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Those three dances weighed on her. A token of her involvement, a sign meant for the two of them.
But did Caroline see it the same way?
Her heart was thudding, and it wasn’t from the dancing.
“We aren’t meant for this life anymore, are we?” Arabella asked.
Caroline stiffened and pulled away. “I amnottoo proud, despite what you said before—I assure you—”
“No, no. I mean thatwearen’t the same anymore. We aren’t the same girls we once were, or the women who used to come out here on the last Thursday of every month for dancing.”
“No one stays the same forever.”
They didn’t, but somehow the events of this summer felt like the sands shifting during the tides in triple time.
“I suppose they don’t,” was all she said, and she summoned a smile. “Shall we see if Fred is ready to escort us home? Shall we go back to your rooms for the night?”
Caroline’s smile was sweet, and it filled her heart up enough to get her through the walk home and to slip between Caroline’s linen sheets and make love to her with every emotion she had.
But she felt sad and lost and unsure as she lay awake long after Caroline had fallen asleep, looking up through the window at the fathomless night sky and the patch of winking stars.
Chapter Twenty-one
Jacob’s face was drawn and ashy, as haggard as if he hadn’t slept a wink of the two weeks that he had stayed in London. He sank into the armchair, slouching down as if he could hide behind the starched points of his collar.
Caroline felt a flutter of anxiety in her chest. “How bad is it, Jacob?”
He slumped even further. “It isn’t good.” He scowled. “You don’t have to say it. I know I’m a damned fool.”
“You are,” she agreed, and touched his knee. “But you’re still my brother. And I shall stand with you.”
“I don’t deserve it.”
“Well, out with it,” she said briskly. “Tell me everything, and we shall put our heads together.”
He took out a cheroot and twisted it in his hands, frowning down at it. “I was deep in my cups at the housewarming party. I oughtn’t have had so much brandy—but I’ve never had a problem to hold my own at the end of a night’s carousing with the lads. These fellows at the party not only drank deep, though, but they played deep. I wanted to show that I could too, especially as a man in my own house. I hardly knew what I was doing, but I spent everything in my pockets—and I had already taken out more from the bank than I should have.”
“How much?”
“The most that the Inverley bank would allow me to withdraw was three hundred pounds.” He swallowed. “I lost it all.”
Before the inheritance, that would have gone a long way to support the Reeves. Caroline felt sick at the thought of wasting it onthe flick of a wrist at cards, but she held her tongue. There was no use heaping blame when he was already so miserable.
“But I kept playing. I should have known better, but I thought I could win it back. I was too drunk, too befuddled to pay attention.”
“How much did you lose?”
“Forty thousand.”
Caroline reeled in shock. “Forty thousand pounds?”
“I talked to the bankers, and to a solicitor, and they agree that I am honor bound to pay my debts. I am of age, after all. I must take my responsibility.”
“But that’s almost everything you have.”
Caroline could hardly believe what she was hearing. She gripped the arm of her chair to steady herself. They had already sold the house on Belvoir Lane, and although she had set aside funds to pay the rents on the townhouse, that money would run out by the end of the summer.
All of their hard work to improve their situation in life, all of their plans for the future, were gone in the snap of a finger.
