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Chapter 16 - Laurel
Getting out in the open was the only thing that could possibly get me out of my bad mood and take my mind off Ben. I was pissed at myself for blowing off Shakes, leaving myself nothing to do all day but mope. Well, to hell with that.
I knew I was taking a big risk going up there, but my mom didn’t have time before work to drop me off all the way on the other side of the mountain and I didn’t have the extra money to pay her for gas, anyway. She was supportive of my “hobbies” as she still insisted on calling them, but wished I’d stayed in college. It was a mark of how irritated I was with Shakes that I called her asking for a ride rather than have to deal with him telling me how dumb I was for spending the night with Ben.
I already knew that.
While I prepared for the free climb down, I did some budgeting in my head. It was time I got a car and stopped being so reliant on Shakes. He’d blame it on Ben when I told him that, sure to rub it in that Ben wouldn’t last, just like the other tourists didn’t last. I already knew that too, and despite my attempt to preempt some of the pain, my heart ached.
Ben was different. If I wasn’t careful, I’d be ruined for any chance of a real relationship, destined to constantly regret letting him go.
“It was a freaking one night stand, Laurel,” I said, tightening my climbing shoes.
I tried to make myself believe that’s all it was, and that was all he believed it to be, but I knew from the way he looked at me and the sound of yearning in his voice that it wasn’t true. He wanted more, just like I did. I also knew he’d never move here full time and I’d shrivel up and die in a place like New York. At most we might have a month together and every single day would make it more torturous to say goodbye.
Sitting on the edge and swinging my legs over the side, I almost started live streaming the climb out of habit, but stopped myself. This was for me. I still had a lot of things to figure out, but one thing that never wavered was my love for climbing. I knew by the time I got to the bottom, I’d have a completely different mindset and I didn’t want to share that with anyone.
Except maybe Ben. I snorted at that. As if I could ever get him to do anything more dangerous than a zipline a third grader wouldn’t be scared of. Maybe he’d return in the winter and we could ski together though. I got lost in a fantasy of us swishing down the side of the mountain, coming across a deserted cabin, taking a little break. I shook myself out of the daydream, feeling tears welling in my eyes. It was time to go.
I twisted around to ease myself over the side, carefully finding my first foothold. A shout echoed from across the canyon. I quickly scrambled back up, sure I must have imagined it from a guilty conscience. There was no possible way. Another shout and I ran for the binoculars in my pack, hurrying to focus them on the source of the yelling.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said, shaking my head.
Ben stood on the far side of the ravine, waving his arms and yelling swear words that reverberated back and forth between us. How was I so unlucky?
For the briefest of moments, I thought about turning back and hiking down, but it was such a long walk and would only put me in a worse mood. I was going to do my climb and get a ride home like I’d planned and Ben couldn’t do a thing about it, miles away as he was. He fell silent and I raised the binoculars again to see him looking at me through a camera with a long lens attached. I raised my fingers to my lips and blew him a kiss, then dropped over the side to start my climb.
The shouting started again as I eased my way down. I should have flipped him off.
