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I got out of the Ranger as he drove away and walked to the house. I let the smile break through, not even dreading a bologna sandwich, when Ma banged out the front door. Portia trotted out after her.
She glowered at the empty driveway. “How long is he staying?”
“Another week and a half.” He had to drive back, or I would’ve gotten a few more days with him.
“You going with him?”
If Archer asked, I wouldn’t be able to answer him. But I knew what I would do when the time came. “Probably not.”
She cleared her throat. “Why?”
“Because I’m helping you.”
She sank onto the front step. “There ain’t anything for you here, Laney.”
I was so tired of hearing that. There were things here for me—because I had worked for them. I was about to launch into a diatribe about how I had carved out a nice life in Coal Haven, no thanks to her, when I noticed how her shoulders sagged. The dark circles under her eyes amplified her resigned expression.
When we would have this talk before, Ma would be defensive. We’d argue. Nothing would change. What if this wasn’t one of those times?
“This is my home,” I said, a pit forming in my stomach.
“You’re sleeping on an air mattress while your husband is planning to leave town. I’ll give it to him—he stuck it out longer than I thought he would. And what he did with the hay…Maybe I should tell him I appreciate it.” She took a puff off her pen as Portia trotted to the backyard. Even the dog sensed the heaviness of the conversation. “You might as well stick with him as long as it lasts.”
At least she didn’t sound confident that the end of Archer and me was imminent. “The Diamond UU is my home.”
I didn’t get an eye roll. She didn’t let out a frustrated sound. She scrubbed her face with her free hand. “I know you love this place; I really do. But you gotta let it go.”
“Let it go to who, Ma? Kane’s moving. He told you how he felt.”
She met my gaze. “It’s still his.”
I stared at her. Her words rang in my head. “But…”
“Laney. This place has always been his. I know we couldn’t give you much to go to college, but you got to go.”
I’d worked three jobs to pay for tuition and put a roof over my head, but she knew that. I lifted my hands out to the sides and let them drop, slapping the tops of my thighs. “Am I being selfish, Ma? Greedy? Is that what you think?”
“No, you ain’t.” She sniffed and blew out a hard breath. “I know how much you love this place. I wish I loved it as much as you, but I was pushed into it just like Kane. Only child and all that.”
Kane wasn’t an only child, but I didn’t point that out. Discussions that didn’t dissolve in Ma walking off or us yelling at each other were rare. I didn’t know if I’d make progress with her, but I might get a definitive answer. So, I waited to hear what else she had to say.
“Being a Barron doesn’t even sound as bad as it did before.” She squinted at me. “Do you know Naomi walked by me the other day and ignored me? No sneer, nothing.”
“You’re related to royalty now,” I said wryly, and she chuckled.
“I felt like a goddamn queen.” She sniffed again. Ma didn’t have allergies. Was it emotions? “All I have to give is this place, Laney. I’ve dedicated my life to it, and it almost took my son.” She pushed her palm across her nose and sniffled. I didn’t dare move. Ma didn’t cry, so if she broke down, I’d break down, and we’d both fucking hate it. “I owe him something. I have to give him something for what—”
She pushed out a hard breath and buried her head in her hands. Her vape pen stuck out between two fingers. I stood where I was, wringing my hands together. We’d never been in this position. What should I do?
She lifted her head, her face wan. “Anyway, it’s his. Oldest passed down to oldest, the way it’s always been. You can talk to him about managing the place. I know he don’t want to. I’ll stick around. Lord knows it takes two people to run this place, me getting old and all that. He’d pay you.”
I shifted my stance. I wasn’t sure what to think. Ranch manager of the Diamond UU. A family legacy, in a way. One Kane and I would split. He was moving, so the trailer house would be open. I could build up around it. Have my own barn, a small shop, even my own horse pasture.
I should be happy. I had told Ma this was home. She had made room for me when she hadn’t done more than clear the office before.
My small victory felt off. Regardless of who owned Diamond UU, Kane was moving. Ma wasn’t as young as she used to be. Papa had little interest in the place. When he retired, he’d move to full-time hunting and fishing. I was needed at Diamond UU, now more than ever.
I’d gotten my dream, but I was afraid of the price I would be paying for it.
