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I see her words in her eyes, how grateful she is, thanking me because she knows Mia will probably regret this later once the pain and loss have ebbed.
Mia waves a finger at everyone when I approach her. “Fake! All of you like to pretend you’re perfect and that you care, but it’s all bullshit! None of it matters in the end!”
Feeling her words, I come around to her and quickly throw her over my shoulder before she can fight or realise what I'm doing. It doesn’t take long before she starts to kick and hit me, demanding that I put her down. I meet the eyes of Ava, Hunter, and her friends as I make my way out the front door, kicking it open with my boot, hearing it slam shut behind me as I stomp my way towards the large tree in the front yard with a rope swing and a wooden plank for a seat.
Mia continues to scream at me. “What the fuck are you doing? Put me down, you big brute!”
Once I’m a ways away from the house, I easily place her down, keeping my hands on her shoulders to steady her. She pushes me away and narrows her eyes at me, a look of anger and hate being thrown at me, but if she needs someone to yell at to deal with this, I guess I’ll be that guy. But she clearly needs space and time for herself to breathe. Until then, she is standing in my face with a look that would make some cower in fear, as she growls, “Don’t you fucking grab me like that again.”
I cross my arms over my chest, not fazed by this little woman and her fiery temper. “I did you a favor.”
She scoffs. “A favor? Well, I didn’t ask you for any favors.”
“You didn’t need to ask, but if I hadn’t of stepped in, you may have said something more you’d regret later.”
She scoffs again. “I won’t regret a thing. Did you see them in there?” She throws a hand out to the large house behind her, and I shrug.
“Yeah, they’re fake. What makes you think anything you say will matter to them? You think they will change, or care? All you’ve done is probably give them more to gossip about.”
Mia mumbles something under her breath before growling in frustration. “But how can they just stand there and act like they care when all they’ve cared about is their reputation and money. I just saw it all, and I got so mad that I wanted some of them to suffer.”
I cock my head. “Like you’re suffering?”
“I’m not suffering, I’m mad.”
“And it’s okay to be mad, and it’s okay to hurt, but you don't need to sink down to their level. They don’t understand because they’ve probably never lost anyone, or maybe they’re just bad people, but this time isn’t about them. If they wanna go on pretending to care, okay, but the only thing that matters is how you feel and how you’re dealing with this.”
I watch the tension evaporate from Mia’s shoulders as she lowers herself onto the wooden swing and sits with her head hanging as she says in a small voice, “Honestly, I don’t know how to deal with this. I’m so mad and lost. I just don’t know what to do.”
I wrap a hand around the rope of the swing, forcing her eyes to meet mine. “How about you take it one day at a time? Do whatyouneed to do? Do what makesyouhappy. This is a time when being selfish is a good thing.”
She sits there with a thoughtful expression, so silent that I worry I may have broken her, so I say, “Do you think you’re ready to head back in without declaring war on everyone?”
A little laugh slips past her lips, completely different from the crazed one she had earlier. I like this one, it's one I haven’t heard before, not even with her friends. It’s like I get a little secret piece of her no one else gets. It makes me smile as she shakes her head. “Not yet. I think I need a minute to, you know, collect my thoughts.”
I nod, accepting this, but also not wanting to leave her. One look down at her and I know it's what she needs. She may not allow herself to be vulnerable and really deal with everything with me here. That is why I walk back to the house, leaving her sitting on the swing with her head hung in thought.
CHAPTER 10
MIA
This week was unlike any I’ve ever had.
After the disaster at my parents' reception, I stayed outside, deep in thought on what my next move will be, until most of the people had left. Only then did I return to help with the clean-up, seeing nothing but pity looking back at me from my brother and friends. So I avoided their eyes most of the time, knowing that I must get through this in my own way and in my own time.
I returned to the apartment that night and poured a glass of wine, sat in the darkness, and tried to search my brain for what to do now. I have no job to support myself, I’ve never worked a day in my life, I’m losing my apartment in a couple of days, and I haven’t even started packing because I’m unsure of where I will be living. Then there is school. With no job, I have no money to pay for the next semester. Maybe if I worked and saved, then I could, but I can't help thinking if that's something that I want or something I thought I wanted because my parents pushed it on me.
Sitting in the dark, I quickly realised that I’ve done everything for everyone else, and I don't even know me anymore. I know I love horror movies and Channing Tatum and music. I know I love to listen to music and get lost in it. I love to unload my feelings in the form of lyrics that no one will ever hear, but I would never be a musician. My music is for me and that is that.
After downing another glass of wine, I curl up in a ball on the couch and drift off with no resolution in sight. It isn’t until the next morning that I know what I must do.
My stuff packed,and I call Hunter to pick me up so we can go to our parents' house to start clearing it up. With the deadline getting closer, we must work to clear out all of our parents' things, and fix the place up so it's ready to leave. Today is the start of that and also the day I temporarily move back in until I figure out another place to live.
With bags and bags lined up in the entryway, I’m surprised when Hunter comes barging into the apartment with a look of determination in his eyes, zeroed in on me sitting on the couch as I scroll through job listings on my phone.
I furrow my brow, but he instantly barks, pointing a finger at me. “You left school?!”
I raise my brows, surprised he found out so soon. I only did it a couple of days ago when I thought about spending money on something I’m not sure I want to be doing. I would rather continue to save and wait until I know what I want before going back, if ever. But I see why Hunter would see this as extreme. “Yes. How did you know?”
