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She tugged her arm from his grip and stood staring at him in the fading light. She could use some closure herself. Maybe then she’d be able to really move on from Jay.
For too long he’d been the reason she’d stayed single, afraid to risk herself again. He’d changed her from the girl who’d always said yes to life to someone who’d started living in the shadows. That was it, she thought as she stood staring at him in the fading twilight.
She’d given him her heart after a whirlwind courtship and gotten burned and now...now she wanted a chance to reclaim her heart and her faith in men. Because her short marriage was the reason why she was too afraid to let anyone in.
Maybe this would heal her.
“If I give you this chance, it might not work out for you,” she said. “I’m not sure I can ever trust you again.”
“I understand. It’s my mission to make you trust me,” he said.
She had to think this through. On the surface it seemed the perfect way for her to get on with her life. She had poured her heart and soul into Sweet Dreams and now the bakery was doing better than she or Staci had ever hoped it would. But what was next? They had been talking about opening a second location, but that was more work. She used work as the excuse to her family and friends as the reason why she didn’t date. Now Jay was back and until she resolved her past with him she’d never be able to move on. He was offering her a lot more than he probably realized.
“There was something powerful between us or we wouldn’t have been attracted to each other the first time.”
“We can try to get to know each other again, Jay, but I’m going to use this time to get over you.”
Jay crossed his big-muscled arms over his chest. It would help her to get over him if he’d let himself go physically in the four years since she’d last seen him. But no, he was still in top form. His thick brown hair was still military short and his eyes had a few more sun lines around them than he had before.
And he looked older, but not in a bad way. He had more experience and he wore it with an ease that she hoped she did, as well. She still wanted him. She had wished she wouldn’t.
The thought of those big arms wrapping around her and holding her made her close her eyes. She remembered the way his legs had tangled with hers and how they’d fitted together perfectly.
“Fair enough,” he said, holding up his hands. “If I can’t convince myself we deserve a second chance then how the hell am I going to convince you?”
He was asking her to trust him, though he didn’t recognize it. She had to believe she was strong enough to protect her heart this time. She had to believe that she was strong enough to resist the lust and emotions he drew effortlessly from her.
And yet, she wanted him. It had been four long years since she’d been in the same space as this man. She’d never admit it out loud, but she had sort of feared he’d die on deployment and she’d never know. That she’d spend the rest of her life wondering what had happened to him.
And though she still wasn’t sure this was the wisest course of action, she found that that one thing hadn’t changed in four years.
It was her intent that this time she’d walk away the winner. She was intrigued enough by Jay to want to stay, and having a plan made her feel that much better about it. But the truth was he was her fatal weakness and something she was determined to change.
* * *
JAY KNEW HOW FRAGILE his control over Alysse was. He had thought an apology would be enough at least to get them back to a nice place to start over. But now he was admitting that wouldn’t do it. How out of touch he was struck him.
How could he convince her to trust him when he wasn’t too sure that leaving the Corps and starting over was what he truly wanted? He should have dinner with her and then send her on her way. She deserved a new start without him possibly dragging her down.
And that was the rub. In the field he was confident of his abilities. All the training and missions he’d had ensured that when he took aim he hit his target. But alone on the beach with Alysse, now that was something he wasn’t as confident of.
“Will you come back and have a glass of wine with me?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said. “But I don’t think I should stay for dinner.”
He escorted Alysse back to the table and for the first time understood how hard this mission was going to be. He wanted a second chance to make things right with her. He’d never meant for her to get hurt the way she had.
