Page 157 of Cul-de-sac


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Maggie fights to make sense of her husband’s last remark. “I don’t understand.”

“I don’t want a divorce.”

“What?”

“I don’t want a divorce,” he repeats. “I love you, Maggie. I’ve always loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

“You left me.”

“I know. And it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

Maggie lowers her head into her hands. “Maybe it wasn’t so stupid.”

“Now I’m the one who doesn’t understand.”

“I’dalreadyleft me,” she says. “Every day, another little piece of me disappeared, till all that was left was this frightened little shadow of who I used to be. A shadow afraid of her shadow.” She looks into her husband’s eyes. “You can’t leave someone who isn’t there.”

“What are you saying?”

“That your leaving was a wake-up call. You said I lost my spark. I did. But I lost way more than that. I lost me. In a way, your leaving forced me to find myself again.”

“So where does that leave me? Where does it leaveus?”

“I love you, Craig,” she says, repeating his words. “I’ve always loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you.” She takes a deep breath. “But I’m too exhausted—physically, emotionally—to think straight right now.” She pushes back her chair and stands up. “I’m going to bed.” She walks to the door. “Can we talk about this in the morning?”

He smiles. “I’ll be here.”

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