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(Silence.)
You said I won a lot. But you’re wrong. No matter what I did, I couldn’t win.
JAMIE:I don’t—
SHAY:You might not be able to run this interview because of libel issues, but at least whatever happens, the truth won’t be erased.
JAMIE:What do you mean—
SHAY:You wanted to know what I did senior year to get valedictorian taken away. I’m going to tell you, but I wanted you to understand that part first.
After prom, I was ashamed. It’s humiliating to admit, but I thought if Anderson and I became a couple, that would fix it. Like being together would retroactively make what happened okay, turn it from something bad into a rocky beginning. I’m sure you can guess how the conversation went with him at school on Monday.
I was done with Heller after that. Counting the days until I could leave and never look back. But then…
(Silence.)
Two days before graduation, I went to Principal Ruskin’s office to hand in my speech. I was waiting outside his door when Mr. Trevors walked out, shaking Ruskin’s hand. He caught my eyes and didn’t flinch, just said, “Ms. Evans” as he walked past, all smooth and calm, like he hadn’t dated my mom and hit her.
He was getting promoted. Ruskin told me like it was an exciting secret. He was being named head of the English department, and he was receiving a teaching award on top of it. I just sat there in Ruskin’s office while he droned on about my speech, trying to imagine what I would’ve done if Mr. Trevors had been head of English when I was in school, and I hadn’t been able to escape him. I don’t think I would have made it to graduation.
Suddenly a flip switched, and the only thing I felt was rage. I wanted to destroy someone. Hurt them like they’d hurt me.
JAMIE:Them?
SHAY:In that moment, I hated everyone. Even you.
(Silence.)
That’s why I burned his classroom.
(Creaking springs. Footsteps.)
JAMIE:What the…You’rethe one?
SHAY:For listeners, in May 2009, the night before graduation, authorities were called to put out a fire at Heller High. They arrived to find the English wing in flames and had to work quickly to contain it. They were successful, but it took another year before the English classrooms were rebuilt. The entire faculty was displaced.
JAMIE:This isn’t funny, Shay. You’re talking about arson.
SHAY:I’m just trying to give the listeners some context. You can sit back down. I’m not going to bite.
JAMIE:I can’t air this interview. You just confessed to a crime.
SHAY:They knew it was me from the start, Jamie. I don’t know how, but they figured it out.
JAMIE:How? I mean…how did it evenhappen?
SHAY:I only meant to burn Mr. Trevors’s room. But the truth is, I would’ve been happy to see the whole school go up in flames. It was easy, with gasoline at midnight. I stayed as long as I could, because I wanted to see the classroom where he tortured me burn. You should’ve seen the way it looked against the sky.
JAMIE:You risked throwing away your future for revenge? Everything you’d worked so hard for? We were finally escaping Heller, and you were willing to give it up. I don’t understand.
SHAY:It wasn’t rational. It was fury.
JAMIE:Everyone thought it was an actual arsonist, and the whole time, it was you. Why didn’t you get in trouble?
SHAY:Ruskin called me and my mom into his office the morning of graduation. I knew I was toast. I expected the cops to be waiting, but when my mom and I got there, it was just him, and the guidance counselor, and a woman who turned out to be the superintendent. The way they were looking at me…
JAMIE:Livid?
