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Pride swelled in my chest. I’d go with him in a heartbeat if he needed me, but I also needed a moment.
I braced my elbows on my knees and sank my head into my hands. What the hell?
Holden was my kid’s coach. I wasn’t just going to see him today, die a slow death, and never have to see him again. Every Saturday game for the next six weeks, I’d be torn between watching my son and his coach.
He lived in Coal Haven? Why hadn’t that come up when we talked?
I snorted softly. As if I hadn’t been avoiding every scrap of personal information I could. And it wasn’t like we had talked for long before I was leaving the bar with him.
How many kids you got?
His incredulous question continued to ring through my head. “Good one, Emery,” I whispered.
Was I going to have to grin and bear it when I went to get milk and saw Holden with a new girl on his arm? Seeing my husband with the other woman for the first time was a painful, surreal experience, but those emotions had developed a nice callus. Nothing about Holden living his life should bother me. But how many women would I have to see him with before the thought didn’t bother me?
Did the other coach know? Weren’t they cousins?
I had wanted a fresh start. No drama. I’d left plenty behind. I hadn’t even been in town a month and I’d slept with my son’s coach.
Was it possible to cringe to death?
I straightened. It wouldn’t do any good for Landon to come back while I looked like I was having a breakdown. He was a kid; he’d think it was about him or his dad. He’d seen me cry too often when I’d first learned Henry was cheating.
I stared at the door. I didn’t have to wonder what I was going to do. It didn’t matter how many women I saw Holden with. My circumstances didn’t change. I would do what I’d been doing since my divorce. I’d take care of me and my kids.
* * *
Holden
I roamed the waiting room like a caged animal. Em and Landon had been gone nearly half an hour. The players’ parents signed waivers, but I’d feel shitty if Emery was left with a huge medical bill.
Avery was in the corner with Afton, coloring in the books offered. Riley marched around with her no-spill dish of crackers and her cup.
Anxiety clawed through my stomach as I took a halfhearted sip from the lukewarm waiting room coffee. All I had to do was be a responsible adult and make sure they didn’t go out the door.
Shit. Could the little one choke on something?
I had no experience with this, and wasn’t that what I hated dwelling on?
I rolled my neck. Goddammit, I could do this. Hanging out in a room with three kids wasn’t a big ask, but I’d psyched myself out so badly over the years. I was stronger than this. I inhaled slowly and exhaled slower.
Riley dropped a cracker, jabbered, and picked it up. She probably shouldn’t eat off the clinic floor. But before I could decide the cracker was a no-go, she’d popped it into her mouth and happily chewed.
My breath froze as I waited for the world to implode. What could she get sick from? Kids were so fucking fragile. So much could go wrong. But she took a swig from her sippy cup like it was her fifth beer pounder and sidestepped to the next chair.
They were cute kids. I could see Em in them and come up with an idea of what her ex must look like. The underlying solemnness in their expressions was all her, but they must get their curly mahogany hair and doe-brown eyes from their father. Except Riley. Flecks of green made her eyes twinkle, just like her mother’s.
Riley tried to climb onto a chair with her hands still full of her items. Her chubby little legs pedaled for a few seconds before she gave up and tottered around the waiting room. I hovered. I didn’t need another injured kid on my watch.
I finished the coffee and winced. I’d tasted worse, but not by much. After throwing away the cup, I stuffed my hands in my pockets. A woman in purple scrubs popped out of the back room to speak to the young guy working registration.
I did a double take, then resisted the urge to squat behind Riley as if she could hide me.
The nurse glanced up. “Holden?”
I wanted to groan like Landon had on the field. “Krystal, hey.”
Krystal and Stetson had been hot and heavy. Then she’d gotten possessive and demanding, leaving Stetson with an ultimatum: marry me, or I’m leaving.
