AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A door opened and closed down the hallway to his right. A second later, Sally appeared, a green terry-cloth robe tied closed around her slim waist, leaving much of her legs bare. She glanced at him, then quickly away. Silently, she circled the room, picking up newspapers that had been left scattered on the furniture, empty dishes and cups and a game Jen and Tiffany had probably been playing. Finished with her chore, she folded her arms across her chest and turned toward him. The man-made chill in the room was enough to have him going for the blanket, but he stared right back at her.
“You never answered my question. What are you doing here, Luke?”
Right to the point. He’d expected that from her, and she’d get the same from him. “I came to see you. I meant to call first, of course, but I couldn’t walk away while your friend was being such a jerkwad.”
She straightened, dropping her arms. “Were you just sitting out there in the dark watching me?” Her voice conveyed the same disgust he saw in her eyes.
“Well, yes…and no. There were also a few drive-bys.” He stopped at her disbelievinghumphand raised his hands as though, by his sheer will, he could keep her from stomping out of the room. “I’m not a stalker, Sally. I know this sounds ugly and perverted, but I only kept my distance because I was having a hard time working up the courage to face you. And I couldn’t leave without apologizing.”
Sadness filled her eyes and her shoulders slumped as she turned away. “Do you know what you’ve done? If you’re not here in the morning, Jen will be devastated. If youarehere, she’ll be shattered when she sees you walk out of her life. Either way, that little girl gets hurt, and that’s the one thing I swore you’d never get the chance to do again.”
Luke reached her in three strides, a hand on each arm, turning her to look at him. “You have to believe me—I never intended to hurt either of you, but especially not Jen. You know how I feel about her. This isn’t easy for me either, but I owe you an explanation. I know I’ve fucked this up. I should have come a long time ago. Will you sit with me? Hear me out? Please?” He’d hurt her without even the courtesy of telling her why. Now he was asking forhertime, and she had every right to turn her back on him. His chest constricted with the fear she might do just that.
Her gorgeous blue gaze drilled into him for a moment before she barely nodded. “You don’t owe us anything, but I’ll listen because I’d like to know where our signals got crossed.” She slipped by him and strode to an armchair that sat to the left of the couch.
Luke followed, grateful to be able to breathe again. Scooping up the picture that had slipped to the floor when he’d risen to go after her, he returned to his seat, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. Momentarily at a loss to start the conversation, he held the worn photograph out for her to see.
She searched his eyes before she reached for it and ran one slender finger down the crease, lingering on Jen’s face. “You still have this.”
It was a statement rather than a question, but it provided the opening he needed. “That picture was all I had of you and Jen over there. It meant everything to me. The prison guards let me keep it, then found every opportunity to tell me I’d never see you again. But I didn’t believe them because you and Jen wouldn’t let me give up. I know that sounds nuts, but trust me, I’ve been checked and rechecked by the best military psychiatrists available, and I’m completely sane. You and that picture are the reasons I didn’t throw in the towel after the first month.”
Sally sat up even straighter, if that was possible, and leaned to hand him the photograph. “As you can probably tell, Jen is still quite attached to you. When your brother called to say you’d been captured…by terrorists I couldn’t tell her that. She was too young, not equipped to handle something like that. Lord knows I wasn’t either. So, I’m very happy you came home, but I’m confused. I rushed to Bethesda when I heard you’d been rescued, only to be told I was on the short list of people you didn’t want to see. No explanation. I had to wait for your brother to visit you to find out how you were doing. I was scared to death for you, and hurt and embarrassed for me. Oh, don’t worry. I’m over it. I didn’t have any claim on you. But why show up now? You must know how hard this will be for Jen when you leave again.”
Luke folded his hands, resisting the urge to succumb to his guilt and look away. He was also very aware Sally hadn’t said his leaving would be hard on her. “What did Garrett and Rachel tell you?”
She smoothed her robe over her thighs, her forehead furrowing. The dim lighting made her bruises appear larger and darker. “They said you’d been seriously wounded during the rescue…that the doctors wanted to stabilize you before surgery…and that they were only allowing family to visit.” A harsh laugh punctuated her words. “I went to the hospital for three days anyway…just in case. The last day, I arrived in time to see three sailors leaving your room, all smiles. I was ecstatic, thinking you were better. When I asked at the nurses’ station, they didn’t know anything about a family-only order. One of the nurses asked my name as she was reading your chart, and she got this look on her face like she had a mouth full of something she couldn’t possibly swallow. That poor woman was the only one brave enough to tell me it was only me you didn’t want to see.” Her eyes, full of hurt, drifted away from his, studying something on the wall behind him.
“Guilty as charged.” He recalled the day she was referring to as though it was yesterday. His SEAL unit had returned Stateside, and three of his best buds…and Ian’s…had surprised him at the hospital. Not that he was thrilled to have them as visitors either, but he’d learned three things about true friends that day. They wouldn’t let you piss your life away feeling sorry for yourself. They were willing—even eager—to tell you when you’d screwed up. And theyalwayshad your back. They were quick to tell him he owed the truth to the mystery woman in the picture he was always scrutinizing. Where she went with it after that was up to her. Unfortunately, he’d come around to their way of thinking a day too late.
She jerked her gaze back to him, her jaw set in stony resolve. “When Rachel and Garrett learned it was you and not your doctors behind the order to keep me out, they were mad as hell. I made excuses for your behavior, blaming your injuries and frame of mind after the ordeal you’d been through. Garrett was set on confronting you, but I begged him not to. I couldn’t handle being the cause of an argument between you and your brother. You needed him…and you’d made it clear youdidn’tneed me. Garrett was sure you’d come to your senses after you’d had some time to deal with the trauma. I wasn’t so sure, but I went home trying to fool myself into believing it was true.”
Luke hung his head with the weight of his regret. “I was a damn fool. You and Jen were with me every step of the way in that desert. When the rescue unit found me, the captain in charge said to start planning my homecoming, and you were the first person I thought about. I couldn’t wait to see you again.” Luke paused as his memories pressed in on him.
“Then what was it?” Disbelief closed over her features.
He could have reached for her hand and threaded his fingers through hers, but her guarded expression told him how foolhardy that idea was. Misery rose up like a living thing and tried to deter him, but he raised his gaze to hers. Memories closed around him.
“Everything changed when I woke up on a hospital ship…paralyzed from the waist down.” It had taken everything he possessed to force the words out without also giving away the bone-deep terror he’d become acquainted with that day.
Sympathy lined Sally’s face, and though he hated her feeling sorry for him, Luke couldn’t stop now if he was going to get through this.
“Doctors said the round missed my heart by a fraction of an inch and lodged right up against my spine. Swelling had caused the paralysis, but they couldn’t operate until the inflammation was gone. In either case, they weren’t giving me very good odds I’d ever get out of a wheelchair.”
It was obvious now he’d made a hasty and ill-advised decision, but it hadn’t been so easy to call when nurses had performed every humiliating service he needed while he looked ahead to nothing but more of the same. Somehow, he had to make her understand. “Whether you knew it or not, you saved my life in that prison. I couldn’t saddle you and Jen with a cripple—or worse yet, leave you to make a choice you’d probably never forgive yourself for.”
Something like anger flashed in her eyes and she started to speak, but Luke raised a hand.
“There’s more. Please let me get this out. If you can’t bring yourself to forgive me, I’ll live with that.”
Sally pressed her lips together.
“I was more like an animal than a man when those soldiers rescued me from that prison. I’d been living like one for months. Wallowing in filth. Eating slop—God only knows what they fed us—and we were glad to get it. Taking whatever they decided my punishment was for being alive each day. Living in a blind rage every minute, but knowing that to give them even one provocation would mean my death. I was on the fucking edgeallthe time. I wasn’t safe to be around.”
Even delving into his memories far enough to give her a summary of the hell he’d lived filled his nostrils with the putrid stench of death, and his stomach churned into a knot the size of an Idaho mountain. He dropped his head and fought the smells and sounds of the illusion that wanted to claim him again.It’s not real. It’s in the past. I’m home…with Sally.
He raised his head and met her gaze. “I didn’t want you to see me like that…or feel sorry for me and possibly get trapped in a relationship you never really wanted. I tried to get my brother to stop you from coming to the hospital, but Garrett threatened me if I even suggested that he or Rachel lie to you. So,Ilied to them about visitation, and then I told myself what I was doing was best for everyone.” He tried a half-hearted smile, but she looked a little pale, biting her lower lip nervously. At least she didn’t seem quite as angry as she had before.
“I’d just gotten my courage up to tell you everything…ask you to go home and forget about me…when Garrett said you’d left. I’m sorry I hurt you and Jen—actually, sorry doesn’t begin to describe the regret that weighs me down every hour of the day.” This time he couldn’t help himself. He reached toward her, covering one hand as it rested on her thigh. She made no move to welcome his touch so, after a few seconds, he pulled his hand away. “Please don’t blame Garrett or Rachel. I begged them not to tell you how serious my injuries were, both physical and mental. I told them I’d tell you when I was better. I’m pretty sure Rachel may never speak to me again, but here I am, as promised.” Although his explanation was way too late if the distrust in her eyes was any indication.
