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“Once,” he said between clenched teeth. “I did it once. How long has Holden been a fuckboy?”
I glanced around, making sure Henry’s words hadn’t been heard. The girls huddled over the snacks, and the bleachers around us were clear. “What upsets you the most? That I’ve moved on? That I’m unrepentant about it? That he’s successful and handsome? Or that I’m not letting you push me around in a relationship you have no business in?”
“Em—”
“No, Henry. You keep trying to exert some kind of control over me, to insist on some sort of say in my private life, and you use the kids as an excuse. But you lost access to my private life for good when the divorce was final. How often are we going to have this argument?”
His nostrils flared, but he couldn’t raise his voice. I doubted he even had a rebuttal. I’d hit on exactly what he was doing. It was hard to see me move on. He could buy a house with another woman and plan tropical vacations, but I couldn’t do the same.
I ripped my attention off Henry at the same time Holden glanced into the stands. His gaze jumped from me to Henry, and he lifted a brow as if he was asking me if I was okay.
I gave him a tight smile. One of the kids tugged on Holden’s hoodie and he had to turn away. That was fine with me. I wasn’t okay.
I wanted to tell Henry that hell yeah, Holden and I were serious. I wanted to smugly inform him that Holden was giving me everything that Henry had destroyed. Trust. Reliability. Respect. But because of Henry, I was too afraid to want it.
It was hard to concentrate on the rest of the game. I stayed with it enough to clap and cheer when I was supposed to. At the end of the game, I gave the kids hugs goodbye and helped Henry load them up. We hadn’t argued, and he wasn’t snapping at the kids. Overall, the morning was a success.
By the time I got to my car, Holden was there. He’d finished high-fiving the rest of the team and making sure sweaters and water bottles weren’t left behind.
“Glad Landon made it,” he said.
I nodded. “Yeah. I have to pay by taking them all to Bismarck again next time they stay the weekend, but that’s okay, I guess.” I summoned a smile. “Thanks for coaching today.”
He leaned against the door, his long, lean body on perfect display. “What are you doing tonight?”
My smile turned wan. I wanted another night like last night. Another morning like this morning. I willed myself to say yes. To quit being scared of how a guy could hurt me because of one man.
However, that man had been my husband and the father of my children. Holden was neither, but he was sweeping me away faster than Henry had in college.
“Laundry and meal planning. Tomorrow I execute the meals.” I had to bite my tongue to keep from inviting him over, but I needed to get used to being alone.
Disappointment filled his eyes, but he returned my smile. “I can take care of one night by bringing a meal over after practice.”
“You don’t have to.”
He pushed off the car. “I want to. Have a good weekend, Em.”
“You too,” I said weakly as he walked away.
I got behind the wheel and slumped. Why hadn’t I invited him over again? Laundry could last long past wild sex years. But I didn’t have to worry about laundry leaving me.
