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‘I would. That’s the point I’m making. This marriage can only work if we’re both happy with its parameters and our expectations. There is no point getting married for the sake of our child if what he or she witnesses is anger or misery. And...’ He gave a rueful shrug. ‘And I don’t want you to be angry or unhappy.’
‘Ditto.’
‘I truly believe we can make this work. Arranged marriages have worked throughout the centuries. Unions based on something other than love.’ He leant back as if to give her space. ‘So what do you think?’
What did she think? This was her chance to give her baby everything she’d ever wanted as a child. In truth she wouldn’t have cared if her parents had loved each other or not as long as they had seemed happy; she had wanted love, a family life, a home and security. Her child would have all those things if she married Zander. So really it was a no-brainer. She had to try or she’d always regret it.
She just had to ignore that voice in her head that still argued...
‘I think we should do it. So I suppose the next step is to share the news.’
‘Agreed. I’ll tell my family.’
‘And I’ll tell Gran.’
The next day
Bath, Lucille’s house
Telling her gran had been much harder than Gabby had anticipated. At first Lucille had been genuinely thrilled about the baby, and definitely happy that Zander wanted to be part of the baby’s life, but then Gabby had gone on. ‘And we’ve decided to get married!’
For reasons she couldn’t quite understand, her voice had come out overbright, high and squeaky, and her arms had, of their own volition, lifted to cross her chest.
‘Why?’
There was no judgement in Lucille’s voice, but worry clouded the blue eyes that just seconds ago had been bright with joy.
‘Because we feel it’s the best thing for the baby. He or she will have both parents under one roof, won’t have to move from house to house and will have a proper family life. It will work around Zander’s work ethos, maximise his time with the baby, and I’ll be giving the baby a family. If anything happens to me, he’ll have them. The Grosvenors.’ She came to a stop, searched her gran’s face for approval that wasn’t there. ‘I don’t have a choice.’
‘There is always a choice.’
‘Then I believe this is the right one. This baby deserves to have what you and Gramps gave me. A family—that is what is most important.’
‘But you are important, too.’
‘I know that. And if I loathed Zander, of course I wouldn’t do this. But we like each other, we have mutual respect and he is a good man. I’ll have a good life.’
‘A good life—but will it be the best life you can have? It’s your life. You only get one.’
‘Yes. But I have to do what’s best for my child—that is paramount.’
Her grandmother looked troubled. ‘Of course your child comes first. But I don’t think it’s necessary to sacrifice your life.’
‘It’s hardly a sacrifice.’
Lucille sipped her tea. ‘But it is. You are twenty-nine years old and you and Zander are making a decision to give up on love, never to have a marriage like I had with Gramps.’
‘But I may never meet my Mr Right.’
‘This way you definitely won’t. Instead you will be making a commitment to a loveless marriage—in sickness and in health, for better and for worse.’
The words and their solemnity rang around the room, and Gabby scrabbled to scoop up the seed of doubt before it could take root.
‘What if your child knows you got married only for him or her?’ Lucille continued. ‘That you would have preferred not to? That’s a burden for a child. I always worried when you were young that you thought your grandfather and I took you out of duty.’
Gabby closed her eyes. She had thought that, and it had been a horrible feeling—a precursor to guilt and self-reproach.
‘We didn’t. We took you because we loved you. Our biggest fear was that we wouldn’t be allowed to keep you.’
