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He kneeled in front of me, cupping my hips in his hands, rubbing his lips back and forth on the curve of my stomach.
With my eyes closed, I threaded my fingers through his hair and let my head fall back. His mouth was warm now, the ice from the club ancient history. He kissed me from hip to hip, then lower, dragging my panties down a centimeter at a time. His mouth dragged from my belly button to the top of my slit. Tongue darting out, he wedged it between my lips then sucked. I exhaled a soft gust of breath, tipping my hips toward him.
Amir urged me onto the bed, staying on his knees between my open legs. His hands were splayed on my inner thighs, keeping them spread. I was on my elbows, watching him look me over, licking his top lip as if he was eyeing his favorite dessert.
He lowered his head, and though I knew he wanted to bury his face and devour me, he took his time. Laving, touching, kissing me everywhere, not only my clit. He drew my pleasure out to maddening lengths, then took it further. This man,myman, was worshiping at my altar.
My fingers curled into the sheets next to me. Each pass of his teasing tongue had me lifting my hips formore. Could anything be better than this? I didn’t think it was possible.
“Amir,” I whispered. “Oh god, baby, I love what you’re doing.”
His eyes met mine as he pulled my clit into his mouth. There weren’t many things more intimate and raw than maintaining eye contact with him while he sipped at my pleasure like it was life-giving. But we did this. We always looked at each other. Amir didn’t try to hide how much he loved my body, and I couldn’t bear looking away from him.
Until I had to.
A bolt of heat shot down my spine, lifting my hips off the mattress and throwing my head back. My stomach tightened until all I could do was rock into his mouth, seeking relief from the pressure. And he gave it to me, so beautifully, I had to cry his name to the heavens.
“Amir…you…I…please, Amir!”
He slid one hand up, pressing it against my thrashing heart, while he licked me through my pleasure and all the aftershocks.
He climbed to his feet when I was finally done, and I sat up, intent on helping with his clothes too. His nimble fingers unbuttoned his shirt in seconds, sliding it off his sinewy, golden arms. My fingers were frozen on his belt. Lip between my teeth, I got caught up on the tight, lean muscles of his stomach and my favorite trail of black hair that ran from the middle of his chest all the way down. Leaning forward, I dragged my tongue along the trail. Amir’s fingers tangled in the back of my hair, holding my face to his abdomen.
“Beautiful fucking girl.” He tipped my head back and stared down at me, motionless. “My beautiful fucking girl.”
“My beautiful fucking man.” My hands unfroze, working his belt open, then his zipper. Reaching into his briefs, I freed his thick, swollen cock and lowered my head to take it in my mouth. He held on to my hair, not allowing me to go very deep. I swirled my tongue around the tip, needing to show him the same precious treatment he gave me.
“Zadie,” he groaned. “I want that, mama. You can give me your mouth all you want any other time, but right now, I want to hold you while I’m inside you.”
He tugged me away from his cock, holding my face in both hands. He stared down. I peered up. The corners of our mouths tipped at the exact same time.
I loved him. I had fallen in love with this violent, corrupt, loving, beautiful man. It didn’t make sense, but I did, I loved him.
And when he lay on his side, draping my leg over his hip, slowly sinking inside me, I considered he might love me too. If not now, then one day. Because when he held me like this, when his eyes locked on mine, more warm and searching than I’d ever seen, I believed he could love me.
Amir’s mouth covered mine, his tongue slipping between my lips and licking me in the same languid motion his hips rocked into mine. All thoughts of violence, love, consequences, desire, blood, life, fled from this space we shared, until all we were left with was us. Two bodies meeting, finding pleasure and comfort in each other. He fucked me well into the night until we were both breathless and spent, wrung out on each other.
After, Amir continued treating me like a princess, helping me clean up and kissing me sporadically. He tugged his shirt over my head. He’d told me he liked how they were tight on me in places they were loose on him, so I couldn’t bring myself to feel self-conscious when his tees didn’t hang on me like they did Vanessa.
I sat against the headboard, watching him pull on a pair of basketball shorts that hung so low on his hips, my mouth went dry. He caught me looking and chuckled at my blush. Bending over me, he tipped my chin with his knuckle and took my mouth in a slow, thorough kiss.
Amir took the spot beside me in bed, pulling me down so we lay face-to-face again. He caressed my cheek in an achingly sweet way I felt to the tips of my toes. I didn’t think he even realized he was capable of being this gentle with anyone before me. I’d given him so many of my firsts, willingly and with pleasure. He gave me this first without being aware, but I’d treasure being the first—and hopefully only—girl he took such great care with.
“No one ever held me when I was a kid,” he whispered, like he was telling me a great secret, and maybe he was. I had a feeling this wasn’t something he’d said out loud before.
“I’m really sorry,” I whispered back, snuggling in closer.
“My brother loved me. He wasn’t my parent, and he’s never really been right in the head, but he’s always loved me.”
My heart was being strangled with his words. “I’m happy you had him.”
He went quiet for a long moment, caressing my cheek and sweeping over me with his gaze. “Our parents were busy. Kids were on their checklist, something to be done. Once we were here, they checked us off, then checked out. We had nannies, but they weren’t fucking Mary Poppins, you know? But Reno…I don’t know how to explain it except to say he kept me human. Without him, I think I would have checked out too. He started stealing for me, candy, toys, character T-shirts. Shit most kids had, but not us. He knew what it was like not to have it, so he got it for me.”
“He didn’t want you to feel like he felt.”
“Right.” Amir’s jaw hardened, and his gaze went distant.
“What character shirts did he steal for you?”
