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“Zadie? My sweet little Zadie told off my mom?” There was no way. The drugs they had him on were obviously good shit.
“Yep. She did it in that soft voice that makes you act crazy. Told your mom she feels sorry for her for missing out on knowing you. Zadie also called her out on neglecting you and said if anyone is irredeemable, it’s your mom.”
“Fuck,” I breathed.
I was in love with this girl. There was no doubt in my mind?and no going back now that I knew.
“Yeah. You messed up, my boy.” If a guy with hundreds of stitches in his face could look smug, Julien achieved it.
“I just threw her out of your room.” I rammed my head into my hands. “Fuuuck!”
“Go. I’m fine here.” He closed his eyes. “I’m gonna take a nap.”
Julien drifted off, but I didn’t go. I stayed. Mostly because he’d very nearly died a week ago, and I wasn’t comfortable leaving him alone yet. But part of the reason I couldn’t seem to raise my ass out of my seat was because if I went to her and she turned me away after every-fucking-thing, it might be over.
I knew myself well enough to know I wouldn’t accept that answer. If I had to chain her up in my bedroom, I’d make her mine. That wasn’t what I wanted, but that was where my head was, which was exactly why I stayed where I was.
I was going to give her clean, and I wasn’t there yet. But three weeks of silence was over. She had to know I was coming.
Me:I thought you were Vanessa. I would have never thrown you out. Come back to see Julien as often as you want.
Zadie:Hi. It’s fine. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I’ll keep my visits to nighttime. Don’t worry.
Me:Night is good, but I’m not worried. It was good to see your face, even if you were looking at me like I was an axe murderer.
Zadie:You startled me, that’s all. I don’t think you’re an axe murderer.
Me:That’s a relief.
Zadie:I’m really glad you’re alive, btw. I’m sorry Julien got hurt, but I can’t be sorry he saved you. Anyway, thanks for texting. I’ll be back to see Julien soon.
I brought my phone up, slapping it against my forehead. Fuck, this girl. She said these things, these sweet, sincere words, and they came so easily, but they were daggers that lodged in my heart.
Me:We need to talk, Zadie. I don’t know where your head’s at, but I know where mine is, and I have some things to say. I’m caught up with Julien right now, but soon, mama, we’re going to talk.
Zadie:If you’d like to talk, we can. I don’t think there’s anything left to say, but I’ll listen.
Nothing left to say? I had a lifetime of words to say to her.
It was about time we got started.
Marco and I swapped shifts. That was after I punched him in the gut for not telling me Zadie had been coming to the hospital. He thought he’d been doing me a favor. He knew better now.
When she arrived for her nightly visit, I was camped out by Julien’s bed, watching a movie with him on my iPad. She stopped at the door, her eyes wide.
“Oh. Hi.” Her eyes shifted to the door. She was seconds from bolting.
Julien stretched out his hand to her. She didn’t hesitate to cross the linoleum floor and slip her hand into his.
“Hi, Julien.” She brought his hand up and kissed his knuckles. “Still on the good stuff?”
His grin was sloppy. “I’m high as a kite, Princess Z. Amir’s making me watchNo Country for Old Menfor the tenth time, and I don’t even care.”
“Hi, Zadie.” I patted the chair next to mine. “Come. Sit down.”
“Hello.” She shuffled her feet, peering down at Julien before flashing her gaze to me. “Are you sure? I can come back another time. I don’t want to overwhelm you with visitors.”
Julien tried to wave her off. “Oh, please. You think you’ve ever overwhelmed anyone? You’re the exact right amount of whelm.”
