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Fuck me if I didn’t have tears in my eyes. I was so close to throwing up and crying and making a complete fool of myself.
“Don’t drop the class, Elsa.” Firm, bossy, he commanded me like he had the right to.
“Disappear, Lock.”
For the second time in the span of ten minutes, I spun on my toes and walked away.
At least this time he didn’t chase me.
I went through the motions. I had to. Sal and I had a lot to do to prepare our presentation, and although I’d let myself down time and time again, I couldn’t do it to him. We worked together every spare minute we had, which was such a goddamn blessing, I could’ve gotten down on my knees.
By Friday night, we were done. We’d be presenting to the class on Monday, then to the alumni next weekend. I was proud of our business plan. We’d worked our asses off for our little startup.
The problem was, now I was at loose ends, and that meant thinking. Thinking meant more melancholy because I hadn’t been able to hang on to more than a couple minutes of anger at a time.
Helen and Zadie offered to hang out, to have a girls’ night or go out dancing, but they’d been shooting me pitying glances all week. I had to escape.
The destructive side of me wanted to stir up trouble. I scrolled through my phone, rolling my eyes at all the phone numbers of people I barely remembered.
I stopped on Sera’s. Maybe band geeks could be fun.
Me:Hey, it’s Elena.
Sera:Hey, girl! I’m so excited to hear from you!
Me:I was thinking we should hang out. Is there anything going on tonight?
Sera:Absolutely. My roommates and I are getting ready to go to the bars. Want to come over and pregame with us? We’d love to have you.
Me:Perfect. I’ll be there in twenty.
Sera:We’re going to have so much fun!
I honestly didn’t care if we had fun. As long as I did something I’d regret tomorrow, something that would take my focus off the hollowness in my chest, I’d be satisfied.
Digging in the back of my closet, I chose my smallest sundress that barely hit me midthigh. I’d only worn it once because of how minuscule it was, but since I was all for making bad decisions, it seemed like the time to throw it on.
A pair of heels and swipe of lip gloss later, and I was ready, heading out the door. My timing was a wreck. Lock’s truck pulled into his driveway at the same time, with Julien in the passenger seat.
Or maybe my timing was perfect, given the slamming of his door and furious charge across the grass. Julien was a lot slower, but I was pleased to see him using his crutches instead of his chair.
“Get back in the house,” Lock ordered.
Sputtering a laugh, I shook my head and turned to go in the opposite direction. His brick wall of a chest stopped me as he maneuvered himself in front of me.
“Where are you going in that dress?” he demanded.
“Not cool, Lock,” Julien said from behind me. “Let her go.”
I laughed harder, trying to dodge around him. Of course he wouldn’t let me.
“This isn’t disappearing.” I drew a circle in the air around him with my fingertip. “It’s the opposite of that.”
He ignored me and carried on with his caveman ways. “You can’t go out like that.”
Julien sidled up beside his friend, bringing his shoulder in front. “Back off,” he muttered.
“Untrue. I’m going. You can watch me leave, but that’s theonlything you can do.”
