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“You’re punching, but you’re just using your arm. You need to put your whole body into it.” He looks past me. “Riley, come show her.”
He steps away from the ropes and gets into stance with one foot back and the other in front, his hands up, and raises one brow in challenge at Travis. “Full power?”
“We’re just showing her how-“
Before he finishes, Riley swings his fist, twisting his whole body and driving it forward into Travis’s padded hand, landing with a loud smack.
“Uh! Fuck!” Travis hops around, shaking his hand out as Riley struts back to his place on the ropes, the boys laughing and Riley smirking back at Travis.
Travis glares at him before focusing back on me. “So you saw how he used his whole body. You need to twist and drive your body into it.”
Nodding, I hold my gloves up, positioning my feet like how I saw Riley do previously, and look up to see Travis waiting with his gloves out. I take a deep breath and use what strength I have to push my glove into his pad, landing with a loud smack, not as loud as Riley’s, but still loud.
Stepping back, I see a small smile on Travis’s face as he nods. “Good, you’re getting there, but you need more power behind it. A way to do that, just get mad.”
I furrow my brow, cocking my head as he explains, “Sometimes using the anger you have inside of you can be a powerful weapon. Use it.”
I shrug. “I don’t have anything to get angry over.”
At that he laughs, regarding me. “You just lost your parents, your money, your home, your education. You work in a bar and deal with fucking dicks that think you’re nothing more than a piece of ass. You cannot tell me you’re not mad at some of that?”
I stop and think. Yes, I can be mad at that, but it doesn’t solve anything. My parents are gone, but they were gone before they were dead. They’ve left my brother and me to clean up their mess and deal with being broke and figuring out life with skills they refused to teach us. Because of them, I feel inadequate, like I can’t do anything. Why must learn the hard lesson now when I should have learnt them years ago? But it’s not all them, because I am angry. I am angry at them, but I’m also angry at Hunter for leaving me in the dark, and I’m scared for him. A small part of me is angry at my best friends for moving on and living their lives, making me feel like Ava and Harper have left me behind. I’m angry at Riley for not being clear on what we are or how he may feel or not. I’m angry at what my life has become and what I have become. Yes, I am happy about some aspects of my life, but I’m angry because I didn’t get a choice in any of it.
Feeling the anger and frustration bubbling inside me, I clench my fists and see only what's wrong when I drive my fist into the pad, letting the impact sound loudly around me. Then I swing again and drive my other fist into his pad, then another and another.
I’m so lost it in that I don’t stop punching, even when I Travis drops his gloves, exclaiming, “Whoa whoa whoa!”
He uses his pads to push my gloves down, stopping the onslaught of punching. Only then do I blink, looking up and seeing the concerned eyes looking at me as if I may attack any of them, any time.
I calm my rapid breath, dropping my hands before whispering on numb lips, “I’m sorry.”
I go to back away, but Travis steps forward. “It’s okay. Bring that energy into a fight and the guy won’t know what hit him.”
He gives me a playful shove, and I allow myself to give a small smile, feeling hopeful.
We doa few more punches and kicks, Travis showing me how to properly hold my fist when I punch someone, taking off my gloves and explaining that if I don’t have my thumb on the outside, I could break my thumb.
I look down at my fist with the thumb on the outside, when suddenly a big pair of arms encircle me, one arm around my shoulders and the other coming around to cup a hand over my mouth, muffling the scream of surprise.
“If a guy grabs you.” Riley quickly speaks into my ear to stop the desire to fight, explaining, “If he grabs you like this, what do you do?”
I think for a moment and try to step back to get his foot and miss. I try to struggle against his hold, but he is too strong. I try to elbow him, but I can’t reach.
I continue to struggle until Riley drops his hand from my mouth, letting go of me and moving to the front of me. The fear I felt a second ago long gone as he explains, “Now I’m not gonna show you how to do a complicated movement because, you might not remember it if you need it. You need something simple and effective, so I’ll grab you again, but instead, I want you to twist at the hip, maybe dip a bit lower if you can, and try to elbow me in the groin.”
My eyes go wide. “You want me to elbow you in the penis?”
“Not really, but just pretend.”
I cock my head. “You’re putting a lot of trust in me.”
He comes around to stand behind me, saying, “As you are with me.”
Once in position, I wait, but I still feel a second of surprise and fear when Riley grabs me, pulling me to him and covering my mouth. I fight my need to squirm, twisting at the hips, dipping and elbowing Riley in the penis, or tapping my elbow in the general crotch area, to be technical.
The boys around me erupt in cheers and applause as I gather my footing, Riley holding my arm to help support me with an encouraging smile. “How was that?”
I nod, feeling a twinkling of pride. “Good. Easy to remember.”
