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Emery
After the scary guy joined us, Holden grew noticeably quieter, but I didn’t think it had to do with Colt. Our food arrived, and my steak Alfredo was everything he’d said it would be. I had found my new favorite dish in the world, and it was one I didn’t have to cook. When I told him that, I barely got a grunt in return.
My excitement from earlier had faded, leaving a dull ache in my chest. The reason for his change was me. Had he realized there’s nothing special about me? That there was no reason to waste his time maneuvering around my many obstacles?
I dug into my food and let myself drown in their conversation. Hurt feelings weren’t going to stop me from enjoying a meal out, especially when I was paying for it.
A couple of women sidled up to the table. Holden visibly tensed as one of them rested a proprietary hand on the back of his chair as she greeted everyone. I took a drink of water to force down the jealousy that had no place in this night. This wasn’t a date, and I was old enough to know that Holden was a single guy in a small town. Our pickup interlude wasn’t an isolated event, and this woman he called Holls was gorgeous in her western jeans and nice boots. She had more in common with Holden than I did.
The other woman, who Stetson greeted as Sienna, took an empty chair by him, andHollstook the open spot next to Holden. There were two open seats between me and Colt, but he must not be the one either woman was after.
Was this a thing? These guys sat at this big table and the women just came to them?
I was so far out of my element. I dug back into my food, an ear on the conversation I could’ve tuned totally out. None of it had to do with me, and no one was going out of their way to include me.
I should have felt more upset, a little righteous even. But with each uninterrupted bite, I swallowed more relief.
My hands had shaken with nerves as I got ready for tonight. I’d argued with myself about how I shouldn’t be anxious, this wasn’t a date, but also why didn’t I have something nicer to wear? I hadn’t dated since college. Henry was the last guy who’d taken me on a date, and look how that turned out.
As I’d driven here, nerves had cramped my stomach so hard I thought I’d have to stop on the side of the road and do some Lamaze breathing to get through the rest of the three-minute trip.
Walking into the restaurant had been the ultimate test of my nerves. I’d bagged patients to keep air flowing into their lungs until the doctor could intubate and ventilate them. I’d talked families through end-of-life procedures, and I’d pumped on chests during code blues in the hospital when it was all hands on deck to get a patient’s heart restarted. But walking into Rattler’s to meet Holden had almost made me run.
And for what?
A guy who was chatting with another woman, someone he’d probably slept with. A guy who’d made me wish this was a real date and immediately reminded me of the reasons why I shouldn’t date.
I polished off my food, wishing I could bring the kids here as a treat. I’d taken a giant pay cut at the clinic in exchange for no shift work and a less intense work atmosphere. I might not have to pay for day care, thanks to Mom’s help and the size of the town, but I’d gotten financially screwed in the marriage and in the divorce.
I took two twenties out, enough to cover the meal and my drink and leave a nice tip. I didn’t want to ask for the check and then wait and wonder if the server knew to split the tab. I placed the money by my plate.
When I glanced up, Colt was watching me. He was a quiet person. His presence alone was intimidating. But once I looked into his fathomless eyes, I knew he was an observer. He’d seen the one-eighty Holden pulled, and he knew I was withdrawing my stakes from this game. It was the approval in his eyes that bolstered my confidence.
I gave him a small smile. “It was nice to meet you,” I said quietly.
As I rose, Holden turned toward me. “Are you leaving?”
I squashed the flare of anger and bit back my sarcasticYa think?He was the one who’d invited me and then promptly forgotten me. But I managed a light “Yes. Have a good night.”
I tipped my head toward Stetson. His half grin was reminiscent of the approving gleam in Colt’s gaze.
From their reactions, I guessed women didn’t ditch Holden too often, and I’d done it twice.
I breezed out of the restaurant. I was looking forward to getting into pajama pants and watching a show with Avery. It was getting late, but tomorrow was Saturday. I might let her make popcorn too.
I was sifting through my keys when footsteps approached. Holden slowed next to me. “Em?”
He hadn’t called me Em since that night. I didn’t bother to look at him. “See you at the game tomorrow.” My car was only a few steps ahead.
“Wait.”
The anger I thought I had quashed roared back. I spun. “For what, Holden? So I can watch you flirt with someone else?”
He had the audacity to look confused. “What do you mean? I wasn’t flirting with Holly.”
I held up my hands, my keys dangling from one, and inhaled slowly to calm myself. “You can flirt with who you want. I get that we’re not dating. But it was kind of rude. You know why? I’d like to go out and meet friends, but if I’m just going to be on the fringes while everyone else hooks up, no, thanks. I have four little people at home and my mom who actually like to hang out with me.”
