doanything.” I tried not to look at Ma like she was speaking a made-up language, but damn. Kane hadn’t touched anything ranch-related since that night. The therapist supported his decision. No one expected Kane to go back to the job that had made him miserable.
Why couldn’t Ma accept that her precious firstborn boy did not want to carry on the legacy of the Diamond UU, nor should he be expected to? Why couldn’t Ma accept that I wanted to?
“He just needs a little more time, and with you and city boy over there doing all the work, Kane doesn’t feel needed.”
“Maybe Kane is finally at peace with leaving,” I said more gently than I intended.
“He’ll come around. Ain’t nothing in Fargo for him.”
Other than a multitude of jobs and social outlets he hadn’t had access to his entire life, no. Nothing there for him.
“Ma, going to school is what helped him recover. Now he wants a job. Not this.”
“He recovered just fine. He’s bored, that’s all, not being able to ranch.”
I ground my teeth together as I stared at her. How could she be so willfully oblivious? Kane’s head trauma had kept him from helping around the ranch for a while, but it’d been a year and a half. I’d run as much interference as possible to keep him from feeling chained to Coal Haven. I’d taken over his ranch duties. I’d buffered him from Ma and her ingrained expectations. I’d arranged our finances so he could start school and take a double load.
He wanted to move so he could meet new people and find a job he enjoyed. I wanted to find him, give him a big hug, and let him know I’d help him with anything. And I had the feeling he didn’t need me to. He was venturing out on his own without me. Without Ma.
I needed to channel Ma and be firmer with her. “He doesn’t want this for a career. He couldn’t have made that much clearer.”
“We all go through that phase.” How badly could she minimize this? Ma ignored my incredulous stare and clucked her tongue. “Of course, we don’t all—” Her throat worked, and her eyes misted over.
