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Chapter Ten
Amir
Inthepitchblack,I caught Zadie a second before she hit the ground. When my arms clasped around her, she squealed a tortured, strangled sound that barely made it out of her throat.
“No,” she moaned. Her hands made weak claws, hitting and scratching at my chest with kitten-like strength. Her entire body was racked with tremors.
“Zadie, come on, mama. You’re okay.” I held her tight against my chest, instinct telling me that was what she needed, even though I had no clue what had her so fucking spooked.
A keening noise that shot me straight through my sternum came from her, and she kept fighting, even as her hits grew weaker.
“Listen to me.” I threaded my fingers in the back of her hair. “Fucking listen. I’m not going to hurt you. No one’s going to hurt you. Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
“No, no, no, no. Please no.” Her voice was tiny and pleading.
Jesus Christ, had I done this to her? I knew I’d fucked up, but was this the result?
“You want me to let you go? Tell me if you want me to let you go.”
“No,” she cried, clinging to me instead of fighting me.
“Okay.” I lowered my forehead to the top of her head and squeezed my eyes shut. “Okay, Zadie. I need you to breathe. You’re safe. I’m not going to hurt you. No one’s going to hurt you. You’re as safe as can be. We’re in a closet in the library. You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you. Breathe for me. Nice and slow.”
I kept going, repeating myself. Her shallow pants had gone deeper, slowing incrementally. Her hands had opened, sliding to clasp around my neck. I no longer had to hold up her entire weight. She still leaned on me, and I liked that, so I wanted her to keep doing it. Quivers ran through her muscles. Her face was shoved against my chest. But she was calming and letting me help her get there.
“You know where you are?” I asked softly.
She sucked in a shuddering breath. “Closet, in the library.”
“You know who I am?”
“Amir.”
“Are you safe?”
She made a choking sound. “I don’t know.”
“You’re safe.” My fingers slid through the back of her hair in a rhythmic motion. “Am I going to hurt you?”
“I—I don’t know.”
I shook my head and rubbed my lips on her crown. “I’m not going to hurt you. No one is.”
“You’re not going to hurt me,” she repeated.
“That’s right. I’m not going to hurt you. No one is.”
“You said that,” she whispered.
“I need you to believe it. Do you believe it?”
“I believe it right now.”
The waver in her answer brought me to a stop. I grew still as I turned it over in my mind. She either believed I was going to hurt her or someone else was. Quite possibly both.
“What were you running from? What had you so spooked?”
She shook her head and whimpered, “He’s out there.”
