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Turning her head, she looked at him as if he were crazy. “What?”
Nodding, he said, “It helped me understand.” He shrugged. “Everything. I mean…it doesn’t make up for a lifetime of stuff that he put me and my family through, but this last time? Uh…yeah. I hate to admit it, but he made the right call. I wish he would have just been honest with us, but I guess he was protecting your privacy.”
She snorted and turned her attention back to the water. “Great. And then he went and shared my whole miserable life story anyway.”
“Savannah…”
“You’ll have to excuse me if I’m not all overflowing with gratitude that you feel better, Jackson.”
“Okay, fair enough. But…I don’t see what was wrong with what he shared. It was all relevant and helped me to understand why it was so important for him to go back to Seattle. And I know my brothers are going to feel the same way too.”
She groaned. “Great. More people knowing all the personal aspects of my life. Super.”
They sat in silence and for the life of her, she really just wished he’d go.
But he didn’t. He simply sat there beside her and, even though she had no idea what was going on in his mind, she had to admit she was mildly curious.
“Why are you even here?” she forced herself to ask. “I mean…my issue was with Cash and he knows I would’ve just come down here and blown off steam and then gone right back home because I hate the thought of him eating dinner by himself.” She shook her head. “When left to his own devices, he eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and says it’s a perfectly acceptable dinner.”
Beside her, Jackson shrugged. “I don’t see anything wrong with it.”
She glared at him. “Like father, like son.”
Now it was his turn to glare. “Cheap shot.”
And for some reason, that made her laugh.
Hard.
Fortunately, he found some amusement in the situation too and started laughing with her. So there they sat, side by side, laughing uncontrollably until she felt like she couldn’t breathe. And when she finally caught her breath, she looked at him and smiled. “God, that felt good. There hasn’t really been a reason to laugh for a really long time, so…thank you.”
His smile was equally genuine. “Believe it or not, it’s kind of been the same for me. My circumstances aren’t nearly as traumatic as everything you’ve been through—and you have to know that I am truly sorry for all of your losses, Savannah—but my life and my situation have left me depressed too. That’s why I’m hiding out here in a buddy’s apartment rather than going home to my family.”
“At least you have a family to go home to once you work through everything,” she said solemnly. “You have no idea how lucky you are.” Turning away, she needed a moment to collect herself and hated how they had gone from laughing back to this melancholy place again.
Ugh…
She was startled when Jackson rested his hand on hers and she looked at him questioningly.
“About an hour ago, I would have argued with anyone who told me how lucky I was where my family was concerned. Most of the time I don’t have an issue, but lately—with this whole medical discharge thing—I’ve looked at them as an obstacle. It’s why I’m here and not there with them.” He sighed and gently squeezed her hand. “But after talking to Cash and learning more about you—and, in some part, him—I can see that I’m taking them all for granted.”
In some way, she figured he was trying to make her feel better, but…it wasn’t. At the end of the day, he still had everything and she had nothing.
Not even her privacy, so…
Slowly, she pulled her hand free. “Then you shouldn’t be sitting here on the beach with me,” she told him. “You should call them and tell them where you are and what you’re struggling with. And then…you should tell them about Cash. The sooner you all sit down together, the better I’ll feel about…you know…leaving.”
“Wait…leaving? When?” His brows furrowed.
“Um…when he…you know…when he passes. Maybe. I’d like to stay here to say goodbye, but I certainly don’t want to upset anyone. After all, you’re all his family and I’m not, so…”
“That’s bullshit,” he said firmly. “You’re family. Cash’s family. The two of you are close and even though you’re not…um…biologically related, it’s obvious that you’re like a daughter to him, Savannah. No one’s going to tell you that you can’t be here with him until the end. I won’t allow anyone to tell you that.”
She smiled sadly. “While I appreciate that, we’ll really just have to wait and see. I’ve already caused enough stress within your family.”
“Not intentionally,” he corrected. “Losing your father wasn’t something you planned and…Cash could have handled things better.” With a mirthless laugh, he added, “There are a ton of things Cash could have handled better throughout his life. This was just one more thing.” Sighing, he took her hand in his again. “It had nothing to do with you and I really am sorry for the things I said earlier. I was…it was a shock and confusing and you’ll probably learn soon enough that I sometimes speak before I think.”
“Then I think it’s only fair to warn you I tend to run rather than get confrontational,” she admitted with a small laugh. “I’m not comfortable with this entire situation and my coming here with Cash was more about making sure he was okay than wanting to get involved with what he was going through with all of you. Sadly, he’s all I have left and I’m a little protective of him. I can’t make all of you forgive him or love him or even like him. But when he comes home at the end of the day, I need to know that he’s not alone. He always did the same for me; it’s only right that I’m here to do that for him.”
