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“It’s part of the new sex ed curriculum.”
“Wish we’d had that when I was in school,” Joan said.
“Yes, well,” Paige said, her eyes widening, then blinking closed. “What was I talking about?”
“Putting condoms on bananas,” Chloe told her.
“Right. Well, Marie was trying to be this cool mom, you know, trying not to look too shocked, when her daughter explains that they use condoms to keep the C-word inside.”
“The C-word?” Joan and Chloe asked in unison, causing another fit of laughter.
“Marie doesn’t know what her daughter’s talking about. Then she realizes the kid means semen. And Marie’s still trying to play it cool, so she says, ‘That’s really interesting, honey. But you know, it’s spelled with anS.’ And the kid says, ‘ “Cock” is spelled with anS?!’ ”
All three women were now doubled over, laughing. “Oh, God. Oh, God,” Joan said, holding her stomach. “I think I just wet my pants.”
A cellphone rang from somewhere beside them.
“What’s that?” Paige asked.
“I believe it’s your phone,” her mother told her.
“Nobody knows I’m here,” Paige said.
“Yourcellphone,” Chloe reminded her.
“I think she’s stoned,” Joan confided, as Paige stretched for her purse on the floor next to the ottoman.
“It’s Sam,” Paige whispered, staring at the caller ID.
“Who’s Sam?” Chloe asked.
“This man she met online,” Joan answered.
“The one you were supposed to see tonight?”
“No,” Paige said. “Another one.”
“She’s very popular,” Joan said.
“Apparently,” Chloe acknowledged, feeling even more guilty. She’d been so wrapped up in her own life, she’d barely given a thought to anyone else’s.
“He’s a dentist,” Joan said. “Answer it before he hangs up.”
Paige struggled to her feet. “Hello? Yes, hi, Sam. Just a sec while I go into another room.”
“Aw, you’re no fun,” her mother called after her.
“So,” Chloe said after Paige was gone, “a dentist, huh?”
“They went out the other night.”
“The evening obviously went well.”
“I think so. She’s invited him to my brother-in-law’s birthday party.”
“Wow. Won’t Heather be surprised,” Chloe said, the name lodging in her throat like a piece of hard candy. “Oh,” she added.
“What is it?”
