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“It’s okay. I see the real you,” she said.
“What do you see, Ainsley?” he asked her.
She struggled to put into words what she felt for him. It was ephemeral. More emotions than tangible qualities. But she knew what he wanted. Because he’d shown her that she was sexy despite her fears.
“I see a man who is very caring and careful with me and my emotions.”
He shook his head. “You see a man who wanted to get you into bed and did everything in his power to make that happen.”
She looked at him and felt the first hint of doubt that Steven was the man she thought he was.
“I see a man who took time out of his busy schedule to give me a day off and to make time for us.”
Again he gave her that hard look of his. One that she was coming to seriously dislike. “I needed to work from home that day. It worked out for me.”
She walked away from him and then turned back to face him. “What is your problem? Why can’t you see what I do?”
“I have no idea. Maybe you wanted to see something in me that wasn’t there. Some kind of fantasy based on that interview you did five years ago. I’m not that man.”
She pointed her finger at him. “You could be, you just don’t want to. Because you’re a coward.”
“I’ve hit men for saying that.”
“You’re not going to hit me and we both know it.”
“That’s right, but I will walk out this door.”
“If you do, then it will be because you’re afraid. Afraid to take a chance on something good and lasting.”
He walked to her and for the first time she wished she’d left her shoes on because she could use a couple of extra inches right now. She felt overweight and weak compared to him. But she knew she wasn’t.
Her size had never truly defined her. She might have let it at one point, but she was smart, funny and sexy no matter what her weight was. And right now she knew that she was worth loving. She always had been. This man was going to realize at some point that he’d given up on something good.
“Love like this doesn’t come along every day, Steven. And if you walk out my door, you will miss me. Tonight, tomorrow and a hundred other tomorrows, because you will end up alone.”
“Thanks for the prediction, Madame Ainsley, but I don’t need your second sight to tell me that. I like to be alone. You and me, we had some hot sex and that was it.”
She shook her head. “You can’t even see what you are throwing away.” She couldn’t stop the tears that burned, but she refused to let them fall. Blinked and blinked until they pooled at the bottom of her eyes.
“Don’t do that. Don’t look at me with those wide, wet violet eyes and try to make me feel guilty,” he said.
“I’m not trying to make you feel anything. I wanted to love you, but you’re too set in your own ways to understand that love isn’t a trap.”
He gave her a cynical look that made her shiver. “Sorry, love, but I know better. I’ve seen my mother trapped by her feelings for her work. And my father couldn’t even leave his true love—the Everest Group—to meet his sons, much less spend time with them.
“I know what love is but it’s not the same love that you’re talking about.”
She wrapped one arm around her waist and watched him. There were no words to make this okay. Not for him and certainly not for her. She knew when he had a chance to think…hell, what did she really know about him?
But she didn’t know if he’d come to the realization that she was worth keeping before she moved on. Before she looked at him and was filled with apathy, not empathy.
“I think you should go,” she said.
“I think so,” he said, picking up his suit jacket and walking toward the door. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I did enjoy every minute we spent together. You are a very special lady, Ainsley.”
Then he walked out the door and she stood there watching him go, watching him walk down her block away from her. A light rain fell and he didn’t quicken his pace, just kept moving steadily, inexorably toward his car.
She closed the door and wrapped both arms around her waist, feeling as if she were falling apart. She had no idea how she was going to recover from this. She hadn’t thought she could feel this bad from a person again. No one had ever hurt her like him. He’d hurt her badly five years ago, and she didn’t want to admit he’d done it again.
She sat there for a long time, tears burning at the back of her eyes. Finally, she just drew her knees up to her chest and put her head down. She let her tears fall freely, knowing that they were going to come one way or another.
