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I’m not working tonight, so he’s already screwed with my income. I couldn’t take the risk that he would come on the site, and I’d see him. I’m not allowed to ignore a client once they connect with me. That’s one of the top rules. Whoever comes online first gets me.
And he did get me.
My God, he made me touch myself, and I’m the fool because I was already thinking of him. As if I’m not disgusting enough as it is.
What now, though?
What the hell is he playing at?
And did he know what I was doing? How the fuck did he find out I was on that site?
Of all the people to find out such a secret, it had to be him.
Will he tell everyone?
Why wouldn’t he?
I played with fire, so of course I’m going to get burned to a crisp. I shouldn’t have told Principal Kolyav about the drugs. I was in over my head and should have taken Isabelle’s advice.
I just didn’t want to roll over and play dead when I’m already down in the dumps.
Now, look at me. I’ll have to go back to that school, and if Chad has told people about my extracurricular activities, I don’t know what I’ll do.
You can only access my images and profile if you’re a member, but that won’t stop him from telling his asshole friends to sign up so they can see me and then destroy me.
I feel sick, like I’m going to vomit everything I’ve ever eaten, and I’m going stir crazy in this house.
I’m not the kind of person who stays inside for too long, and I’ve never felt more suffocated than I have today.
I also barely slept last night, and every time I drifted off, I fell into a nightmare.
I get off the bed and gaze out the window at the darkness.
Night fell a little over an hour ago.
Air is what I need. Some cool, fresh air to take the heat off. There’s a little park near the river just across from the house. It’s in the woods and looks a little creepy, but it’s safe.
Reaching for my jacket, I shrug into it and head out.
Milla, our head maid, walks out of the living room when I arrive downstairs. Concern washes over her face when she sees me. She’s the only member of staff Mom kept after we left L.A. and has been with us since I was ten. She was the extra pair of eyes after what happened to me.
“Sweetie, are you okay?” She asks.
“Yeah. I just need some air. I won’t stay out too long. I’m going to the park.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, I’m fine. You know how I hate being cooped up.”
She gives me a hearty laugh. “I do. I’ll make you some of my butterscotch pie for supper.”
“That sounds delicious. Thank you.” It’s my favorite thing, but I think tonight I might need a whole baking show of pies to make me feel better.
I give her a quick hug and head out past the guards. We didn’t have guards when we lived in L.A. with Dad, so they make me feel uneasy. They’re Cal’s men, and it goes without saying that they’re here in case of the kind of trouble that could get a person killed.
“Just going to the park,” I tell the two at the gates, and they nod.
I slip out the side entrance and when I’m on the pavement, I pick up speed, enjoying the tiny taste of freedom.
