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She whispered my name, and the tinge of fear in her expression killed me. It fuckin’ killed me because I wasn’t afraid of anything except losing her.
“I can’t quit my job.” From the firmness in her words, she believed there was no bending.
“I’m not askin’ you to do it today.”
Her fingers dragged back and forth on my skin. “But you’re going to ask, and I’ll have to say no. I will hate every second you’re gone, but we’ll find a way to make it work. Other people do it and—”
I yanked her against me, eliminating the space I’d allowed her to have. “I’m not other people.We’renot other people.”
“I know we’re not. If it was just me, I’d consider it, but I have to make the right choice for my son. You know that, baby. I can’t be irresponsible.”
“I’ll take care of you. You just have to let me.”
She stiffened. “Callum—”
“Tell me where to send the money. The loans will be taken care of tomorrow.”
“Why would you do that?”
She seemed truly perplexed, and it didn’t make sense to me. I’d told her from the beginning she was mine. I’d done nothing but show her that was true.
Instead of answering, I asked, “Did I get a fresh slate with you?”
Her head jerked, but her body remained tight in my arms. That was my choice, not hers.
“What do you mean?”
“Are you holdin’ the way I hurt you backstage all those years ago over my head, or did I get a fresh slate?”
“I’m not holding it over your head,” she whispered.
“You sure?”
Her big eyes got even wider. I could see the world inside them, but I could not read her thoughts. That maddened me.
She took her time answering, worrying her lip with her teeth. Then, after an eternity, she shook her head. “I’m not holding it over your head. You have a fresh slate.”
“Then why don’t you trust me?”
“I do.” This was automatic. No thought given to her answer. I liked that.
“Then trust that I am never walkin’ away from you. I tell you I’ll take care of you, so I will.”
“Can you let go of me? I can’t think when I’m in your arms.”
My hold on her tightened. “No. You’renotwalkin’ away either.”
“Take my hand then. Keep it in yours. Just let me breathe for a second.”
Though reasonable, I balked at the suggestion. She could think in my arms. I knew damn well I thought better when she was there.
But Wren and I were different. If she asked for two feet of space, that wasn’t unreasonable. I wouldn’t give it to her, but Iwouldgive her one.
My arms fell away, but I wove my fingers through hers as soon as they did. She sighed. I was inches from bundling her against me.
“Can we go by the windows? I want to look at the lights.” My little bird peered up at me, and she looked so lost, my heart thrashed with panic, as if she’d been physically harmed. But no, it was just me, making a mess of us.
I took her to the windows. My views were worth shit, but I guess she didn’t much care. She leaned her forehead against the pane while I stood behind her, loosely holding her hips.
