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“You have my word. Hurting you or Jen in any way was the last thing I wanted to do. The two of you are important to me. If you don’t believe anything else, please believe that. If there was a way to get back the time we’ve lost, I’d do it in a heartbeat. In fact, there’snothingI wouldn’t do for you and that little girl right there.” He looked in to her eyes for a second, warmed by the acceptance he found there, as though he’d finally said something right. Perhaps he should have copped an insanity plea right up front. Maybe his actions were more understandable under those circumstances.Figures. The bad news was: There was a distinct possibility the crazy still resided within him.
Luke brought her fingers to his lips for a kiss before he released her hand. “You’re exhausted. Why don’t you lean that seat back and get some sleep?”
She glanced at him again, a slight tilt to her head. “You have to be just as tired. I’ll stay awake and we can talk or play a stupid game.”
Luke grinned, reminded of the times the three of them had played Jen’s word games until all hours of the night and the hilarity that had ensued. “Sounds fun, but it’s not necessary. I don’t really sleep much anymore.” He felt her looking at him and braced himself for the questions he knew would follow…and the truth he was determined to share.
“Ever? Surely you must sleep sometime.” Her voice was wary, as though she had to ask but wasn’t sure she really wanted the answer.
“Unfortunately, that’s true. I catch an hour or two now and then before I wake up in a cold sweat. My experiences with Uncle Sam changed me—and not for the better. I have nightmares and headaches. I get startled easily, and when I do, I come up swinging. But I’m better than I was, and I’m grateful for that. Mostly I try to stay awake.”
“How long has that been going on?”
Luke shrugged. “Started while I was over there…in that filthy prison.” A shudder worked its way slowly through him. “I thought I’d seen it all with my SEAL unit, but I didn’t have a clue. After my team member, Ian Mathias, and I were captured, the interrogator at the camp where we were held started his psychological warfare. Ahmed Kazi was his name—the name he took when he converted to Islam. He was born in New York, but, man, that guy hated Americans, and military personnel were apparently the lowest in his opinion. He had it in for us from day one. A master at the art of torture, he wanted us to anticipate what was going to happen next.
“Ian drew the short straw—he didn’t make it.” Luke struggled to keep his voice steady. “I dream about him a lot. Relive that helpless feeling when I’m filled with so much hate my heart’s pumping like a locomotive and there’s not a fucking thing I can do to save him.” Anger filled Luke, and he clenched his hands in a death grip around the steering wheel to keep his rage from escaping.
“My God.” Sally’s whisper was nearly inaudible, but her warm, caring touch on his leg snatched him back from the brink. “I knew it was bad, Luke, but I didn’t realize you still lived with it night and day. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Focusing on her face, he fought to get his anger under control. He never wanted her to see that side of him. “You already have. That picture. I wasn’t kidding about you and Jen saving my life. You kept me from giving up. Gave me a reason to keep fighting. Calmed me when I woke from a dream, breathing so damn hard my ribs ached. After Ian was killed, you were all I had.” Luke paused to see if he was giving her too much information—convincing her he really was crazy. Her rapt attention as she turned toward him seemed to ask for more.
“The bond we had before I deployed took on new meaning after I was captured. I…took some liberties—embellished a bit. Hope you don’t mind.” He stole a glance in her direction, and she still hadn’t looked away. Might as well get it all out in the open. “I’ve imagined making love to you in a hundred different ways. Just so you know, sunshine, we were incredible together.” Was that a grin working at the corners of her lips or just wishful thinking? “That’s what makes what I did to you so terrible. You never gave up on me once, yet I took it on myself to decide you wouldn’t want half a man back from the war.” He stopped then, strangely bereft of words.
“Thatwaswrong of you.” Sally nodded her head in agreement. “But I can’t begin to comprehend what you went through. Nor am I qualified to decide how you should react to everything that happened.” She looked in to his eyes. “I’m really glad you’re here, Luke.”
Luke’s surprised gaze collided with her sure and steady one. A full-on gorgeous smile blossomed across her otherwise tired visage. He reluctantly jerked his eyes back to the road, unable to control a pleased grin. “Yeah? Does that mean you’ll giveusanother chance?”
“It might…on one condition.”
“Which is…?”
“Honesty is a big deal for me. I won’t settle for less.” She flinched as though something pinched her on the last word, regret worrying her gorgeous eyes for a split second before she blinked it away and smiled a little too brightly.
Luke frowned. Was she still haunted by his lie? He knew only too well what it was like to be unable to forget, and he didn’t want that for her. It wasn’t conducive to the plans he dared have for their life together.
Luke spotted a turnout ahead and stepped on the brakes, pulling over a little quicker than he should have. He leaned toward the woman whose opinion meant everything to him, took her hand again and placed it over his heart. “You won’t ever have to settle, sunshine.” Releasing his seat belt and then hers, he hooked one arm around her waist, pulling her to the edge of the seat until she was close enough her breath tickled his cheek. He leaned in slowly with a grin, almost touching, then nibbled and teased the corner of her mouth before he took possession of her lips. She responded to him as though she’d wanted this as badly as he had, opening for him when he ran his tongue across the seam of her lips. When he delved inside like a starving man, she met his searching tongue with parrying thrusts of her own. She tasted of honey and smoke, and he couldn’t help a rumbling laugh against her soft lips.
“What’s so funny, sailor?” Sally kissed him again and then drew back to look in his eyes.
“We’ve been smoked. Do I taste like a bonfire?” His hand settled on her neck and stroked gently.
“A little. Me too?” She obligingly bent her neck so he could take full advantage of her satiny skin.
Luke pulled her toward him again. “I love the way you taste.”
She leaned into him as he nipped at her bottom lip before he pressed his mouth to hers and lost himself in the homecoming he’d dreamed of so many times. He pressed her back against the seat and deepened the kiss, needing to claim her as his own so there’d no longer be any question. By her soft moans and the way she fisted her hand in his hair, she was as caught up in the heat of the moment as he was. In only a few minutes, they were both breathing heavily.
Remembering where they were, why they had set out and the nine-year-old girl sleeping in the back, Luke reluctantly released Sally. He pulled back to his own side of the vehicle and leaned against the steering wheel while he caught his breath. Turning an apologetic smile her way, he shifted the Jeep into gear. “That was a hell of a lot hotter than anything I imagined.”
One side of her mouth shot upward in a smug grin, and she placed her hand, palm down, on his thigh. The warmth of her touch set off a chain reaction that ended with his jeans becoming tight and uncomfortable.
She lowered her voice to a sexy murmur. “Speaking of that—you’ve got your work cut out for you, Luke Harding.”
He eyed her curiously. Should he be worried by the obvious challenge in her smile? “Yeah? How’s that?”
“I fully expect you to show me those hundred different ways you’ve imagined us making love.”
Luke coughed, steering the Jeep onto the roadway again. “Damn it. You’re killing me here.”
