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I sit there, for I don’t know how long in this loop until I finally force myself to move. Grabbing a bag of jellybeans from the kitchen, needing a break from the sour candies, I then plop myself on the couch to drown out this inner noise with something else, just for a time. At least until I can speak to him myself. I’ll try to talk to him at the game on the weekend.
I hit play onFifty Shades of Greyand start to get so lost in the story and the disaster of their first meeting, that I jump in surprise when I hear the front door open.
I glance at the time, and it's later than I thought, because Riley closes the door behind him, looking worn and tired as he kicks his shoes off by the door. He raises his brows at me, as if he's surprised to find me perched on his couch with a bag of jellybeans, dressed in my comfy sweats.
“What are you still doing up?” he asks, shucking his jacket off and throwing it over the back of the couch. I think back to the conversation with Ava and Logan and everything going on with Hunter, and I just don’t wanna go into that right now, so I twist the truth a little.
“Decided on a movie night,” I tell him, nodding my head to the TV, where Ana is talking to her roommate about Christian. Riley follows my gaze before making his way to the refrigerator and pulling out a beer.
“What are you watching?” he asks, twisting the cap off.
“Fifty Shades.”
He gives a little shake of his head. “Never seen it.”
I twist fully on the couch until I am practically hanging over the back, resting my forearms on the top of the couch as my jaw hits the floor. “Are you serious? You never had a girlfriend demand that you watch this to get you in the mood to try some freaky shit.”
He lets out a little chuckle at that, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t like the sound. “Can’t say that I have, but I also don’t need a movie to do that.” He raises his brows at me and throws back the beer as I shift in my place on the couch, trying not to think about the freaky shit he could be into or willing to try.
Nope, none of that, Mia!
I clear my throat. “Well, we need to rectify this, so come on over and watch it with me.”
He raises brows again. “So is this the part where the girlfriend demands I watch this in the hopes of getting me in the mood?”
I know that he’s teasing me, but I say, “Not your girlfriend, and you said yourself that you don’t need a movie to help you get in the mood. But”—I hold up a finger—“I am demanding you watch this movie.”
I see the hesitation as his eyes move from me to the TV, so I clasp my hands in front of me. “Please, please please, please-“
“Okay!” He holds up his hands, clearly amused, as he throws back the beer again and makes his way over to the couch. “I’ll watch the movie and then I’m going to bed.”
I turn to face the TV with a triumphant smile as he flops himself down on the other side of the couch. “You say that now, but you will be begging for the second and third movie.”
His head snaps to me with wide eyes. “There’s more than one?!”
Without answering, I start the movie again and continue to eat the jellybeans I have tucked between my legs.
At first, it was nice, re-watching the opening credits introduce our main characters. Even when Ana fell on her face upon first meeting Christian, I let out a giggle at the absurdity of the situation and wondered what the hell she tripped on. We get it, guys! Ana is supposed to be clumsy, but funny how things like that don’t come up too often in the films again. I try to stop mentally critiquing it, when Riley speaks, just as Christian says that he is ‘interested in many physical pursuits.’ “This is what women want? A guy that just stares at you and gives vague answers?”
I scoff because I know this was the tamest part of the movie. “Just you wait.”
I feel his eyes on me a second before he returns to the TV and we continue to watch in silence until it gets to the part where Ana wakes up in Christian’s hotel room and he says that she would not be able to sit down for a week, thus making Riley let out a humorless laugh. He twists in his seat, throwing his arm over the top of the couch and facing me with a look of confusion. “So that’s what women want?”
I finally turn in my seat, raising one brow. “Oh, you haven’t gotten to the part women want yet, but it definitely helps Christian that he is rich and hot.”
He raises a brow this time, curiosity piqued. “Is that you, Mia? Interested in hot rich guys?”
The question was supposed to tease, but my mind flashes back to my parents and the numerous rich guys they set me up with, and I shake my head. “Nothing is more unattractive to me.”
He cocks his head. “So why do you like this movie?”
I allow one corner of my mouth to tilt up in a small, mischievous smile as I lean in a little. “You’ll see.” Then I turn back around to watch the movie and that is where the light and easy atmosphere ends.
I knew when they were in his place that a particular scene was coming up and I thought it would be easy to watch with Riley, maybe entertaining to watch him squirm, but I'm the one squirming with a half-eaten bag of jellybeans between my legs. I sit with my hands clasped at my sides, unsure of how to move as I feel the tension in the room start to grow slightly when Ana is taken to the playroom. When all is revealed, I had hoped for Riley to crack a joke to lighten the mood, but he's just as still as I am, his eyes focused on the screen before him, his face expressionless.
I clench my hands at my sides as I work to focus on anything but the fact that Riley is sitting beside me and we're about to watch someone have sex, something we will never have. It has been a while for me, so maybe that’s the problem. If I were to find some idiot to get my fix, then everything would be okay, and I wouldn't be crazy tempted right now. One small glance over at Riley and I know a random hook up would do shit. I haven’t seen a guy that tempted me lately… except for Riley, but I’m not going there, and it’s clear he’s not going there either.
I feel the tension grow in the room, so thick I think I might suffocate, as Christian and Ana first have sex with romantic lighting and music to accompany the smash fest we're watching. The distance between Riley and I doesn't seem far enough as I feel my skin start to get hotter, the need to remove some clothing to cool down almost too much, but I won’t. I don't want to make things awkward here by stripping and having Riley think I’m coming on to him or some weird shit.
