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VIVIAN
Viv walked home just as fast as her legs could carry her, a part of her hoping Cillian would catch up to her and the other part praying he didn’t. She knew that dropping the bombshell that she was pregnant might end in an ugly argument, but Cillian had all but told her to get lost after she shared her news. She was just as shocked as he was by the positive pregnancy test, but she had a couple of weeks to absorb the fact that she was going to be a mom.
She was so careful, making sure she took her pill every day, but her doctor told her that she was that magical one percent that got pregnant on the pill. Just her fucking luck! She was ready to call it a day, she was so tired. She got home and didn’t bother to even take off her jacket, running up to their room and locking herself inside. If he wanted to treat her like shit, he could just sleep in the spare room because there was no way she would let him into their bed tonight—not after he pushed her away like that.
Viv stripped and started the shower, letting the water run hot before stepping into the spray. She cupped her barely noticeable baby bump and sighed. “Looks like it’s just you and me, kid,” she whispered. When the doctor told her the results from her blood work, she had to have him repeat them. She had gone in for a little cold that had her feeling run down. He decided to run some blood work, never telling her that he was including a pregnancy test.
At first, she thought about aborting the baby and not even telling Cillian. She wasn’t quite ready to be a mom and their relationship was still so new, she didn’t know how it would even work. Her track record in the relationship department wasn’t the best. She already had one failed marriage that ended in divorce. How was she supposed to make this thing work with a man she barely knew and take care of a new baby? But the more she thought about terminating the pregnancy, the more she knew she’d never be able to go through with it. This baby was hers and letting him or her go wasn’t an option.
Viv heard the front door slam closed and she knew Cillian had followed her back to her house. She finished her shower and shut off the water, wrapping a towel around her body. Cillian tried the doorknob and when he realized it was locked, he banged on the bedroom door, making her jump.
“Let me in, Viv,” he growled. “We need to talk.”
Viv laughed at the irony of his statement. Those very words are what started this whole mess today. “I’m good, Cillian,” she said. “I think we both just need some time to cool off and think things through.”
“Please, Viv,” he shouted through the door. “I acted like an ass and I want another chance to make things right. Just open the door.”
“I think you were pretty clear back at my diner, Cillian. You have a dream of what your future is going to look like and this baby and I aren’t a part of your vision. You deserve some happiness, Cillian. This wasn’t supposed to happen but it did and it’s not your fault.”
Cillian fiddled with the doorknob and she heard it pop when he unlocked it. Viv knew her time for hiding was over. He smirked in at her, looking her body over. Cillian’s gaze heated, reminding her that she was still just wearing a towel. She pulled it tighter around her body and he shook his head at her.
“I can’t talk to you through the door, honey,” he said. Cillian grabbed her robe from the back of the bathroom door and helped her into it. “I also can’t talk to you when you’re standing in front of me wet and naked. But make no mistake, Viv—we will be talking this out.”
“There’s nothing more to say,” she said.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Baby. There’s everything left to say. I acted like an ass and I’m so sorry. You just caught me off guard and I needed a few minutes to catch up. You’ve had a couple of weeks to figure this all out but I just heard the news today.” He pulled her down to sit next to him on the bed and she had to admit, having him close made her relax a little. Viv wasn’t sure why that was. She had never really been around another person who made her feel so at ease. Her ex-husband never made her feel the way Cillian did and that scared the hell out of her. Her ex’s cheating nearly destroyed her. What she felt for Cillian was so much more.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I found out,” Viv whispered. She shivered and Cillian wrapped his arm around her, tugging her against his body. “I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do about the baby and I didn’t want to tell you about him or her until I could decide.”
“What do you mean, do about it?” he asked.
“I mean that I considered an abortion but when it came right down to it, I knew I’d never be able to go through with it. I want this baby, Cillian. If you don’t, that’s fine. I can make it on my own. I’ve gotten pretty good at being alone since my divorce,” Viv said.
Cillian stilled beside her and she groaned, wanting to inwardly kick herself for her verbal diarrhea. They hadn’t discussed her dating and sex life. Hell, it was a topic Cillian seemed to avoid. Viv knew about his past, for the most part. He admitted that he hadn’t been with a woman for the past ten years and she didn’t need for him to account for his sex life before going into prison. Viv was happy being left in the dark when it came to Cillian’s ex’s but from the look on his face, he didn’t feel the same way.
“You wanna run that by me again, Viv?” he asked. “You were married?”
“Yes,” she grumbled. Viv stood to pace the floor, needing some space from Cillian’s warm body. “I was young and stupid. God, I was so fucking naive. I thought he loved me, but our whole marriage was a complete lie. He used me—I was safe and convenient for him. He fucked every other woman in his life, including my best friend and his secretary. Although, I didn’t find out about him and Mel, my now ex-bestie, until a few months after our divorce was final. It was poetic really, the way he waited until they were secretly married and just back from their honeymoon, to tell me that they were not only together but had been throughout our whole marriage. She was my Maid of Honor for shit's sake,” Viv growled. “That bitch was sleeping with him the whole time we were married and I had no clue. That was my fault though.”
“How can your husband being a douche be your fault?” Cillian asked.
“Because I was stupid enough to forgive him after I caught his ass cheating the first time. I came home early from the diner one day to find Jason in bed with the town whore. He convinced me that she meant nothing to him and that he just slipped up. We went to counseling together and I even forgave him, like the fool I was.”
“You’re not a fool, Vivian. You’re a kind, forgiving woman—but not a fool.” Cillian stood to look at her and she hid her face in her hands.
“I thought we were good until I walked into his office and found his secretary on her knees, under his desk, giving him a blow job. I left there, packed up all his shit and threw him the fuck out. I was done. I filed for divorce and it was easily granted. I thought I was over all of that but dating proved me wrong. I had major trust issues and even went to therapy again, to work on them. I never really trusted any man that I was with, after Jason,” she admitted.
“Oh,” Cillian breathed.
“Until you,” she whispered. It was the truth. Until she met Cillian, Viv had flitted in and out of relationships, never willing to hear the guy out if she had even an inkling of doubt that he was on the up and up.
“You can trust me, Viv,” Cillian said. He framed her body with his hands, hesitant to touch her. He acted almost as if he was waiting for her to push him away or deny him. That wouldn’t happen. Viv needed Cillian, whether she wanted to or not, but she wouldn’t force him to be a part of her or their baby’s lives.
“I know, Cillian,” she whispered. “But, me trusting you doesn’t mean that you are obligated to be a part of our baby’s life. I understand if you don’t trust me after I’ve kept the truth from you. I just needed time to figure everything out,” she admitted.
“I get that,” he said. “I just wish you would have told me sooner. Two weeks is a long time to know something and not share it. Especially when it could change the other person’s life so dramatically.”
“I know,” she murmured.
