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She busied herself, finding serving spoons and extra napkins. I couldn’t escape the feeling she was avoiding the subject of her domestic bliss and me. I flipped the pancake and poured another, wondering if she’d ever think the two should go together.
* * *
Emery
I had messaged Henry to double-check that he was actually bringing Landon to the game. I let him know I’d be there so he could speak now or forever hold his peace about sitting in the stands with me.
Parking in the lot, I scanned for Henry’s red Suburban, but couldn’t find it. The game wasn’t going to start for twenty minutes, but the coaches usually wanted the kids there early. There was time, but that didn’t stop the anxiety-churning acid in my stomach.
I got out and grabbed my fleece jacket. Holden’s pickup was parked next to Stetson’s.
Shaking my head, I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked to the bleachers. That man had stamina. He’d gotten up earlier than me, made breakfast, and then while I did dishes, he’d gone home to do chores, whatever that entailed. Now he was back to coach, and then he’d go work all day.
I was ready for a nap.
I wasn’t used to such a late, strenuous night. At all. My sex life with Henry hadn’t been that enthusiastic. And it wasn’t like I could look back on it and think that Henry failed in the bedroom or that I’d been the issue. The difference was Holden. He attacked sex with the same unquestioning determination he did everything else in life. When he committed to something, he stuck it out.
That thought rang around my head.When he committed.
While he was cooking, he’d made that comment about how he’d like to wake up to me and the kids, and I hadn’t known what to do.
It’d been a year since I’d caught Henry cheating. Six months since I’d been divorced. Two months since I’d moved to Coal Haven. I’d gone from a relationship I had expected to last until the grave, to heartbroken and wondering what was wrong with me, to determination that I would be fine, to acceptance thatsingle, hardworking momwas my identity.
Not only had I lost my partner, but Henry had been clear he was done with me. It had felt like he’d gone out of his way to show me that I was on my own, from requesting only every other weekend with the kids, to getting his lawyer to carve away at the child support with an obsidian scalpel.
The idea of fitting another man into my haphazardly pieced-together life left me in a tailspin. My pulse kicked up and I wanted to run. I couldn’t get my hopes up only for them to fall out of the sky like last year’s fireworks.
Holden had tried to cover his hurt, but he’d been quieter through breakfast while I’d shoveled his pillowy pancakes into my mouth to keep from dipping back into the subject. And he made awesome pancakes. And homemade fucking syrup.
A girl could get used to that.
Wasn’t that the issue?
“Mom?” I spun even though there were kids all over calling for their parents.
Landon rushed up to me.
“Hey.” I hugged him, glad he’d made it. “Good luck today.”
He ran off, and I spotted Henry. Riley clung to him, and Afton and Avery trailed behind him. I looked around but didn’t see Jenni.
“Do you have gloves for the girls?” he asked when he reached me, sounding harried and stressed. “I think Afton left hers at home.”
“Sure. You guys go sit, and I’ll gather whatever’s in my car.” It wasn’t like I could, or wanted, to clean my car every week. Most of the year, I could outfit half the football team in winter weather gear from what the kids left behind on the floor.
I found two pairs, along with my own. That was enough for all the girls. I grabbed the extra hat I found. The sun was rising higher in the sky, but the wind this time of year cut through the clothing. Before I shut the door, I yanked out a blanket.
Henry and the girls were sitting in the same spot I had first chosen. Thanks to the chilly morning, the stands were sparser than they had been at the rest of the games. I met them and was stripped of hats and gloves. I spread the blanket out, and when all was settled, I was next to Henry.
“Jenni didn’t want to come?” I kept my tone pleasant. Part of me was curious in a petty sort of way. The other part wanted to make polite conversation. It was better for the kids if the adults could get along.
“No. I thought I’d keep the girls at home since it’s kind of chilly, but…she’s busy.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smirking. Busy. There was more to the story, but I’d rather she wasn’t alone with the girls anyway. “Thank you for bringing Landon.”
“The drive is a pain.”
I wished fixing Henry’s cranky attitude was as easy as giving him a Snickers bar, but when he got like this, he could stay in a funk all day. The reality of the mundane parts of life was a downer compared to his day job.
