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"What happened with Victoria?"
"She disappeared at a concert."
"When?"
"Years ago. We all feel responsible. She was our baby…"
"You can't protect everyone."
"I know. I just—I bought her those tickets, Rissa. Me. The big brother who always spoiled her."
"It's not your fault."
She waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't. He'd been like this since they'd gotten up this morning. Was he having second thoughts? She wouldn't blame him if he did—she had a few doubts herself that this marriage was the right thing to do.
"Have you changed your mind about our wedding?" she asked.
He fiddled with the radio dial, tuning in a rock station. "No."
He turned the volume up and Three Doors Down sang about being Superman. She tried to relax against the leather seat, but she couldn't. She tried to tell herself that this marriage wasn't their kryptonite, but it felt like it.
She tried to tell herself it was the fact that she was leaving the Southeast, something she'd never done before. She tried to tell herself it was the fact that she'd left Peter with her soon-to-be in-laws. She tried to pretend it had absolutely nothing to do with the man sitting next to her.
"I've never been out of Georgia, really. I mean, I've been to Hilton Head, but that's practically Georgia, it's so close."
He didn't turn the volume down or even glance her way. She remembered last night when he'd put her hand on the top of his thigh. "You're rambling."
"Yes, I am. I wonder why?" she asked. She wanted to touch him again. Even though they had an early flight, he'd still taken time to go for a run this morning. His legs were muscled and solid. Her fingers tingled with the remembered feel of his leg under her touch.
"Nervous?" he suggested.
"I wasn't until you started acting like some darned robot this morning."
"Robot?" His tone was disinterested. He'd practically ignored her at his parents' house.
"Listen, Jake, I'm not in the mood to play word games with you. If this is what our married life is going to be like I don't think we should go through with it."
He turned the radio off and removed his sunglasses, glancing over at her. There was something unreadable in his eyes that warned her that he was not in a pleasant mood. "It's too late for that."
"No, it's not."
He didn't say anything else and Larissa knew she should have remembered the lesson she'd learned a long time ago. That she couldn't really depend on anyone but herself. Despite what he said, she knew her shoulders were strong enough to carry the burden of single-parenthood. She wanted to take Peter and her grandfather's Bayliner and take to the sea. They would find a place where the two of them could live together—maybe an island somewhere.
But she knew her son wasn't going to be happy leaving behind his new family. And Larissa could never live without her son.
"I don't want to live my mother's life, Jake," she said quietly.
"You don't have any family to disown you," he said.
Nice of him to point that out. She wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged tightly. "I have Peter."
"We have Peter," he said.
"We don't have anything except a media blitz between us."
He cursed under his breath. One of his less flattering habits was that tendency of his to curse when she made him mad. She made a mental note to lecture him on that at a later time.
He pulled the car to the side of the road and turned to face her. "I'm not sure what you want from me."
"Courtesy would be a nice start."
"I'm not being rude."
"Well, I don't understand these one-word answers."
"I can't be your best buddy, Larissa."
"Why not?"
"Because we're living together and I want that to be real. And you don't."
"It's not that I don't want it to be real."
"Then what is it?"
"What if I start believing this is real and you decide that I'm not the right woman for you to spend your life with."
"I'm not that flaky, Rissa. I know my mind."
"Right now you think you do because of Peter."
"Woman, are you trying to drive me insane?"
"No, I'm not. I just don't want to end up like my mom did."
"Alone?"
"Yeah, alone."
"Where was your dad?"
She took a deep breath and looked into Jake's eyes. There was no way she wanted to get into this conversation with him. But she wasn't prepared to spend the rest of her life or the rest of the weekend with Jake while he gave her the cold shoulder.
Taking a deep breath, she said, "I don't have one."
Eight
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