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And the serene yet smug smile he was giving her confirmed it.
“Yesterday I noticed you and Grace sitting and talking,” he began casually. “And you want to know what else I noticed?”
“Not really, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” she said with just a hint of sass.
“I saw longing on both of your faces. And you know something? I think the two of you need each other.”
That…wasn’t what she was expecting at all.
“How…? I mean…why…I don’t understand. That makes little sense.”
He used the remote to sit up in bed a little more. “Grace always wanted a girl,” he explained. “Always. Not that she didn’t love the boys and wasn’t thrilled with each of them, but…after Jackson was born, I knew she was going to want to try for a fourth in hopes of us having a girl.” Shrugging, he went on. “Believe me, we tried. A lot.”
“Ugh…TMI, Cash…”
Grinning, he went on. “Anyway, obviously that never happened for us and when I was home the last time, she and I talked about it in one of our many, many conversations.”
It seemed like an odd thing to talk about so many years later, but who was she to judge?
“I reminded her how she was finally getting her daughters now that the boys were getting married. And you know what she said?”
Savannah shook her head.
“She agreed that yes, technically, that was true. The reality was that Mia intimidates her and Emma has a mom who she’s incredibly close to. So basically, it still wasn’t the same as having a daughter.”
Now she saw where this was going.
“But with you? There isn’t another woman alive that I would pick to be a mother for you. Or, if you’re not comfortable with that phrase, then a mother figure, a surrogate mom, I mean, pick one that you’re comfortable with because there isn’t a better mother in the world than Grace. Her capacity to love is endless.”
“Cash, I know what you’re doing, but…”
“But nothing, Savi. I know what you’re planning to do once I’m gone. You’re going to haul tail back to Seattle and for what, huh? What is waiting for you back there? Nothing. Nothing but a lot of terrible memories!”
He coughed and she was instantly on her feet because she hated how he was getting himself so worked up. She rubbed his back and got him some water, and it took several minutes for him to breathe easier. And when he looked up at her, his eyes were shiny with unshed tears.
“I promised your father that I would look after you. That I would take care of you. Neither of us knew I’d be leaving so soon and unable to do it.” He reached for her hand and held it tighter than a man in his condition should have been able to. “This is where I want you to be. This is where I know you’ll be taken care of long after I’m gone. My family is…” Pausing, he groaned. “I never realized just how special they all were. Hell, I’m humbled by the way they’ve all come to see me and how they’ve chosen to embrace me rather than hurl insults or scorn.”
She gave him a weak smile. “I was thinking the same thing when I got here earlier and was looking at all the pictures.”
“There isn’t a better group of people alive, Savannah. Don’t be afraid of it. Don’t run from this. Most people spend their entire lives searching for unconditional love and acceptance. I know I did and the bitch of it was that I had it all along. I wasted more than half of my life searching for something I already had. Don’t make the same mistakes I have. Please. If there is one thing you can learn from me, let it be this.”
“Cash…”
“Jackson loves you,” he interrupted. “That boy is so head over heels in love with you, and he’s a good man. Better than anyone else you’ll find.” He grinned. “And it’s not that I’m biased. I’m not saying it just because he’s my son. I’m saying it because it’s the truth. It’s okay to open you heart up to someone else. Promise me that you’ll think about it.”
As if she’d be able to think about anything else…
“I promise,” she whispered.
He visibly relaxed and rested his head back against the pillow. “There are three things I want you to do once I’m gone.”
“Cash…” she whined.
“Oh, hush. Just listen. First…I want you to actually go to Henderson’s Bakery and pick out something decadent and eat it on the beach. I’m telling you, something like a freshly baked cinnamon roll that you eat while watching the sunrise is almost a religious experience.”
She laughed softly. “Jackson’s been raving about that place a lot.”
“Because he’s a smart man,” he replied with a wink. “Second, I want you to go and order a burger at The Sand Bar. I’m telling you, Savi, I’ve traveled across the entire country and back and never had one as good as theirs.”
