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We’d get there eventually. I hoped.
I stripped inside the bathroom and tossed my clothes in a pile. With the water on, I waited for it to heat up and stared at the ceramic tile. I wanted Emery to feel at home here. I wanted the kids to feel at home here.
Was I in love?
It’d been so long. I had thought I loved Teagan. What I had felt for her had been far beyond what I had felt for my high school girlfriend. But what I felt for Emery was growing beyond what I had with Teagan.
Maybe the stress of Teagan’s pregnancy overrode the memories of the emotions. The excitement. The optimism. The obligation. That was what our relationship had dissolved to. Defending her to Mom. The stress of expecting when we hadn’t discussed much about marriage. The heart-wrenching angst of the pregnancy. And afterward, I was left with a sense of abandonment.
Had I not loved Teagan? Was that why I hadn’t fought for us? Had I known that after our daughter was gone, there would be nothing left between us but memories?
I didn’t want to be that guy again, checked out and unwilling to admit it. But with Emery, there was a sense of safety. She shared her thoughts and fears with me. I wanted to do the same with her. But I also wanted the good times.
I walked into the shower and scrubbed off. Dirty water swirled around the drain. I didn’t waste my time with shaving. I had a sexy woman with an overnight bag under my roof.
The warm spray was hitting my face, rinsing away the last of the shampoo, when there was a tentative knock at the door. “Can I come in?”
I froze, stunned for a moment. She couldn’t be doing what I thought she was doing. I’d had fantasies about this. “Absolutely. Is something wrong?”
She slipped in and shut the door behind her as if we weren’t the only two living beings in the house. “Nothing’s wrong. Just thought I’d join you.”
I kept the water on and leaned against the shower wall. Blood quickly rerouted to my groin as I watched her hesitantly look around. Emery might have been nervous, but she was determined.
I liked that I brought out her fearless side. Had she suppressed it because of her ex? Or had life gotten in the way and I reminded her that she could be herself, not just a mom or a nurse, with me?
Whatever the reason, she stripped down as I watched her through the shower door.
When I built this house, I’d wanted an open concept, something opposite of the closed-off old farmhouse I’d grown up in. In my house, the living room flowed into the kitchen, and both rooms flowed into the dining room. The tub and shower were separate, and the shower wasn’t closed off from the rest of the bathroom. The ceramic tile space had a large panel door that was completely see-through.
Perfect for watching Emery bare every inch of her skin.
She didn’t toss her clothes like she was desperate to get under the spray with me. She laid each piece neatly on the counter. Same with her pants and underwear, topping the pile with her socks.
She lifted her gaze to me, and while I didn’t like the insecurity in her clear green eyes, I didn’t move. I let her watch me soak in her body. Like those full breasts she was unsure of. I would never know how perky they once were, and I didn’t care. They were her tits, and I got to taste and touch them.
My erection grew harder the longer I looked at her lush curves.
She had referred to a part of her stomach as a pooch before, but I couldn’t see what she disliked. She had a mature, curvy body that cradled mine perfectly. She had flesh and muscle that would protect her while I leveraged myself against the tile and pounded into her against the wall behind me.
I crooked my finger and beckoned her to me. “Come here.”
A smile played over her lips, but her gaze darted around like she wanted to reverse the last couple of minutes and get dressed. The foggy haze from the warm water gathered, masking my view.
“Em, get in this shower with me.”
She lurched forward like she’d been pushed. I steadied myself, worried she had tripped on the gray mat under her feet. She made it to the door and let herself in. Finally.
Tension radiated from her body. I knew one way to relax her, but I began by turning her into the cascade of water. I took the bar of natural soap that Nora got me for my birthday and lathered it up in my hands. I wasn’t a bodywash guy, but if I were, then Emery would smell like me and I didn’t want to cover her peaches-and-cream scent.
I started at her shoulders, kneading tense muscles, and worked my way down her back.
Her head dropped against my neck, and she moaned. “I haven’t had a back massage in forever.”
In an instant, I changed everything I’d planned. This moment called for restraint. I wasn’t dropping to my knees and licking her until her cries echoed off the walls. I wasn’t pounding into her until I came so hard I had to worry about my feet slipping out from under me.
I lathered up more and continued to rub her down until she was boneless and pliant. When I shut the water off, her surprised gaze jumped to mine.
“Two things,” I said, interpreting the question in her eyes. “One, I wanted to give you that long-overdue massage. And two, regrettably, as much as I want to sink into you here, I don’t want the septic system to back up from all the water.”
