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“Then it came out that I had been a dare for Karthik. He’d never liked me, buteveryoneknew I liked him, so he used that. I’d won him twenty dollars.Twenty freaking dollars.That was all my humiliation had been worth to him, and he wanted me to know about it. Him and all his friends laughed in my face while they told me I was no better than the serial killer lover with foul breath. And it got around prom. Everyone knew by Monday. If it hadn’t been almost the end of the school year, I would have dropped out and—ow!You’re hurting me, Callum.”
She shoved at my hand, which had tightened around hers so hard, my knuckles had gone white. I let her go with a hiss. She brought her hand to her chest to cradle and peered at me with an expression so forlorn and vulnerable, it took everything in my power to stay there and not tear my entire building down brick by brick.
Those were the kind of eyes Wren had. The kind that would make a man destroy the world for her if she told him the world had done her wrong. One glance from those oversized, liquid amber eyes, and I was on the edge of forgetting the way she’d left me alone without a backward glance.
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” I gritted out. “You give me their names, I’ll destroy Karthik and every kid involved.”
She choked out a laugh, obviously thinking I was joking, and that was probably better in the long run. If Wren had any idea what went on inside my head, she wouldn’t be sitting here allowing me to touch her.
“Please don’t. I’ve let it go. High school isn’t important anymore. I only told you that story to explain where my head was when I went backstage.”
I rubbed between my brows. “I don’t understand.”
“I just...I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I don't know why I did it other than to confirm what I thought was true. That you wouldn’t be into a girl like me. And maybe our relationship was only friendship for you, but it was a lot more than that for me. Iwantedmore than that with you while, at the same time, telling myself it would never, ever happen.”
Her eyes flicked to mine, and my mouth flattened. I needed her to get to the point, not draw it out with questions that shouldn’t have needed to be asked.
She took another deep breath, her shoulders lifting then slowly falling. “I went backstage at the Maryland show and asked to meet you. You were in a corner by yourself, drinking a bottle of water. I remember you were wearing a pair of gray trousers and a white T-shirt. Your hair was pulled back in a bun. You looked like you were a thousand miles away, and you probably were. I wanted to hug you so badly, but obviously, I didn’t. Your handler or PR person, whoever she was, took me to you. She told you I wanted to meet you. I was shaking like a leaf I was so nervous. And you—” Her teeth practically impaled her bottom lip.
“What’d I do, Wren?”
“You looked through us both at first, like we weren’t even there. Then the PR woman snapped at you to get your attention. She told you again I was a big fan and wanted to meet you. You looked right at me, Callum. At my shoes, my hair, my face, and you said no.”
I raised my eyebrows. “No?”
She nodded. “You looked me over and told me no. You did not want to meet me.”
Leaning forward, I braced my elbows on my knees and dragged my fingers through the sides of my hair. I had no memory of any of this, but it wasn’t a surprise. Iris, Roddy, and Adam were good with our fans. They took pictures, signed autographs, answered questions, while I drifted along in the background. I had no interest in talking to strangers when the only thing we had in common was their love for my music. I appreciated their existence...from a distance.
“Did you tell me who you were?” I asked, even though I knew she hadn’t.
“No. I didn’t get the chance. You took one look at me and dismissed me. I wasn’t even good enough for an autograph from you. I was absolutely gutted.”
“I dismiss everyone. Stone cold, remember? How could you be surprised you got the same treatment I give everyone when I didn’t know it was you? Were you givin’ me a test you knew I wouldn’t pass? Was that what it was, Wren?”
Those eyes of hers were more than wet. They were brimming with tears. My body tensed for the first one to spill, but she swiped them away with the sleeve of her sweater before that happened.
“Maybe it was,” she whispered. “I was so low back then…the way you looked at me, like I was beneath you, brought me right back to Karthik Singh and being the laughingstock of my school. I couldn’t stand for you to look at me in that way when you knew who I really was. I just couldn’t do it. It would have ruined me for good.”
“You should have told me.” I was gruff with her, but I was having an internal battle. One side of me was so fucking angry she’d done this to us. The other side understood being low like that, feeling unlovable, outside of the norm. But rising above every fucking thing else, all I wanted was to protect Wren.
“I know. I’m so sorry, Callum. I was depressed and my life was a huge mess, more than I ever let on in our emails. I ended up making some terrible, self-destructive choices. There was no sun for me for a long time, and I convinced myself you were better off not knowing me at all anymore. I don’t know how to apologize and show you how deeply I regret ghosting you. I don’t think there are words for that. I don’t know them if there are.”
Yanking at my hair again, I stared at her, trying to figure her out, but I couldn’t.
“I made up a lot of scenarios of what happened, you know. I had plenty of time to do it. They were nothin’ close to this. If I had known you were within reach, I would have gone out of my mind.” I huffed. “Well, more out of my mind than I already was.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I thought it was me.” I scoffed, almost laughing. “I guess it was, in the end. I’m such an asshole, I sent you spinning. If I’d taken one second to pay attention to a girl I thought was a stranger, I would have realized it was you.”
She shook her head. “No. I won’t let you blame yourself. You were my very best friend and I set you up to fail.” Her bottom lip was trembling. There was a red mark in the center where her teeth had dug in. Without thinking, I reached for her and pressed my thumb against it. Her warm breath floated over my skin.
“You did do that. You were my brave girl, but you couldn’t be brave for me.” I took her chin in my hand, gentle in how I handled her this time. “The first time I saw you, when I knew it was you, it clicked. Of course this is what you look like. How could you look like anything else? I would never have been disappointed, Wren, but you didn’t know that. You couldn’t have known that.”
Her lip began to tremble again. Wren wore sadness adorably. It drew me in, needing to see it up close. “No, I didn’t know that, and even if you’d told me that, I wouldn’t have believed it. I wasn’t in a place to believeanyonewould be attracted to me, let aloneyou.”
“Why not me?”
