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Mom hangs up, leaving me speechless because I guess that is the question: what do I want? I’ve been wondering that for years, but I've never truly been given the opportunity to figure it out. I’ve been pushed into my degree because my family claims a business degree is a guaranteed job with lots of money. It always comes back to that, but from what I see in my family, it doesn’t bring happiness. Maybe that is what I am searching for.
A life of happiness.
But what does that involve? What does that look like for me?
I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t even realise that I’m not alone until I gasp in surprise at the deep voice that reaches me. “Wow.” I jump, spinning on my heel to see him standing behind me with a sympathetic look in his eyes, his hands tucked into the front pockets of his jeans. “I guess you had every reason to not want me to call your parents that night.”
Not wanting to talk about my parents and my life, I focus on him and steel my jaw as I tuck my phone in my back pocket. “What are you doing here?”
He shrugs. “Conner is my brother. I was driving him to see his girl, and I didn’t think I would see you again.”
“So why didn’t you say anything? You just acted like we’ve never met. Why?” I ask, cocking my head.
“Did you want me to?”
I open my mouth to answer, but nothing comes out because I honestly didn’t know. Did I want my friends to know that I got drunk and threw up on a hot guy, then ended up crashing at his place? Yeah, nothing says pathetic like that.
Swallowing my retort, I cross my arms over my chest, and I can't help but notice how Riley glances down to my chest briefly before focusing back on my eyes. “Are you going to?”
He gives me a long, thoughtful look until I start to shift where I stand, unsure of what to do or say, but I wait until he finally pushes off from the wall. “Depends.” He takes a step towards me and it’s starting to feel like it's just us it that hallway.
“On what?”
He stops just before me, close enough to smell the smoky scent of whiskey from the bar on him, his eyes darker as he cocks his head and holds my gaze. “If you wanna be my dirty little secret.”
I swallow, wanting to lean into his smell, to feel how warm I know he is, until I remember who he is and how I do not need to complicate things right now. So instead of leaning in, I force myself to scoff, taking a step back as I say, “Dirty little secret? I hardly think so. I threw up on you and crashed at your place. Nothing hot and heavy happened.”
His eyes remain dark as he replies, “Because I didn’t let it.” He looks me up and down. “I don’t fuck women too drunk to walk. I want her to know everything I’m doing to her. But considering nothing happened, I guess there is nothing for me to tell.”
The hot spell he had me under breaks as he blinks, stepping back with a flirtatious twinkle in his eyes. The fucker is messing with me and enjoying this?! I narrow my eyes at him as I growl, “It’s as close as you’re ever going to get, buddy!”
He merely chuckles, continuing to his way back down the hall, leaving me in a pile of my own anger and sexual frustration.
The fucker!
CHAPTER 6
MIA
Ilive for these days. I nuzzle the soft chubby cheeks of Charlie, who is bundled in my arms, breathing in the fresh baby smell. “Who’s my big man? Who is my big man?”
I am met with a blank stare, his little lips pursed as Ava comments from her place on the couch, “I’m getting the feeling the only reason you come by is to steal my baby, not see me.”
“What makes you say that?” I ask without even looking at her.
“The fact that you haven’t let him go since you got here.”
I finally look up from where I sit on the floor with Charlie wrapped in my arms, to see Ava looking down at me with a raised brow. “You know I love you.”
“Uh huh.” Ava nods, not convinced, but we both know it’s true. I return my gaze to Charlie, amused by how small he is, when Ava breaks the spell, asking, “So how are things?”
She crosses her legs and leans forward. I shrug, thinking about what I have going on right now. Everything and nothing all at once. Truthfully, I feel like I should be doing more with my life, but at the same time, it feels like it isn’t my life I’m living. It is not my choice to study business, and it isn’t my choice to go out on dates with some of the guys I do. I’ve been doing what my parents expect for so long, I honestly have no idea what I want to do if I was given the choice. “Normal. I’ve got this guy in my business law class that is being a tad too nice.” I finish with a waggle of my brows to make my point.
A slow smile stretches across Ava’s face. “Uh, I know what that means. You gonna throw him a bone?”
“No,” I say simply, stroking Charlie’s soft cheek with my thumb.
“Not a nice guy?”
