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“I can’t do this right now,” Matt said, turning away. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
“Don’t you dare walk away from me.”
“There’s no point in continuing this discussion now,” he said. “You’re upset, you’re irrational, you’re way overreacting.”
“I’m overreacting?” she repeated, her voice at least an octave higher than just seconds ago.
“I don’t appreciate being yelled at.”
“I don’t appreciate being lied to,” she countered.
“I haven’t lied to you.”
Chloe slammed the back of her fingers against the computer screen. “Thisisn’tyou?”Please tell me it isn’t you. Find a way to make me believe this isn’t you.
The silence that followed was almost unbearable. “It’s me,” Matt said finally.
“Oh, God.” Chloe felt the tears she’d somehow managed to keep at bay now in free fall down her cheeks.
“Oh, babe. Please don’t cry,” he said, walking quickly to the table and sinking into the chair beside her. “You know I can’t bear it when you cry.”
“Why?” she asked when she could find her voice. “I don’t understand why.”
“I don’t know why,” he said, his own eyes clouding over with tears. “I swear to God, I don’t know. It started as a lark, a joke. This guy at work—Tony Marshall, you remember him, I think you met him at that cocktail party last year, he’s not the best-looking guy—anyway, it’s not important. But he’s on these sites, and he’s always bragging about the hordes of women he’s been meeting—all the ‘pussy he’s been getting,’ I believe was his delicate way of putting it—and I thought, shit, if he’s making out like such a bandit, how would I do?”
Chloe fought the urge to gag.
“So, I joined a bunch of sites, and right away I got all these responses from women saying they wanted to hook up.”
“How many?” Chloe asked. “How many have there been?”
“None,” he told her. “I swear. I never followed through with any of them.”
“You didn’t?”
“No. That wasn’t the point. Honestly, babe. I just liked the attention. I admit that I was tempted. Hell, I’m human. Who doesn’t want to feel desired? But then I thought of you and how sweet you are, and how much I love you. I thought of the kids and everything I stood to lose. And I couldn’t do it.”
Yes,Chloe thought.It makes sense. What he’s saying makes sense.
“I know it was a crazy thing to do. It was juvenile and risky and downright stupid. But I love you, Chloe. I would never purposely do anything to hurt you. You have to believe me.” He fell to his knees in front of her, his head burrowing into her lap, his shoulders heaving with the force of his sigh.
Chloe lowered her face to the top of his head, burying her lips in his thick brown hair, inhaling his masculine smell.
Combined with the unmistakable scent of another woman’s perfume.
There was no point in asking for an explanation. She knew he’d have one. One of the women at the office, he’d say, maybe even giving her a name, rounding out his fabrication with an amusing anecdote designed to make Chloe smile. Or maybe he’d say that it was the agent acting for the seller, the one he’d told her about months ago, they’d worked together before, the one who always stood too close and wore too much perfume. “You don’t remember?” he’d ask, looking wounded by her continuing suspicions.
“I think you should leave,” Chloe said, her voice so quiet it was barely audible. Had she said anything at all?
“What?” His head jerked up.
“I want you to leave,” she said, more adamantly than before. She stood up so abruptly that Matt almost fell over. “Now.”
“Chloe, this is crazy. You’re being…”
“Irrational?”
“I don’t get it. I thought…”
“You thought you got away with it,” she said simply. “Again.” She took a deep breath. “I love you, Matt. Despite everything. Some part of me probably always will. But you were right. Idon’ttrust you. And I don’t believe you, no matter how hard I try or how much I want to. You’re a liar and a cheat, and as much as I’ll probably hate living without you, I’ll hate myself even more if I let you stay.”
Chloe watched Matt’s hands ball into fists at his sides and braced herself for the full force of his fury. But there was only silence. Was he going to hold firm, refuse to leave? she wondered as he turned on his heels and disappeared up the stairs. Would she find him in their bed, already asleep, when she grew tired of waiting and joined him? Would she create a scene or just crawl in beside him?
She felt his heavy footsteps pacing the floor above her head, heard him rummaging through the closet in their bedroom. Less than five minutes later, she heard those footsteps hurrying down the stairs, and watched her husband stride purposely past her, overnight bag in hand. She heard him mutter something under his breath as he pulled open the front door and vanished into the night.
It was only after the door slammed shut behind him that his words reverberated back to her: “You’ll be sorry.”
