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seventeen
For the first time since Captain Dorsey had died, Tabitha slept all night. She didn’t wake in cold sweats, her head echoing with the sound of the explosion. She didn’t feel paralyzed, watching a blank canvas fill with blood. She didn’t get the sensation of her skin crawling, then jolt awake, heart in her throat, lungs on fire. She didn’t wake up with Trinity on her chest, forearms draped over her shoulder. This morning, when Tabitha woke, the sun splashed a circular pattern of beams over her blue comforter and Trinity was in her dog bed, fast asleep.
Tabitha stretched, her muscles loose and hungry. A glance at her phone revealed she’d have little time to get ready if she wanted to make the morning workout, which her body was begging to do. She jumped out of bed and pulled on some shorts and a tank top, took Trinity on a walk to do her business, ignored Auntie El’s snarky comments on her unexpected energy level, and was off to the gym before Auntie could even throw out a clue to this morning’s crossword.
The gym was busy that morning, with multiple programs running. Rhett was doing a class in Spanish and Hobbs was by the whiteboard when Tabitha streaked in, with a minute to spare. Clementine, who was smaller than everyone, peeked through the crowd and waved. Tabitha waved back and got Trinity settled next to Humphrey, who sniffed the air and then started thumping his tail. He shrank from Tabitha’s attempt to pet him, but when Trinity started licking his face he leaned into it and wagged his tail even harder.
“Let’s go, Tabby!” Hobbs called, his good-natured grin pointed in her direction. “We’re ready to roll!”
“Want me to punch him?” Delaney’s voice came from over her shoulder.
Tabitha turned to see that she hadn’t been the last one in, as Delaney followed her to the group in front of the whiteboard. “No, it’s okay,” Tabitha whispered. As soon as she’d seen Hobbs was coaching that day her insides had grown oddly warm, giving even more energy to her already eager muscles. “He’s not so bad after all. I sort of had an episode on the Fourth of the July and he was really nice about it.”
Delaney’s eyebrows knitted, but she said no more. Tabitha settled in next to Clementine, who gave her a smile as Hobbs started the class intro. Looked like the workout was going to have a lot of running, and Tabitha was even happier now that she’d come early. The temperature outside was already in the high eighties with 80 percent humidity and would be brutal by this afternoon.
“Running,” Clementine hissed. “Yesssss.”
“But also overhead squats,” Tabitha pointed out. “Ughhh.”
“I know, right?” Clementine gave an exaggerated shiver.
“You’re in a good mood,” Delaney said, once they started warming up.
“I got that massage you made me schedule,” Tabitha admitted. “Thanks for that. Constance was amazing. I mean, I don’t really remember much of the massage, but it was like—” Tabitha thought back to yesterday’s time on the table “—she knew exactly how much pressure to give the sore muscles versus the not so sore ones and also how to get me to relax and...” Tabitha trailed off. She shrugged. It was a mystery to her, but who was she to question mysteries?
“Say no more,” Delaney agreed, nodding.
The rest of the class was a blur of trying to run without dying—“Breathe, Tabitha, breathe!” Clementine kept shouting—and attempting overhead squats with no more than a PVC pipe and Hobbs constantly at her side, jovially telling her to keep her chest up and her heels down. Delaney kicked the crap out of everyone but Rhett, who had her on the running but couldn’t keep up with her overhead squats. They finished about dead even. Clementine, despite her short stride, could almost outrun Rhett, but her overhead squats were only a little better than Tabitha’s. Tabitha was pretty sure she only beat the seventy-year-old grandma, who scaled all of her runs and did regular squats, but she wasn’t complaining. When she was done, Tabitha felt even better than she had when she woke this morning. She sat inside the open bay with her water bottle and basked in the sun. Her body was worn-out in a good way, her mind was open and full of the blue sky, and she had some new friends who accepted her for who she was—what they knew of her, anyway.
“Great job, Tab.” Clementine appeared in the doorway and gave her a fist bump.
“Thanks. You, too.” Even as Tabitha spoke, her gaze drifted to Hobbs, a few feet away, inside a circle of really fit women who were neglecting cleaning up their equipment to listen to whatever story he was telling, gestures broad as his smile. The morning light showed off his tanned skin and made his blond hair look like he spent every day at the beach, getting loved on by the sun and the sea. He was only missing a whistle and a tank top with Lifeguard printed across the front.
“What about you, Clementine?” Hobbs caught sight of them nearby. “What do you do for a living?”
“I own a running shop,” Clementine said. “Run Like Hell, over on Madison.”
Hobbs pointed at her and grinned. “No surprise there. You’re clearly all about the miles.”
“Yeah. I’m here to get a few days of strength training in every week to supplement.”
“Awesome.” Hobbs nodded. “You’re doing great so far. I can see where you’re struggling with some hip and hamstring mobility, from all the running and no lifting. But you’ll slowly fix that as you build muscle and get comfortable in positions you’re not used to. Like overhead squats.” He winked, which was definitely flirty without being creepy.
“Ain’t that the truth.” Clementine laughed at herself and pantomimed falling flat on her face.
“What about you, Tabby?” Hobbs turned to her. His easy charm changed, though it was hard for Tabitha to pinpoint how. He wasn’t less warm, just retracted somehow. Kind of like how the older brother’s best friend acts toward the little sister. “What do you do in your other life?” Hobbs held up a hand. “Wait. Don’t tell me.” He leaned back and appraised her. “Librarian.” Then he changed his mind. “Teacher.” He changed it again, his choices rapid-fire and leaving Tabitha no time to argue. “Accountant.”
“I’m actually not anything right now.” Tabitha wished she had something to say in this moment, but she wasn’t ready to tell anyone that she couldn’t even stock shelves in the grocery store without losing her shit. “When I was in the navy, I was a chaplain’s assistant.”
“Oh, how interesting.” Clementine’s voice was bright. “That sounds really important. Good for you, Tab.”
Hobbs grew thoughtful, less talkative. His smile changed, as did his eyes, like he withdrew even further. Tabitha was left feeling a little hollowed out, even after her amazing sleep. This was how guys like him always acted around women like her. Party Animal Hot Guy didn’t know how to be around Religious Librarian Accountant. No surprise there.
“Are you planning on doing something in that field? As a civilian?” Clementine pressed the bottom of her foot against the side of the wall and leaned into it, stretching her calf.
“Umm.” Tabitha suddenly didn’t feel so light and airy. Her stomach grew tight. “I don’t think so.”
A crease formed between Hobbs’s eyebrows.
