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“All good things, I hope,” I comment as my eyes lock onto Hunter's as he comes up onto the back patio with a look of irritation, tucking his phone into the pockets of his jeans.
Without even looking at me, he walks past and pulls open the cooler by the BBQ. Conner holds up a hand to stop him, and I swear the backyard just goes silent as everyone turns to watch the interaction, tension thick in the air. “Hey, bro, how about we lay off for a while.”
“I’m fine,” he grumbles and tries again, but Conner stops him.
“Look, you’re stumbling and slurring your words. I understand needing a drink every now and then but, you might want to ease up.”
I watch as Hunter's face twists as he steps back, looking Conner up and down and scoffing at him. Riley stands beside his brother with tensed shoulders and a scowl aimed at Hunter, but Hunter pays him no mind. “Like you’re one to talk. Wasn’t your kid a product of too much alcohol?”
I see the regret as soon as the words leave his mouth, just as I see the anger in Conner’s eyes and the clench of his fists as he almost goes at Hunter. He would have if Riley hadn’t been there to hold his brother back, whispering calming words I can’t hear to him.
A gasp from Lucy sounds and a look of disapproval comes from Logan. It's only Hadley and I who watch on in shock at what just came out of my brother's mouth. I am all too happy that Ava's inside now and didn’t hear it.
His eyes move over each of us, and he backs away with regret in his eyes and self-loathing. If only he would reach out and let me help him!
He retreats down the steps that lead down to the backyard, and I let my feet carry me as I chase after him, needing answers before I lose my brother altogether.
I leave everyone in their tense silence, following my brother around until he reaches the side gates that take you to the front yard, obviously not wanting to face Ava after what he said. He makes no move to slow down or stop, so I call out, “Hunter! Hunter, just stop for a second and talk to me!”
He spins around on me as we finally make it out to the front yard, stopping so abruptly I almost crash into him as he levels me with a tired glare, a look I’ve never seen on him aimed at me. “Why? What do you want?”
I blink, surprised at the outburst. “I want to talk to you.”
“Well, I’m fine. Everyone just needs to stop worrying about me and live their own lives. That’s what you’ve done, isn’t it?”
“What? I’ve been trying to see you for weeks, and it’s like you’ve been avoiding me.”
He waves me off. “Well, you know what? Don’t worry about me. You just worry about your new job and new place and happy life.”
I blink again, unable to understand what I'm hearing or why he's saying these things. “Are you angry at me? For getting a job and moving in with Riley. I had no other choice.”
He curls his lips. “You had so many choices, but you chose that one. I offered you a place.”
“And I couldn’t take it!” I exclaim, wishing people would understand how much I needed this time to figure out who I am and what I want. “You know our parents used to control me and determine what I did and who I was. Well, I had to figure out if I wanted to be what they wanted or use this time to figure it out for myself. I am twenty-one and I have no idea what I want to do, but I know that I am happy working at that bar. I’m sorry if it doesn’t fit in with what you think I should do, but that’s just too damn bad.”
He suddenly laughs sardonically. “Mia, I don’t give a shit what you do anymore. You might not realise this, but the world doesn’t revolve around you. You don’t think our parents put me through shit? I was too focused on making you feel better, but did you ever ask how I was doing? Let me answer that for you, no! No one ever asks. They just want me to be the same happy guy to make their lives easier. Well, I’m done.”
He throws his hands up in surrender and starts to back away as my mind reels at what he just said and how much my heart hurts at hearing those words.
“What's happened to you?” I ask, shaking my head at him as he scoffs, stopping and dropping his hands to his sides.
“So it takes getting drunk out of my mind for weeks before someone actually asks that question.” He continues to shake his head. “But even if I were to tell you, it’s too late, and you can’t do anything about it.”
I close the distance between us, grabbing his hands in mine, squeezing and making sure he feels my desperation to help him. “Talk to me!”
He stares at me like he may talk to me, until he starts shaking his head again. “Too late, Mia.”
Pulling his hands out of mine, feeling like he is ripping a part of me off and taking it with him as he walks away, he starts his walk home down the street, but not before I scream out to him.
“Be careful what you do out of pain and anger, Hunter. Push the wrong people away and you’ll only have less people to ask if you’re okay.”
He just continues to walk, not even giving me a backwards glance as I encircle my arms around my waist to try and settle the churning in my stomach. My mind races, trying to think of a time when I had asked if he was okay. I guess I've been wondering about it for the past weeks, but I don’t think I ever did ask as much as I should have and that only makes the churning worse. I'm almost positive I'm going to throw up.
I waita few minutes until I'm sure I'm not going to be sick, settling my heart rate, and schooling my features as I go back to my friends, feeling everyone’s eyes on me as I ascended the steps and sat myself down at the table. But no one asks what happened. I guess it's obvious that Hunter's not returning and that I'm upset. Connect the dots, I guess. Even Ava remains silent, and I wonder if anyone filled her in on what was said. If they did, she isn't looking at me in anger or hurt, but pity, which wasn’t much better.
Eventually, the table enters into idle chatter until the food's ready. Burgers and steaks are handed out and Riley sits down beside me, not saying a word but putting a hand to my knee and giving it a gentle squeeze as he laughs and talks with everyone around the table. The gesture is a silent one, to let me know that he's there if I need him. He always is, and he often does things like that, silent gestures to reassure me, which I appreciate much more than words.
I try to get lost in the conversation, but I my thoughts keep going back to Hunter. Maybe I should’ve followed him home to make sure he got there safely. I focus back into the conversation as Hadley goes into what she does, eager to get to know this rainbow woman of mystery sitting at the end of the table.
