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Part Four
Back on Cloud Nine…
For now, anyway…
“Okay, I get that Harvey is now in Hell with your mom and dad, but how did he get to be a Minotaur?” Bernie asked for the umpteenth time.
“He made a deal with one of the big-horned freaks,” Vi harrumphed, entering the living room with a plate of cookies and a pot of her amazing hazelnut coffee lattes. “How many times have we explained this to you? He was crazier than a bedbug, nuttier than a squirrel turd, seventeen bricks shy of a load, his ducks do not waddle in a row. How many more ways can I say it?”
“A hundred,” Bernie sassed right back. “And it still won’t make a damned bit of sense. Minotaurs are born, not made.” Pounding her fist - because she was back to being her normal three-foot-three-inch Cherub self since we were once again in the Kingdom of Love – on a very big, absolutely ancient volume of the History of Supernatural Beings, my wonderful, amazing, and terrific Mate’s Familiar went on, “So, how the hell did geek butt extraordinaire Harvey Archer go from the ninety-eight-pound-dripping-wet weakling y’all say he was to that big ass Bull-with-an-attitude-problem we delivered to the Authority? It just doesn’t add up. And, while we’re at it, how in all the heck and honannies did he communicate with your mom and dad, Gecko Ass?You said, that Big Daddy and Mother Archer are locked down tighter than two-ton Tony’s thighs in his fluorescent yellow spandex shorts. They don’t even get to speak to the Demons who guard the gates to Satan’s Cats’ kitty boxes as they scoop the shit. How would Harvey have known what happened? That you and your brothers were the reason his beloved aunt and uncle were incarcerated in the most heinous, however befitting, way possible? And furthermore…”
“Furthermore,” Cupid interrupted with a sarcastic chuckle as he appeared out of thin air in the middle of Vi’s living room. “You ask too many damned questions, Bernice - always have and always will”
“Yeah, well, you don’t give enough answers, Kewpie Doll, but that doesn’t stop you from talkin’.”
“Bernice!” Viand I spat in unison with my gorgeous little Witch adding, “When will you ever learn? Do you want to be turned into a Potbellied Pig for all time –everywhere? Keep your trap shut. Show some respect. Think before you…”
“Oh, bite my ass,” Bernie grumped, crossing her chubby little arms over her chest and pouting better than anyone I’d ever seen. “Can I help it that I was born with a brain? That I want answers? That I…?”
“Never know when to shut up?” Cupid dared, his blond eyebrows disappearing under his curly bangs and he glared at the Cherub with eyes so wide they looked a whole helluva lot like blue and white marbles.
Long tense seconds ticked by. Neither Bernie nor the God of Love was about to give in, look away, or so much as blink. It was a true stand-off, and I admit, I was having a good time watching it all unfold.
However, Violet was not.
“Okay, y’all, I’ve had about all the bickering and fighting I can stand for a millennium or two. Either you make up and play nice, or Mick and I are going back to Nowhere, USAalone and for the rest of all time.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” Bernie and Cupid spat in unison, both of their heads snapping towards my little Witch, both sets of bright blue eyes as big and round as saucers and both jaws damned near dragging the ground.
Making a show of smoothing her cute little pink skirt, the love of my life, sat down on my lap, wrapped an arm around my neck, and nodded, "Oh, yes we will unless you two stop your constant bitchin' and get along."
"Okay, alright, you win," Bernie hastily agreed, her white-blond curls flying in every direction as she furiously nodded. With a sideways snap of her head, she added, "I'll be good if he will."
“I am the God of Love and what I say…”
"Okay, fine," Vi sniffed, the twinkle in her eyes telling me that she was having way too much fun at Cupid and Bernie's expense and loving every minute of it. Holding up her free hand, her thumb and fingers poised for the all-important Magical snap, she tsked, "If you won't even try, then I guess this is goodb…"
"Okay, okay, okay," Cupid relented, his lips turned down and the scent of cinnamon filling the air. "I'll try to be nice, but if she so much as…"
Hand going higher, Vi slowly shook her head. "No qualifiers. No if's, and's, or but's. Got it, Big Guy?"
“Yeah, I got it,” Cupid groaned, the roll of his eyes so comical I had to bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing out loud. Not only was my Mate the best Witch in the whole damned universe, but she also had the God of Love wrapped around her little finger. Violet Elizabeth Brown – soon-to-be Archer was nothing short of fan-fucking-tastic and best of all, she was all mine.
“Now, why are you here?” She asked Cupid before pointing at the food on the table and adding, “Want some cookies and latte? Or I can whip you up one of my famous and delicious strawberry shakes, if you’re in the mood.”
“Nope, I’m good. Krissy is fixing dinner and it’s my turn to bathe the kids. I just wanted to stop by and give you the news from Hades.” Handing Violet a red envelope, he nodded, “Aunt Persephone finally got back to me. I wrote it all down, but the Reader’s Digest version is that the Archer’s made friends with one of their Demon guards and convinced him to reach out to Harvey.”
“How the hell…?” I hissed.
Holding up his hand, Cupid nodded in my direction and kept right on going, “Apparently, they knew all along that Harvey’s parents bartered him to a Herd of Minotaurs in exchange for a talisman of Magic. Of course, it was all a double-cross. The Minotaurs killed Harvey’s parents on the spot, took your cousin, and raised him as a Shifter – the only one of their Herd who could mingle with humans or Others and not be suspected of being anything other than a Null.”
“I had no clue Minotaurs had that kind of Magic,” Bernie mused. “Never heard of them being anything but big bullies, the muscle and brawn almost always controlled by somebody else.”
"Yeah," I agreed. "I mean, first of all, I'm sorry that happened to Harvey, but I wasn't there. It's not my fault or my brothers. And, as far as I know, mom and dad didn't do a damned thing to help him or look for him. Hell, they probably didn't even miss him." Shaking my head, I sighed, "Well, anyhow, he's locked away and can't hurt anyone else. Secondly, and more importantly, there's a very small Herd of Minotaurs on the Isle of Skye, but their numbers are small, and they've taken the blood oath of Guardians. Chris checked all the records of the ancient Dragons and that specific Herd and its Alpha Bull have been allies of our kin for centuries."
“Well, you might want to give them a shout and let ‘em know about the assholes in and around Nowhere, USA, I have no clue if they’ll retaliate for Harvey’s incarceration, but I don’t think you should take any chances.”
“You got it,” I agreed. “I’ll get on the horn to granddad and let him know.”
