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I wonder if we will spend this time together or if Riley will want to spend some time away from me. For a vacation that is meant to relax you, it appears to be doing the opposite with me. I shift in my seat.
“Are you gonna stare at me for the whole trip? Because if so, it’ll be a long drive,” Riley comments without taking his eyes off the road, his voice surprising me so much that I tear my eyes from him and focus on my hands in my lap, unsure of what to say. Silence hangs between us until he finally looks over a second before looking back at the road. “You’re thinking very loudly over there. What’s on your mind?”
If only he knew and a part of me wonders what he would do if he did know, but I'm not ready yet, not when we are confined to a car and would be stuck together if it went horribly wrong, so I lie, shrugging my shoulders and running a hand through my hair. “I was just thinking of all the stuff we can do on this trip.”
He smiles a small smile, nodding in understanding. “Yeah, hopefully it’ll be good. What are you looking forward to the most?”
I give a genuine smile, tucking my feet underneath me in my seat. “Swimming at the lake and finally getting to hang out with Ava again.” I sigh. “I’ve really missed her.”
Riley raises a brow. “So I’m not good enough for you, huh?”
His teasing smile tells me he is joking, and I grin as I reply, “You’re alright.”
He scoffs, chuckling. “Just alright?”
I roll my eyes, loving the light way we can tease and joke around with each other. “Okay, you are the most amazing, best person I have ever hung out with, and I never want to hang out with anyone else for as long as I live,” I say, waving my hands around in a flourish, eliciting a laugh from Riley as he continues to drive.
He continues to chuckle until he looks over at me, his face soft as he says, “Ditto.”
Such a simple response, but it's the way that he said it that makes my breath hitch, the way that he looked at me. Something tells me that he wasn’t just teasing.
“Stop!” I scream as I realise how long we have been looking at each other and not the road. Ahead, I see an intersection with a truck coming to cut across us and Riley making no move to stop or slow down, so I scream, holding the ‘oh shit’ handle above me. Riley grips the wheel and slams his foot on the brake, screeching the car to a stop, just as we reach the intersection and the truck comes zooming past us, its obnoxious horn blaring as it passes.
We sit, with no other cars around this deserted road, our heavy breaths filling the car as we sit and process how close we came to being rubble.
I blink, running a hand through my hair again. “You’ve been driving long?” I quip, getting my breath under control as Riley rolls the car forward and continues on his way down the road.
“Longer than you.”
“I don’t even know how to drive, yet I know to always keep your eyes on the road,” I comment, waving my finger in his face as he tries to hold back an amused smile.
“So you can do better, huh?” he says, but before I can comment, he slows the car down, pulling over to the side of the road, and twists in his seat, throwing his arm across the back of the seats as he regards me. “Let’s see what you got.”
“What?” I say, feeling the panic instantly bubbling in my chest as my heart rate skyrockets at the idea of driving this car. The mental images of car wrecks fill my mind, making it worse.
Seeing the panic on my face, Riley turns the car off and twists in his seat to face me, his face a picture of calm. “Listen, it’s okay to be scared, but do you really wanna rely on someone to get you from A to B, or would you rather have that freedom yourself?”
He raises his brows, waiting for my answer, and even though I like having Riley drive me places, I know I can’t rely on people like that. Something my parents’ deaths has taught me is that people are not guaranteed to be there for you tomorrow, so it’s best to have yourself to rely on.
And that is the reason why, with numb fingers, I unbuckle my seatbelt, nodding my head, making Riley smile.
“Alright, let’s do this!” he cheers happily, hopping out of his side and coming around to mine. With some hesitancy and nerves, I force myself out of the car and make my way over to the driver’s side, sitting down before the steering wheel, it feeling strange and foreign.
My eyes move over all the buttons and switches, trying to calm my rapid breath as I take in the scene before me, grateful for the lack of cars on the road as the passenger side door closes behind Riley as he hops in.
He quickly goes over what all the buttons and switches do, and I know that I won’t remember half of it, which only increases the panic. Seeing it on my face, Riley places a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to meet his eyes, and I see the compassion and patience there. “It’ll be okay. Just a short drive and see how you go. I’m not expecting you to be a pro, and I’ll be here the entire time.”
I swallow, trying to take another calming breath as I nod, placing my hands on the wheel.
Riley tells me how to turn on the car and I follow his instruction, rumbling the car to life, which increases my anxiety. We wait a moment before he gives me his next lot of instructions and, before I know it, I have lifted my foot off the brake and we are now rolling down the deserted road at a snail’s pace.
Riley chuckles beside me, commenting after a few minutes of our slow trek on the road. “You can go a bit faster if you want.”
I give him a look out of the side of my eye, making sure to put most of my focus on the road. “What if I don’t want?”
He sighs, leaning closer to me. “Fine, but you need to relax. Your arms are too straight, relax them a little.”
He surprises me by leaning across the car, placing his warm hand on my elbow, applying just enough pressure to tell me to bend my arms. I follow his instruction, trying to pretend like I was relaxed and not controlling this death machine. Okay, that was harsh, but it feels like a death machine in my hands.
