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“Man, fuck you. If you needed time, we’d have given it to you. But to go radio silent like you’ve done, that’s a piece of shit move. Have you even spoken to Yael?” The way his voice broke on her name told me a lot. They hadn’t gotten right with each other, even though I’d stepped out of the way for them to do so.
“Haveyou?” I countered. “You said some horrible things to her, Mo.”
Shame tugged at his corners, folding him inward. “She’s not taking my calls. Not even Mic’s. Maeve’s been spending time with her, though, so I know she’s getting by.” He smoothed a hand over his hair. “Look, I know why she isn’t talking to me, but why the hell aren’t the two of you talking? I was given the impression you were a real thing, not just a pitstop.”
“You need to fix your relationship with your sister. That’s what’s important.”
“You have to give me a hint of what’s going on. Last week you were ready to murder Jimmy for touching her, and right now it looks like you can’t even say her name. Did you break Yael’s heart?”
He sounded like he couldn’t believe it, and honestly, neither could I. I’d kept my focus on my dad all week, but with Mo in front of my face, I couldn’t deny what I’d done.
“I stepped away.”
His eyebrows shot up. “From Yael?”
“Yeah. You need each other more than you need me. I won’t break that apart.”
“That’s bullshit. You left in the heat of the moment, and I get that you need to be with your dad—no one begrudges you that—but I have to think you must really care about Yael if you were willing to cross the line with her, so what I don’t understand is you abandoning her. I’ve known you for a long time and I never thought you’d do something like this. I always figured if something actually went down between you two, she’d be the one to wring you out and leave you for dead.”
I hissed, my head shaking at his summary of Yael. “You have to quit talking about her that way. She sees herself through your eyes, and it’s not a good look.”
“See that?” He jabbed a finger at me. “That’s what I’m talking about. You defending her, caring about her, and what? You just leave? Maeve said weed was the only thing getting Yael to sleep all week.”
I threw my hands up while my gut twisted in agony. I knew nights like those. I’d had a lot lately, but not when Yael and I were together. Never when we were together.
“What do you want me to do? I can’t be the one who comes between the two of you. And my dad needs me.” My argument sounded weak, even to me. I felt like I was punching at the wind. I’d never win, so I had no idea why I kept fighting.
He shook his head. “Weak. That’s so damn weak.”
“Are you telling me you’re okay with us being together?”
He scoffed, looking me up and down. “Not like this. If my opinion is going to make the difference between you going after the girl and hiding in this apartment, then you don’t really want her.”
“I have loved her for as long as I’ve known her, Mo. I want her.”
He blinked a few times, but he didn’t seem too shocked by that revelation. “I always had a feeling, but I never knew for sure.”
One day, maybe I’d tell him the full story, but I couldn’t bring myself to go through it right now. Not when I couldn’t say for sure I’d already written the ending when I walked away from her.
“You’re not pissed?” I asked.
“That you love Yael? How could I be? I’m pissed at the way you’re loving her.” He gestured at the state of me, messy and rundown. “This right here is nowhere good enough for Yael.”
“I know. I’ve been a wreck for a while, but I’ve held it in. My dad’s been pretty sick the last few months. He won’t accept help, won’t let me move in, and I can’t. Mo, I can’t. He’s all I have. I need him to be here.” My hand balled in my hair, yanking hard enough to keep tears from welling. “I can’t drag Yael into this. I need to deal with my dad and—”
He shoved me so hard, I stumbled back onto the couch and he loomed over me. Mo was the consummate nice, affable guy, but he didn’t look it at the moment. Shadows danced in his eyes. He was every bit the protective older brother I knew him to be.
“My sister has her flaws and I am the first to point them out. I probably point them out more often than I should, and that’s on me. But the finest part of her is she has the ability to be strong when anyone else would fall down. She is the most loyal, stand-by-you-through-any-storm chick I know. She is ride or fucking die, Murray. It’s in her blood. She doesn’t know any other way to be. So, for you to say you don’t want her support when you so clearly need it, I call bullshit. I’m not going to sit here and let you rot away while breaking her heart in the process.”
He was right. On every account. I loved Yaelbecauseshe was all the things he’d said. If she had been the one to push me away when she needed me, I’d be broken too.
“God, what am I doing?” I groaned. “I have so much to fix and I don’t even know where to start.”
Mo lowered himself so we were eye to eye and pointed to his chest, then mine. “You and I are good. We’re straight, as long as you intend to get straight with Yael.”
I nodded. I couldn’t see my way there yet, but all I had was time these days.
“All right. So, you’ve fixed something. You’re started. Next, we’re going to figure out how to help Brian in a way he can accept.”
