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“Yeah, I guess I know what you mean,” Alysse said, but she wasn’t sure. Jay was still figuring out where he wanted to be.
“You don’t,” India said, but not unkindly. “Why did you two divorce?”
“He left me,” she said. “I know you probably think I’m crazy for trying this again.”
“I don’t judge another person’s heart,” India said. “When Lucien and I have our problems, they are monsters and we fight like it’s the end of the world, but he’s still the man I dream about and I don’t think anyone else will do.”
“I don’t want it to be that way for me,” Alysse admitted. “I’m afraid to fall for Jay until he knows what’s going on with him. I just want something nice and normal like what you and Lucien have.”
“Nothing is nice and normal in love. It’s bold and passionate,” India said. “Can I give you some advice?”
“Sure,” Alysse said.
“Holding back is probably not going to bring you the results you want. Yes, it’s safer to try to wait until he knows what he wants but if you aren’t being honest with yourself and with him, he’s never going to want you. You can’t wait for him to be ready for you, you might not still be together if you don’t go for it now,” India said.
Her words echoed in Alysse’s lonely heart. If Jay was her great romance...if they were truly meant to be together, then holding herself back and trying not to love him, well, that wasn’t going to help her.
She watched Jay weaving his way through the crowd and she saw his face with its familiar lines of tension and stress. But then he smiled when their gazes met and she understood that she could give him something that he’d never had before. Jay had admitted to being abandoned by his mother. Would the only way he was going to feel safe enough to stay with Alysse be if he felt that she would never leave him?
Her hands literally started sweating and she felt a wave of fear wash over her as her stomach dropped. She didn’t know if she could take a huge step like this. She was going to have to put Jay in front of her own dreams of family and happiness and what if this didn’t work out? Could she ever trust a man again?
Jay handed her drink to her as Lucien put his and India’s drinks on the table.
“Come on, baby. Let’s dance,” Lucien said, and India slid out of the booth to follow him.
Alysse took a sip of her drink, waiting for Jay to do the same but he was just staring at her.
“Aly, dance with me?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said. It seemed as if he was reaching out to her in a way he hadn’t before. Today had marked a turning point for both of them. They’d started to let their own guard down. For the first time since she’d woken up alone all those years ago, Alysse felt a tingling near her heart.
“Thank you for today,” he said.
“What did I do?” she asked. Not sure where he was headed with this.
“You made me realize how good life can be when you share it with the right woman.”
She blushed, knowing her happiness was broadcast on her face.
“You’re welcome.”
* * *
THE LAST OF HIS UNEASINESS from Afghanistan faded away as he pulled Alysse into his arms on the dance floor. The music was upbeat and many couples danced with distance between them, but Jay didn’t pay any attention to them. He needed to hold Alysse and to feel that she was still his.
He put his hands on her waist as they swayed together to the music. Lucien had complimented him on being lucky enough to have a woman like Alysse in his life and Jay had been quiet. He had never believed in luck.
No unseen force had ever been looking out for him. He’d managed to get to where he was today by determination and sheer force of will. And as he held this sweet, sexy woman in his arms, he knew that he had to change. It was why he’d thanked her and he could see by her reaction that he’d said the right thing. He had to let her in. Had to enjoy these moments together because he didn’t know how long they would last.
He had been searching for some kind of sign. He shook his head and leaned down to kiss her as she glanced up at him. He didn’t care that they were in the middle of a crowded dance floor, he only knew that he needed her. He was tired of playing silly games that neither of them could win.
“What was that for?” she asked, leaning up on her tiptoes to speak into his ear.
“Because you make me happy,” he said. “No one else ever has.”
