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It was scary, though, because when he’d held Cari in his arms he’d had that soul-deep fear that if he let go of her she might disappear. He knew she wasn’t like him and wouldn’t just walk away like he had, but another part of him feared she would. It would serve him right if she did, but he was praying that he could show her… What?
She was going to need more than sex from him, and he’d never been good at emotions. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told her he’d left that morning after to avoid the messy stuff. Now here he was wanting it…almost. He’d seen the fear in her eyes as she’d dashed into her private washroom. Carrying DJ tucked against his chest and seeing those sleepy brown eyes watching him now, Dec felt the weight of his actions.
He almost wondered if he should propose to her. Get her to marry him. And then what? Being married wasn’t going to be a solution to the problems that still existed between them. A marriage license hadn’t been a magical cure-all for his parents’ problems, and he knew better than to suggest that to Cari tonight.
He just had to find the right words to say. And the right way to say them. And then maybe they would be able to move on from here. What he really wanted was to take Cari and DJ to his yacht and then sail off for the horizon. But that was taking running away to the extreme and he couldn’t do that. Not now when he was finally really part of the Montrose legacy.
He wasn’t the outsider he’d always been. And Cari wouldn’t leave her sisters now anyway. He knew that without even asking her.
He paused in the hallway that led to Cari’s office. Saw the awards on the wall and the photos of the staff that were hung there. DJ reached out toward one framed picture and Dec realized it was of Cari, Emma and Jessi with their grandfather. This family was part of his son’s heritage.
At that moment he realized how important it was that he save both hereditary lines for his son. And he had no idea how he was going to do that. Kell wasn’t going to be satisfied if any part of Infinity Games still existed when the takeover was completed.
He shifted the boy to his shoulder and continued down the hall, stopping in the outer office when he heard Cari on the phone. Her exact words weren’t clear.
He rapped on the door before pushing it open and noticed she sat behind her desk with her arms crossed over her chest. He remembered her nakedness and wanted her again. The orgasm he’d had was nice but he knew he wasn’t going to be satisfied until he made her totally his again. Until he’d taken her and claimed her once again for himself.
He needed that. And he hadn’t realized how much until this moment when he saw her defensive posture and realized that while tonight had eased some of his concerns, it had simply heightened hers.
“I guess you are ready to go home?”
“Yes. It’s late and I have an early-morning meeting,” she said. “Besides, DJ needs to be in bed, too.”
“I think his nap helped him,” Dec said.
“You’re right,” she said, reaching for the boy.
Dec dropped a kiss on his son’s head before handing him over to her. “I know.”
She moved around the office, busying herself with getting ready to leave. She slung her laptop case and the diaper bag over one shoulder and then balanced DJ on her hip while reaching for the car seat.
“I’ll get that. In fact, I can carry your bags, too,” he said reaching for them.
But she pushed his hand away. “It’s okay. I can get it all. I’m used to doing it on my own.”
The words weren’t meant to be a jab at him, but he felt it all the same. She was used to doing it on her own because he’d left her. He wondered if her mood had anything to do with the fear that he might do it again. And what kind of reassurance could he give her? Just the fact that he still wanted her. That he had never felt this way before. That if he could, he’d stay with her forever. Even though he usually didn’t think of himself in those terms—forever.
“I think we need to talk.”
“Not tonight,” she said.
“Yes, tonight,” he countered. He reached past her, took the bags from her shoulder and placed them on the table. “I don’t like the way you’re acting.”
“I’m sorry you don’t. I’m not sure how to change it right now.”
“I am,” he said walking back to her.
But she put her hand up. “Stop. Sex isn’t going to fix this.”
“I didn’t think it would. I was going to give you a hug, Cari. I thought you might need some reassurance that this isn’t like the last time.”
“I know it isn’t, Dec. We have a son now.”
