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But that wasn’t possible. So instead he’d try to be a fun friend.
Arriving next to her, he placed the bags down and retrieved the newly purchased tartan picnic blanket, shaking it out with a theatrical flourish.
‘I have come laden with food and drink, so I hope you’re hungry.’
She rose to her feet and gave an exaggerated wince. ‘I am definitely ravenous—and muscles I never knew existed ache! This looks incredible.’
Minutes later they had unpacked olives and bread, cold meats—presunto and paio, which the lady in the shop had explained to be smoked ham and smoked pork loin—a selection of cheese and some sardine pâté. Batatas fritas—chips—and pastries completed the spread.
Zander poured the wine and raised his glass. ‘What shall we drink to?’
‘To today. It’s been amazing. I’m still buzzing.’
‘Me, too.’
The feel of the sun on his skin, the cold salt spray of the water, the challenge of trying to master the surfboard and the waves had brought a surge of adrenaline that differed from the thrill of work, the buzz of a business deal. But, more than that, he’d felt pride in Gabby, in the way she’d faced, tackled and taken down her fears.
‘Would you do it again?’
Her face clouded a little as she took a contemplative bite of a gleaming black olive. ‘I don’t know. Today feels like stolen time in some ways—as though it wasn’t real. Wasn’t me. Those feelings when I swam in the sea, when I caught the wave... Exhilaration doesn’t do it justice as a description. There was that total sense of freedom, and for a transient second feeling in control of nature. I felt invincible.’
‘A natural high?’ Not the right words; he knew that immediately as her eyes dimmed in the evening light.
‘I hadn’t thought of it like that.’ The idea clearly troubled her.
He frowned. ‘There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a great feeling.’
‘That gets harder to achieve each time you seek it.’ Her voice soft now. ‘To start with, it’s something small, and then that’s not enough any more, so you need more and more to get that high. I’d have to swim the Channel, surf the most dangerous coast. And that’s not me—I’m happy I managed to catch a wave. I think I’ll stop there.’ She spread some pâté on bread. ‘What about you?’ Her smile held a hint of sadness. ‘Have you changed your mind? Are you going to set your sights on becoming a champion surfer?’
‘No. I loved it, but I really don’t have time to surf regularly.’ Though now, sitting there, he felt a sudden uncharacteristic regret strike and had to remind himself. ‘I get a buzz, a natural high, from success—from winning a deal, helping a client to succeed. I’ll stick to that.’
‘But, like I said, each time that goal becomes harder, and you need to achieve more to get that buzz. Surely in the end nothing will satisfy that craving except global domination?’
‘You make ambition sound like an addiction. Maybe it is—but not a destructive one. Yes, I would like to achieve global success—I don’t think that’s a problem.’ Not any more. But it had been once. His ambition had shown up the flaws his relationship with Claudia, but it would never be a problem again—he would never hurt anyone again—he’d make sure of that. ‘I love my job and I am proud of my company. For me ambition, moving the goalposts, is a good thing. Else you stagnate.’
‘Being content with what you have is not stagnation. I am happy with where I am, with what I have. I couldn’t keep up with your level of ambition, your drive to succeed.’
Further confirmation that relationships and ambition didn’t mix. ‘We all have different contentment levels and different motivations.’
‘That’s true. And I’m sorry—I truly didn’t mean to criticise your achievements. Your success is phenomenal.’ A sudden smile illuminated her face. ‘Tell me about it. How you did it.’
‘Too dull.’
‘No, it isn’t. I want to know.’
Her voice sounded sincere, her enormous hazel eyes were focused on his face, and he figured, Why not?
‘I wanted to succeed, but I also wanted to help other people set up their own businesses. Anyone. Not just people with expensive college backgrounds and loads of money. Anyone with an idea and the drive to achieve it. I’d been working in a bank. I went straight there after A levels.’
A levels had been incredibly hard for him and his learning curve as he’d tried to figure out dyslexia and a whole new world of study. But he’d got straight As—an achievement he still felt proud about.
‘I decided university wasn’t for me. And, given Claudia and I were already engaged, work seemed a sensible option.’
‘Do you regret not going to university?’
‘I’m not sure. I don’t think it has impacted my life dramatically, but I would have liked the opportunity to spend three years studying something I felt passionate about. But at the time it seemed like a step too far.’
She nodded in understanding. ‘So what happened next?’
