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The world around me became muffled. Everything around me moved in slow motion. I could hear bits of what people were saying.
‘Surgery’
‘Internal bleeding’
‘Fatal’
The world around me tilted on its axis, and I was left destabilized and off-balance.
Gavin. My stability. My safety. My peace. My home.
I could physically feel my heart shattering, as I tried to hold it together. I wanted to be strong, but right now, all I could do was break. He had always told me that it was safe to break because he would be there helping me pick up all the pieces. But now, I was breaking without him.
If Gavin didn’t survive this, then I wouldn’t survive. I thought of Axel and how he would only be left with a shell of who I was if Gavin left. I feared that my heart would not be capable of fully giving him the love he deserved.
This was why I chose to lock my heart because now it was leaving with Gavin on that bed to the operating room, and I didn’t know if it was going to return.
