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“Of course I do, but I can’t give her what she is asking for.”
“Did she know what you could and could not give when you two bumped nasties?”
I nodded. “Yeah she did, but I knew she was only fooling herself, and I still did it anyway.”
“But that isn’t your responsibility, E. She said she could handle it but now she sees it’s a whole lot harder than she imagined it to be. That’s on her. But what is on you is making sure that the boundaries are clear. Her leaving, crying like that, can only mean that you either said something or did something to confuse her.”
I poked at the empty bowl in front of him.
“I didn’t say anything. I just wanted to ask if she was okay.”
He slammed his hand on the granite. “And that right there is the problem. You are showing her you care and, in her mind, it’s confusing. Because in her mind, she is trying to tell herself that you are selfish and care only for yourself. So, when you do the exact opposite of what she is trying to tell herself, you are then confusing her.”
“What? Where did you even come up with that?”
“My sister.” He shrugged. “She was rambling on and on about how men don’t understand the logic of women, and how the world would be a simpler place if we just started listening but that isn’t what I am trying to say here. What I’m trying to say is, you need to stick to one thing. You are either the asshole who can’t commit to her, or you are the man who is trying to woo her. You can’t be in between. It does not work like that.”
I leaned my hands against the island and hung my head.
“I can’t be with her. I can’t give her what she wants.”
“Then you need to let her go. In every aspect. You can’t be her friend. You can’t be her hero or anything of the sort. You can only be her neighbor and her boss. Nothing more and nothing less.”
I nodded.
“Good. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to watch my football highlights. You still coming over to Nora’s for thanksgiving?”
“Yeah. I’ve avoided everyone for too long now.”
“Great. Now go take a shower. You stink.”
I grabbed the nearest apple from a bowl and flung it at his head. The idiot caught it and took a big bite out of it. He left the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I looked out the window at the house beside mine. I didn’t like that I had made her sad. I hated that my actions were causing her so much pain. She didn’t deserve it.
I had too much baggage, and I didn’t want to put that onto her as well. She was a good person, and she had her things to sort through. My life was not stable enough to handle another person on top of that.
My ringtone filled the silent kitchen, startling me. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and looked at the screen.
Nora Stone.
Great.
I answered it, knowing full well that if I ignored the call, she would be at my door knocking within the next twenty minutes.
“Hello.”
“Ethan! I’m so glad I caught you. I was just double-checking with you that you will be at the thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I will be there, Nora. Is there anything that you wanted me to bring for you?”
“Oh no, sweetie, just bring yourself. That will be more than enough. But if you did want to bring a special somebody, then that will be fine, too.”
“Oh no. I don’t have anyone like that in my life, Nora.”
“Well, I hope one day you will.” Her words reminded me of my mother. “Okay. I will let you go now. We can talk more tomorrow. Bye, sweetheart.”
“Bye, Nora.” I hung up.
I knew that Grayson would be there at dinner and so would Lily. I would need to make sure that I played my part right. I needed to forget about Lily Stone, and I needed to make sure the boundaries were clear on both sides.
